I always get a kick out of you saying that, Faerie!
If it’s not too much of a hijack, why are there so many guys in here (and out there) who don’t really care what they look like? There’s a big difference in “This is a great color and style” and “Well, it’s got the right number of arm and/or leg holes…”
I don’t like going shopping. It’s a chore. It’s something that has to be done, but I don’t enjoy it. The exception to this is when I go shopping for books. Books are to me what shoes are to stereotypical women. I could live in a Barnes & Noble.
I’m always amazed that my husband will take a grocery list to the store and come home with exactly what’s on his list - no more, no less. I’ve never in my life been to the grocery store where I didn’t look around and remember that, oh, we need more ketchup, and pick up several things in addition to what’s on my list.
I dunno. I mean, I like my person and my clothes to be clean. And as a general rule, I guess I’d like my clothes to fit reasonably well. But I’m far more interested in comfort than appearance.
I think one thing for me is that I don’t think of myself as someone other people are “checking out.” And in my work or on the golf course, I’m fine with letting my performance/ability speak for itself, rather than trying to make an impression through my appearance.
And in my 40s and married for 20 years, I have a few good friends and am not concerned with making more based on my appearance. If they come through my activities and associations, well - fine.
For example, take my hair. I generally just run a brush through it while it is wet, often without even looking in a mirror. Sometimes I am a bit surprised later on to notice how crappy it looks, but I really don’t care since I’m not interested in impressing anyone. Maybe it is a sign of low self-esteem? I dunno.
Other than my wife. As I said, she has to look at me a heck of a lot more than I have to look in a mirror. So if she prefers my hair to be styled a certain way or for me to wear certain shirts with certain slacks, I’m glad to do it. And if she buys me clothes, I’ll wear them (so long as they are comfortable).
On the flip side, I’m often a mite - um - suspicious/critical? of guys who appear to put a lot of effort into their appearance. You know - wearing clothes that are clearly purchased as “an outfit”, their hair always perfect. I don’t know why. But it just doesn’t seem right that a guy should put that much effort into how he looks.
This is a weird aspect, but part of it may be related to “competition.” In general, I consider myself pretty noncompetitive. I don’t want/need to do better than anyone else - I’d just as soon everyone succeed and be happy.
Having said that, I used to do a lot of martial arts, and I remain in pretty decent shape. As far as male “competition” goes, I’m very comfortable that in a physical confrontation I could handle the vast majority of people I meet, regardless of their age or size. So being comfortable of my ability to succeed at that basest level, it seems a little silly to be “competitive” over appearance or other silly macho things.
Not saying any of the above is rational or desireable - just trying to respond to your question.
Here’s something my buddy and I were talking about while running yesterday - whether women check out men anywhere near the amount men check out women. We both said that as far as we knew, no woman had ever “taken a second look” towards either of us. Now, we aren’t movie stars and are in our mid-40s, but we are reasonably fit and aren’t exactly trolls. Wherever we rate in terms of guys - maybe 5-7?, I guarantee that I check out every woman under the age of 60 who is average or better in appearance. While I have done so for the past decades, not once did I notice a woman checking me out.
So what’s the word, girls? Are you just a heck of a lot more subtle in checking out guys, or do you set your standards a whole heck of a lot higher than us average joes?
The only time I browse is when I’m shopping with Mrs. and Li’l D_Odds - I need some way to fill the time. Even then, my browsing is done in 1/4 the time.
Mid-forties, reasonably fit? Oh, they’re lookin’. Trust me.
I was thinking about my own question, and the answer I came up with was: There is so much less variation in mens’ clothing than women’s, that there really isn’t very much to think about. I do still wonder why men are stereotypically not interested in their own appearance, though…first impressions and all that.
Could you pick me up a pair of black, lace-up Oxfords and a pair of brown shoes (anything), size 8.5? Thanks. I’ll pay you 20% of the total of the sale, plus $20/hr.
This year, for the third winter in a row, I needed a new coat. I went to Burlington Coat Factory, found a black down coat, priced at $60.00. I bought it and left. In and out in 10 minutes.
So what if I needed a medium and it’s a large. I found it fast and the price was right; I was done.
P.S. If I could have the fun shopping that Vetbridge does, I’d go more often.
Huh. When I tried that reasoning with her about my wandering eye, it didn’t work.
… oh, you meant “look at clothes.”
