oooohhhhh, me hates the V stream!
Forget the physical evidence. How can you not REMEMBER having sex? I mean, who actually gets so drunk they have no memory at all? Isn’t that a sign of significant brain damage?
It’s been so long since I’ve had sex, I’d probably notice the angels singing, the fireworks going off and Ed McMahon knocking on my door the next day.
aka the Snake’s Tongue. However, in my experience there’s been no correlation with having sex.
It’s happened to me once or twice. Blacking out that is, I’m pretty sure I didn’t have sex when I was blacked out. I seem to be ok so I don’t think there’s any lasting brain damage 
I know people who don’t remember having sex. I’ve even woken up next to somebody, and taken a good 5 seconds thinking really hard about why there’s somebody else in my bed. Of course, I remembered everything after my senses returned, but those couple of seconds were rather confusing. So yes, it’s definitely possible.
I’m pretty sure it happened at least once to me too. Or at least that what people told me happened.
Would this not happen if you’d instead spent the night killing kittens as NurseCarmen suggested he’d sooner assume?
“Morning, honey. Say, why is the dog smiling?”
I tested this theory out over the weekend, purely in the name of science, when I had the oportunity for a post-coital pee. The spilt stream lasted a fraction of a second and had I not been looking for it, would not have noticed.
Just wanted to throw that empirical evidence out there.
“…And walking bowlegged?”
If someone said “investigate your dick, and make a guess whether you had sex last night”, I’d probably be 100%.
But, it’s possible that if you just got up, you might not notice.
I mean, not every time is there dried fluids in your pubes. Not every time is there noticeable stink on your dink. Not every time is the nozzle clogged, especially if you already took the flushing-piss after the sex, which you also might not remember.
But, like I said, if I woke up and someone asked me to investigate, I’m sure I could determine it, but it’s not always so glaring that it would jump out.
And, yes, I’ve been drunk enough to completely black out portions of the night.
Yes it is possible. It has happened to me, and the only reason I know of it is because it was not in a relationship, however she wanted it to be while I didn’t. She got mad, yelled at me, and talked about “that night a few weeks ago”. She was not in the bed when I woke up. I was very drunk. I remember bringing her to my place, but thats it. I did not notice any fluids or soreness, however I doubt I was at my best (even though I have never had a problem getting an erection while drunk, just finishing said erection).
I would remember it. On the one time that I’ve blacked out, I also happened to have a sexual encounter. I don’t remember him coming over, I don’t remember us going to the bedroom, I DO remember getting a blowjob, I don’t remember him leaving, but I woke up alone with my door locked from the inside. Of course, I’d identify as straight, and this is my only gay experience, so that kind of ups the oddness factor, and accordingly the memorability, I would imagine.
As Larry Mudd said, while you’re “stand[ing] in the shower and wait[ing] to feel better or die,” overlooking the signs is entirely possible. My (now two years sober) roommate had a rather awkward relationship with a friend of a friend after they woke up half naked next to one another and neither one could remember leaving the party, much less anything that happened afterwards.
Probably. Most especially if it was any good. I’ve never been so drunk that I can’t remember anything about the end of the evening, but assume that’s the case. Besides the split pee and fluids, there’s a certain amount of wear and tear you get on your dong from use. Other signs: nail marks, bite marks, pulled hair, stains on the sheets, used condoms and wrappers, knocked over furniture, unusual position of bed or mattress that has shifted from heavy use. Plus, there’s always that one piece of clothing you can’t find until you actually clean up the room.
If you read this aloud in Winston Churchill’s voice, it’s the best thing ever.
Whenever I’m unsure whether I had sex, I just look out my window. If a great big flock of pigs comes flying past, then maybe I did get lucky. If not, no chance.
Is blacking out from excess drinking really that bad?
I had a regimental dinner a couple of weeks ago, so was all dressed up in kilt, charlie jacket and all that malarkay. There was a seemingly endless supply of free booze, and I took full advantage of it.
I can’t remember anything past the dinner, no matter how much I try, I just remember waking up in the bed of a girl who I’m casually seeing on the other side of the city, and I’d only got jeans and a t-shirt with me. We’d not had sex that night because I’m not at my most charming to a sober-er person when I’m smashed. When I got back to mine, I found I’d neatly hung up all my smart gear, which was a relief 'cause it was someone elses! I assumed I’d got too drunk and bailed out early, but when I spoke to my friends, one of them told me “I was on form, and that he’d walked in on me and a certain girl getting down to it in one of the unused rooms.”
An awkward conversation with her verified this, and I found out I’d had sex with no recollection of it whatsoever. Bluffed my way through the conversation so she didn’t cotton on to my ignorance of it, that would have been bad. Shocked at my lack of memory, but then again I can’t remember going home and getting changed and somehow making a five mile journey across the city.
So I didn’t notice I’d had sex, but it took an amount of alcohol that should have affected my ability to do so in the first place. Dont know what happened.