[QUOTE=Dung Beetle]
If it’s not too much of a hijack, why are there so many guys in here (and out there) who don’t really care what they look like? There’s a big difference in “This is a great color and style” and “Well, it’s got the right number of arm and/or leg holes…”
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I dunno. I mean, I like my person and my clothes to be clean. And as a general rule, I guess I’d like my clothes to fit reasonably well. But I’m far more interested in comfort than appearance.
I think one thing for me is that I don’t think of myself as someone other people are “checking out.” And in my work or on the golf course, I’m fine with letting my performance/ability speak for itself, rather than trying to make an impression through my appearance.
And in my 40s and married for 20 years, I have a few good friends and am not concerned with making more based on my appearance. If they come through my activities and associations, well - fine.
For example, take my hair. I generally just run a brush through it while it is wet, often without even looking in a mirror. Sometimes I am a bit surprised later on to notice how crappy it looks, but I really don’t care since I’m not interested in impressing anyone. Maybe it is a sign of low self-esteem? I dunno.
Other than my wife. As I said, she has to look at me a heck of a lot more than I have to look in a mirror. So if she prefers my hair to be styled a certain way or for me to wear certain shirts with certain slacks, I’m glad to do it. And if she buys me clothes, I’ll wear them (so long as they are comfortable).
On the flip side, I’m often a mite - um - suspicious/critical? of guys who appear to put a lot of effort into their appearance. You know - wearing clothes that are clearly purchased as “an outfit”, their hair always perfect. I don’t know why. But it just doesn’t seem right that a guy should put that much effort into how he looks.
This is a weird aspect, but part of it may be related to “competition.” In general, I consider myself pretty noncompetitive. I don’t want/need to do better than anyone else - I’d just as soon everyone succeed and be happy.
Having said that, I used to do a lot of martial arts, and I remain in pretty decent shape. As far as male “competition” goes, I’m very comfortable that in a physical confrontation I could handle the vast majority of people I meet, regardless of their age or size. So being comfortable of my ability to succeed at that basest level, it seems a little silly to be “competitive” over appearance or other silly macho things.
Not saying any of the above is rational or desireable - just trying to respond to your question.
Here’s something my buddy and I were talking about while running yesterday - whether women check out men anywhere near the amount men check out women. We both said that as far as we knew, no woman had ever “taken a second look” towards either of us. Now, we aren’t movie stars and are in our mid-40s, but we are reasonably fit and aren’t exactly trolls. Wherever we rate in terms of guys - maybe 5-7?, I guarantee that I check out every woman under the age of 60 who is average or better in appearance. While I have done so for the past decades, not once did I notice a woman checking me out.
So what’s the word, girls? Are you just a heck of a lot more subtle in checking out guys, or do you set your standards a whole heck of a lot higher than us average joes?