Is it because you find it:
a) Boring?
b) Confusing or frustrating?
c) Uncomfortably unmanly?
mostly A. But over the last few years, I would add a D at least when it comes to clothes. I’ve put on some weight and really hate the size I have to wear. Shopping for new clothes in that larger size grates on my nerves.
Bingo. Boring and depressing.
I think there needs to be calrification. Men don’t go shopping for clothes, in the sense they don’t go to browse with only a vague idea about what they want.
However, get a man in a Best Buy type store (yes, I know many folks hate them), bookstore, hardware store, and they shop just like the
Mostly B for me.
Basically, I have pretty simple preferences in clothes. I care nothing about current “styles” and prefer more traditional styles that will last a long time. A couple of pair of nice and older jeans in black and blue (relaxed fit Levis), a few pair of casual pants and shorts in black, blue, and navy. And then some short and long sleeved button up and golf shirts to go with them.
So I don’t care if the pro golfers are wearing mock turtlenecks, or shirts with zippers. I’m just fine with the traditional golf shirt with 3 or so buttons.
What drives me nuts is going into a store to buy a simple item like navy casual pants, to be told “Oh, navy isn’t in this year.” Well those blue slacks aren’t going to match all of the shirts I already have, and I’m not about to buy a bunch of new shirts just to go with whatever shade of blue you feel is currently in style.
I also lack a good sense of what goes together, and I dislike the idea of having a shirt and slacks that only go with each other. Feels like a kid’s “outfit” - Garanimals or somesuch.
My wife is adamant that some shirts only go with black jeans, not blue. Strikes me as crazy. I mean, doesn’t EVERYTHING go with blue jeans? She’ll say something doesn’t match and I simply don’t see it. But over the years I know what she says goes with what, and I try my best to dress accordingly. She tossed all of my Hawaiin shirts, which is fine with me as long as she replaced them with something just as comfortable that she prefers seeing me wear.
When I’m working out, I simply wear whatever is most comfortable. If shopping for workout clothes, I’ll buy whatever is cheapest that fits my needs - even if it is in some godawful color. I can never get over women who workout in matching shirt, shorts, socks, and headband.
For me, the premium is on clothes that will go with the most other clothes. For example, I have suits and sportcoats in grays and blues - but every one of my dress shirts is white.
Way too much info yet?
So my 2 buddies and I are out running over lunch today, and this hot* chick hollers out “Woo, lookit them legs!” Kinda put a little extra spring in our stride!
*(Well, she was pretty hot as far as old toothless homeless women go!) 
Toldja.
Mom? My father is the ultimate bargain finder. He will scour every store to make absolutely sure he doesn’t get “taken” by a seemingly good price. I ask him for birthday gifts well in advance because I know he will enjoy the hunt.
The only shopping my mom does is in the quilt store. She merely pushes the cart as Pop singlemindedly wields his coupons and picks up the items he has pre-selected on the grocery store flyer. He pretty much picks out her clothes because she gets a migraine if she sets foot in a mall or big store.
“Pop, those are nice shoes.”
“Wal-Mart, $8.88.”
Actually, as a retail/mall rat, I agree with you about the navy thing. It is actually in this year, BTW but we should carry it at all times. Navy is so classic and in something like Dockers, timeless.
Alot of people lack the ability to put outfits together. That is why they have nice sales girls especially in mens.
I’ll “shop” but it’s a very specific kind of shopping.
Let’s say I decide I want a shirt. Before I ever go to the store I know whether I want long or short-sleeves, office-apprpropriate or weekend styling and approximate color.
I’ll then happily spend an hour comparing short-sleeve blue shirts I can wear to work until I find one I’m happy with.
But the idea of having some vague notion I want a shirt and wandering from store to store waiting for inspiration to strike? Never.
I don’t shop, I go on tactical retrieval missions. I know what I want before I leave the house, and my goal is to obtain it and return home as fast as I can.
I do not understand spending hours upon hours at the mall. What is the point of it?
I’d venture to suggest efficiency - if I go to a shopping area I want to see everything they have because often times there’ll be something I want that didn’t occur to me and making a bunch of trips to the mall before they changed all the displays would bore me more than staying longer the one time. That and I’m into design and like distinct, interesting things, and I don’t wake up in the morning thinking “I need a long striated English netting skirt” or “I need an olive Italian lace trimmed bolero with raffia ruching cord”. I can see shopping as pointless for people who think clothes can’t possibly be interesting, I guess. That’s cool. But for some hating shopping seems to be a point of pride, which I don’t get.