men shopping with wives are often like children

Today I was shopping alone at Costco with some knowledge of what my wife wanted me to buy. Yet, as I have done in the past, when I want to get something new, I find myself often calling her on my cell for approval.

I laugh to myself why I do it. Its because she makes such a big deal if I buy too much or if “we don"t need it”.

What I found even more amusing was that grown men in their 30s, 40s and older said to their wife or significant other something like “Lets get this” and like a mother to a child, she would retort…“we don’t need it” or “put it back”. I’m not exaggerating when I say I saw this in 5 separate situations this afternoon

Have my fellow dopers noticed the same thing or am I just a total wus? and why do we men acquiesce so easily…thats the secret of continuing the marriage might be one answer.

When my husband grocery shops alone, he comes back with all kinds of junk food. He’ll try to make up for it by getting me something. “I saw these new cookies and thought it looked like something you would like. If you don’t like them, I guess I could eat them.”

I haven’t noticed the behavior described in the OP, but I know when I shop with my wife, I get cranky and I need a nap right after. Does that count?

Hmph. And here I thought SkipMagic was buying all that stuff for ME . . .

Thanks for opening my eyes, HQ.

I have known about this little trick for a while. I’ll give you an even better example. Our son’s birthday is just 2 days before mine so often times when we have his birthday party I get stuff, too. ( This year my brother got me Kid Rock tickets! ) This year hubby got our son a PS2 game that is a M-rating. ( For those of you who don’t know the rating system, thats for M for mature- our son is 9! ) And he got me two CDs and a DVD. One of the CDs he opened and took out to his car, the other is still in the wrapper in the computer room and the DVD he opened and watched right away.

His birthday is coming up, so I think a nice PS2 with an E ( for everyone ) rating, a couple of Disney movies and maybe a CD I like is in order!

Lest you all think he’s a jerk, he’s really not - he buys what he thinks others will like, because it’s something he likes. Also, we disagree on the games we feel are appropriate for the kids to play.

I have a different problem. The husband won’t put things in the cart.
Then, when we get home he’ll say something like “well - I wanted cookies, but you didn’t get any”
Dumbass. I am firmly of the opinion that if he wants to eat something, and I have not yet acquired it, he is fully capable of adding it to the cart on his own.

My family calls these types of “gifts” Sheriff Badges." My Father, when he was a little boy, gave his father a sheriff’s badge and cap gun for his birthday, so my Grand-daddy would be able to play cowboys and indians.

Back to the OP. I have the opposite problem. I won’t stray from the list. At all. I don’t care if Kielbasa is on sale and we have a coupon. It’s not on the list.

When shopping at the mall with my wife I will often finding myself slipping into little kid mode. I’ll think to myself, “not ANOTHER store.” I really work hard to not let it show, because she rewards my patience with ice cream.

Every man has a price, mine happens to be ice cream.

Okay, I’ve always known Papa Tiger is an aberration, but you guys have really confirmed it.

He LOVES to shop. And he’s the most serious comparison shopper I have ever met.

An example? Shortly after we were married, we went to the grocery store. He wanted to buy some bacon. He looks carefully at the shelves for a couple of minutes. I start getting restless. He picks up a package. “That looks good,” says I. “Why don’t we get that one?” “I need to see if anything else is better and cheaper,” says he.

So he starts picking up and examining the packages of bacon. One after another after another after another after another after…well, you get the idea. For TEN MINUTES.

I give up and sit down on the floor. Does he notice? Nope, he keeps looking at the bacon.

Finally, when he has literally looked at EVERY SINGLE PACKAGE of bacon on the shelves, he picks the one he wants to buy.

You guessed it. It’s the VERY FIRST ONE he’d picked up.

Needless to say, I have avoided going to the grocery store with him like the plague ever since!

And he only buys sensible stuff. If I want junk food? Unless I specifically ask for it, he NEVER gets me any. He doesn’t eat junk food himself so it’s just not on his radar, apparently.

Plus when he goes out to go shopping, he wants to do it ALL. That means he’ll plan out a trip with the most efficient route based on time, distance, perishability of items, etc., and then start going to one store after another after another. He LIKES that, apparently. I find it grueling and exhausting.

Guess who I let do all the shopping, all by himself, most of the time?

Yes, my husband is like a child when we shop.

He dawdles; unless I prod him (‘Just pick a damn loaf of bread!’) he would stand staring at the shelf all day.

Left to his own devices, he forges to pick up key items (eg bananas, which we eat for breakfast every single day) and instead buys cookies. The bananas are a victory: he once suggested Mr Noodle would be a good daily breakfast.

He doesn’t look at prices when he obeys his impulses. Just because it looks like a cheap lunch, doesn’t mean it is.

But he makes up for it by cooking well, and frequently.

Drachillix is an excellent grocery shopper and does 98% of all the food buying/preparation at our house on a daily basis. I tag along so I can put junk food and hair products in the cart,
Clothes shopping is another story. Not even the lingerie dept. can get the zombie-fied look off his face. He slouches slowly in my wake, patient endurance and hopeless acceptance in his dull eyes. In his more enlightened moments, he finds a chair and whips out the cell phone and plays games until I feel sorry for him and take him home.

