[QUOTE=ForumBot]
…
There’s a whole power play in the dominance hierarchy that men subscribe to. “You look like a teenager!” isn’t just a statement on how I look, but an indirect way of associating an otherwise capable adult with immaturity, and re-iterating that “older=wiser” heuristic that’s drilled into us from childhood.
That’s what bothers me the most. It’s having to act even more mature than I want to, to get the “you’re so mature for your age” perception in order to counteract this natural bias.
[/QUOTE]
This is a very real problem. When I was in my 30s, I was constantly reminding my managers that, yes, actually, I got my Ph. D. the same year that Mark did, and I’m older than Bob. Please apply the same considerations to my career track as you do to theirs. And then, I’d watch the “Oh Shit! I forgot again” expression on their faces. At one time, I had a GS equivalent rating. A young, enlisted guard at a military base commented that I was very young to be a GS-13. (Look at the birth date you idiot!)
SlowJunior is almost 16 and looks 13 and is suffering through the same crap you and I did as teenagers. His younger brothers will suffer soon, too. I still empathize.
On the other hand, I’m 46 now. I’ve lost some hair, although I still have too few gray hairs to be seen on casual inspection. So, even though I look young, I look to be in my mid to late 30s. My relatively youthful appearance no longer causes me career issues, as a guy in his 30s is eligible for most any job.
Just bide your time and enjoy the plus sides. Women 10-15 years younger than me flirt with me or eye me in the gym, and elsewhere. Probably the most gratifying business trip ever was one last year on which everyone was constantly mistaking my pretty, 25 year old coworker as my girlfriend. (One guy even try to make a buck selling us a quickie wedding.) Hell, women nearer my own age assume I’m too young to be interested in them, and now I enjoy the “Holy shit! I wonder if he’d be interested?” expression on their faces.
Of course, I’ve been married for 22 years, so it does me no good, but it is a form of revenge. Fortunately, Mrs Slow despite being 7 years older, looks even younger than me, so their are no socially awkward instances. (As a 28-34 year old teacher, she would be assigned hall duty in middle schools, because she blended in.)