Sounds like the movies Trains, Planes and Automobiles and Uncle Buck, but with no happy endings or any redeeming qualities.
Dooku, I am sorry you had to endure this at all, much less at the holidays, and I give you major props for keeping your cool.
I wish you and your family very happy rest of the holidays!
Quasi
Oh, come on. Del Griffith was a slob, but never consciously rude or deliberately hurtful. And Uncle Buck was a gentle soul underneath a crude exterior. Dooku’s brother sounds more like…well, to use another SW reference, Jabba the Hut.
You let him live?
Not Jabba the Hutt. Pizza the Hut. Complete with farty noises and dripping cheese-and-pepperoni.
I’m sorry, but your bro sounds like a funk-steeped gelatinous pile of retarded. How is it that he has managed to hold on to the cusp of puberty for 40 years? Does he actually have a job? A wife? (Og forbid) Is his own home a place where garbage goes to die after a few beers and a game of Slap the Rodent? Does he treat everyone this way, or just relatives? 'Cos day-um. Blood or no, if a relative like that came to stay he’d be out on his ignorant ass just as fast as I could find a hazmat suit.
For this alone, I may have killed him.
The rest I simply do not understand. The mere fact that you are related to someone is not a good enough reason to associate with them.
I’m suddenly feeling kind of grateful that
but the Bros are mostly OK, except for occasional attacks of hormonal stupidity.
You sort of received a compliment today, though: from the people who realized there was NO WAY you could be that dumb 
not even under the influence.
Merry Brother-less Christmas, Dooku!
This isn’t the one you were about to buy knives for, is it? I don’t know if I’d trust this guy with anything more dangerous than string…
Hey - this guy sounds like he’s from St. Louis or something! 
With every breath, especially around the Christmas season, I give thanks for a drama-free family.
However, all my friends’ families are insane, so Dooku, believe me, I sympathize. There’s no need whatsoever to continue dealing with that sort of outrageous behaviour, and you really can stop humouring it.
I thought this was worth repeating: not a “sort of” compliment, but a definite compliment. That’s every Doper’s worst nightmare, that some immature, giggling family member or erstwhile “friend” will think it’s funny to post assorted crap under your nick. And you survived, you didn’t wake up in the morning to be greeted by a host of inexplicable “Fuck you, Dooku” Pit threads, or, worse, “You do not have permission to access this page”, because you’d paid enough dues that folks knew it couldn’t possibly be you. So, WTG! 
And, if he were MY brother-in-law, he’d have been at the airport about the time he got to “drove my car without permission”. Because, see, I’d have known that the visit was only going to go downhill from there, and life’s too short to put up with that kind of crap, “hey, it’s Christmas…” notwithstanding. Kudos to Mrs. Dooku if she similarly decides to put her foot down from here on in.
Wow, you’ve got a tough hide. I would have called the cops after the stolen car part.
If my brother did any two of those things to me while a guest, that’d be enough to earn him a lifetime ban from my house. You must have an unending well of patience to have suffered that and not told him exactly what you think. The other people in this thread are right; you don’t have to take that kind of shit from anybody, relative or not. I don’t know how your relationship is otherwise, but I’d suggest your brother should prove to you why you should ever trust him again, before you entertain the notion of ever doing it again.
I hope the rest of your holidays are much more pleasant!
Well, you gave him the benefit of doubt. He kindly removed all doubt. Now you can go ahead and disown him without any guilt. And, you can give a full report to your siblings so they can too.
I missed it—did “Dooku” admit to liking sex with sheep?
Jebus. And if it’s the bar I believe it is, it’d be a bad idea to piss off the staff & regulars.
Amen, sister! Dooku, I feel your pain - I’m the youngest in a large family and was used to taking crap from all my siblings from the time I could crawl. Two years ago I decided enough was enough and calmly told **one ** of them that I don’t have any respect for someone who refuses to respect me… and they **ALL ** cut me off. I have had almost no contact with any of my siblings in the last two years.
Sound like a sob story? Hell no. Been the best two years of my life! I guess in my case they were pretty heavy… and it sounds like your bro is heavier than you want to admit, too.
If you really care for him, do him the favor of teaching him a lesson. He thinks he can get away with this kind of behavior, and that’s the reason he’s become this way. Give him a good hard spanking, he’ll thank you for it later. Or maybe he won’t, but is that really a big loss?
Congratulations !
…on being well rid of him before Christmas. Put on some carols and let’s all sing!
Congratulations !
…on being an ocean of patience. As you can see from the responses here, few people would be as understanding as you have been. And I, for one, admire you for it.
Congratulations !
…on being righteously angry and never once straying into venom, hatred or loathing. No name calling, dredging up the past, or wishes of violence against person. My esteem grows.
But mostly congratulations on bringing lovingkindness to the world. You strike me as a person with real character. I will wish for you Happy Christmas !
I *knew *it wasn’t you.
I felt a little Junior Modish, but it seemed worth it to make sure no one actually responded to his Administrator hacking question.
String? Are you kidding? I’d trust him with 2 inches of Scotch tape, maybe.
Heh. No, that’s the brother he’s visiting right now. I’d love to see him try and dirty up his kitchen.
I’ve been trying to piece together why he chose to act this way. I think he was regressing back to the days when he used to give me shit as the only one younger than him, so he deliberately was trying to fuck with me. He’s always had this “black sheep” middle child thing about him where he had to cause trouble and be rude.
Then I thought - you know what? Fuck that. There’s no excuse whatsoever for that behavior. I’ve made old friends visiting leave my house just for smoking in it. And let’s put it this way: had my cats gotten lost I wouldn’t have been responsible for my rage-induced behavior.
I’m just going to wait patiently for him to try this same shtick on my other brothers and hear what happens. If there’s anything new to report I’ll update the thread.
Happy Holidays!!
Aw, shucks. ::kicks dirt:: I guess I didn’t realize amidst all this that you all didn’t believe that it could be me making asinine posts. I will definitely take that as a compliment - that takes a little bit of the sting out of the whole situation. Damn, do I feel better now. Thanks for all the kind words, folks!