Dawdling in the middle of an aisle, staring at everything and nothing simultaneously, in a trance-like state whilst shuffling from one foot to the other is my modus operandi.
Something about the bright lights reflecting off gaudy packaging causes some sort of short-circuit in my brain.
If it wasn’t for my girlfriend I would be there till closing, I need that nudge to bring me back to reality.
The only thing I do well whilst shopping is trolley surfing and organising the goods in our trolley by temperature. I may be an aisle zombie but no rotisserie chicken straight from the oven was ever placed next to the butter on my shift.

My wife and I must have worked it out pretty well. She doesn’t make me sit outside the changing rooms holding her purse (anymore - it only happened a couple of times), and I don’t drag her around Home Depot. If she’s going into Lane Bryant, I go across to the CD store or the shoe store and browse idly, until she’s through. We usually go grocery shopping together, and pick out the stuff we normally eat, and any other goodies that catch our eye, if we need them. (“I know they look good, hon, but we don’t need Zebra Cakes! How about a Key Lime pie instead?”)

I’m probably a better shopper than she is - I had quite a few years more experience doing it for myself than she did. I wouldn’t, however, look at every package of bacon before choosing one!

I know that state of benign acceptance of your fate.

I do have to amend my above post. I used to just stand there, staring out into space, with a little bit of drool on my chin, in the aisles of Lane Bryant or Casual Corner. Then two things happened:

First I was unemployeed, and took to watching the Fashion Harpies, Trinny and Susanna on BBC America. They told their victims not wat they wanted to hear, but what they needed to hear, and the victim often looked nicer for it. In the dim recesses of my brain I recalled that I had once been instucted to do the same for my wife.

Second, I was sentenced to stand in a clothes shop while my wife looked for maternity clothes. a strange thing happened. The clerk actually assisted my wife in picking out a new outfit. He steered her away from things that wouldn’t look good on her - things I knew wouldn’t look good, but never had the guts to tell her, because she liked the outfit - and she appriciated the advice.

I realized why I had been dragged along for all these shopping excursions. I wasn’t there as a sherpa, I was there to actually help. I had a purpose.

Unfortunately for my wife, I can still only tolerate 2-3 stores max.

She still rewards me with Ice Cream.

Mr. Pug adores to shop, but I prefer shopping by myself. This is because he turns a necessary clothes shopping trip for me into a window-shopping expedition for himself. Before I even get to my clothes shop, he has dragged me into every leather jacket, pewter flask and Mephisto shoe shop in the mall and excitedly shown me all the cool stuff he wants. By the time I get to my destination, I’m tired and cranky and he’s saying “C’mon, let’s get out of here and go home. I’ve got stuff I need to do.”

So next time I go shopping, I’m leaving the kid at home.

I am definitely the little kid when it comes to going shopping, especially if you get me into the electronic stores.

The problem is that my wife is so nice that she usually would let me get stuff if I wanted it. That means I have to be the little kid and the grown-up both :slight_smile:
Me1: I want this, can I have it?
Me2: You don’t need a 120 dollar wireless keyboard
Me1: But its REAAAALY cool! Look at it!
Me2: Yes, thats very nice, but you already have a keyboard
Me1: but…but…but…
Me2: Tell you what, we can stop for beer on the way home
Me1: Whoohoo!!

In the grocery store, my wife is cute. She reads all the of ‘cents per ounce’ on the price labels trying to save money but forgets to look at the price and size.

Wife: Look honey, this is 3 cents per ounce cheaper!
Me: Well, yeah, but its 17 dollars more and we don’t need an 86 pound can of beans…

I, too, have a shopping gauge. It starts at various levels, but when it’s drained, I rapidly slip into a foul mood. Caffeine can help, chocolate can help, and being turned loose in a bookstore can almost refuel me in some cases. But if I’m out too long, forget it. I’m going to be a mean, cranky, and cantankerous sonofabitch for the rest of the day.

Holy crap!! I need to get you together with Jurphette. Maybe you ladies can work out a way that PT and I can go on a play date. Shop date? Whatever. This is totally my style. I think it’s the frenetic browsing that drives me up the wall. Identify, Evaluate, Compare, Decide. It’s just that simple. :smiley:

In our case, the one word answer is: YES

Wait… some men may have an actual say-so in how the household funds can be spent?

Why didn’t anyone tell me?



Actually, Jurph, while I’m sure I’d enjoy a play date with Jurphette while you and Papa Tiger go shopping together, right now I’m a Shopping Widow – he’s working halfway across the country, so suddenly I have to do all the shopping. After years of sitting at home and watching delicious, economical, home-cooked meals appear on the table, I am suddenly finding myself having to brush off those long-neglected skills of housewifery that I indulged in when I was young and stupid.

What it mostly means, however, is frozen dinners. Because I’m too lazy to shop for anything else and too lazy to fix anything else.

Papa Tiger, by the way, is also that aberration: A husband who can do all my laundry, even the delicates, without ever ruining a thing. His secret? He reads the labels. Other husbands, take note: It’s really a basic skill that even you can perform. And your wife will immediately have bragging rights over all her girlfriends. “My husband can do all the laundry all by himself, and do it well!”