I AM NOT SOFTLY SPOKEN. IT IS YOU THAT IS DEAF!!
Incedentally, I don’t like shouting. It feels like I am being hostile when I shout. I don’t intend to be hostile.
I got mind-numbingly bored at q31. Sorry.
Huh?
WTF?
I had two threads open. That last comment was meant for a different one. I didn’t even intend to post this thread!. I at LEAST wanted to re-word it. Oh well. it’s POSTED now. You fool Lobsang.
What’s that you said, son? Speak up, stop mumbling.
Ah, the older folks and their foibles. My mom is heading down the same path - “You guys all talk so quietly.” Mom, we’re not talking quietly. And neither are you. Please, go get your ears checked. Get a hearing aid.
You inconsiderate arse.
Without wishing ill on anyone, wouldn’t it be funny if we could fast-forward a generation or two, and see how well you are doing in your infirmity?
My gran doesn’t hear too well now, and has tried a variety of hearing aids. I am very keen that she starts using one, but for her the disadvantages of each one are such that she would prefer not to use it - background noises increased, tinitus, they feel uncomfortable.
It may seem like a black and white issue to you, but only from your selfish and arrogant viewpoint. You shouldn’t be treating anyone, much less family, to this sort of attitude.
As a hearing impaired person, let me give you some ‘softly spoken’ advice.
You do NOT need to shout at your Grandpa if you garner his attention, and speak directly towards him.
When you are talking to your Grandpa, try to enunciate your words clearly so that he may lipread. He may not have learned to lipread, but my bet is that he has been doing it unconciously for years anyway. Don’t ‘affect’ it though. Just talk normally.
Yelling at someone actually makes the diction LESS clear. It is better that you speak in a normal tone of voice. Do NOT under any circumstances hide your mouth behind your hand. Maintain eye contact, and don’t turn your head away…your facial expressions are a key to language comprehension.
AND STOP GETTING SHITTY WITH YOUR GRANDPA…THAT’S WHY HEARING-IMPAIRED PEOPLE TEND TO ISOLATE THEMSELVES, BECAUSE THEY REALIZE THAT IT PISSES OTHER PEOPLE OFF TO HAVE TO MAKE AN ‘EFFORT’ TO TALK TO THEM.
That was interesting, kambuckta, because from the other side of the issue, I’m a very soft-spoken person, and I’ve unconsciously been doing all those things for years in the hopes of getting people to stop making me repeat everything I say. Let me just air my peeve here - people who automatically ask me to repeat without making any effort to figure out what I just said. After 37 years of this, I can tell when someone was able to hear me and is just saying “What did you say?” out of habit. Oh, by the way, this doesn’t include hearing-impaired people - these people are listening-impaired.
And to a certain SO who shall remain nameless:
I can hear everybody else in my world just fine. But if I’m standing in front of a running dishwasher, and you’re around the corner and two rooms away, I CAN’T HEAR YOU. I’m not getting hard of hearing; you just don’t understand basic room acoustics, which is surprising in a stereophile!
And to another SO who will remain nameless,
I do have a bit of a hearing deficit. You need to meet me half-way on stuff. Like don’t talk to me from the next room when there is a blaring tv and a running bathtub between us. And speak the fuck. Up.
I can sympathise–and I’m not soft-spoken by any measure. With one of my listening-impaired (NOT hearing-impaired) family members, everything I say is automatically met with “what?”
I’m so fucking sick of having to saying everything twice, I’ve developed a new tactic. First I mutter an incomprehensible sentence (“mhmwmm-mnhoh”) or a complete non sequitur (“the cat’s breath smells like cat food”), wait for the inevitable “what?”, THEN I say what I really intended. Saves me repeating myself at least.
I wouldn’t do this to a hearing-impaired person, however.
Aw come on people!. I don’t actually treat people like this!! You should know how the pit works by now. It’s where people say the things they wish they could say in person.
I understand that old people’s ears are not what they used to be, and I sympathise. It is my grandpa’s refusal to believe the problem lies with him, and the insulting way he tells me I mumble and speak too quietly that I Pit NOT his hearing abilities! I wouldn’t have a problem if he said “I’m old and my hearing is not good. Can you speak up”. But he says things like “Stop mumbling boy! you mumble too much. and you speak too quietly!” then he almost invariably attacks my mum for not ‘bringing us up right’.
So I thin I AM considerate for never actually confronting him with this. And I DO respect and sympathise with the reduction in hearing ability of old people. OK?
Oh and remember … I wasn’t actually going to post it. If I intended to post it I would have explained that my grandpa makes me feel inadequate and such…
I am somehow reminded of a conversation I once had with my ex-girfriend:
Her: (Mutters something incomprehensible)
Me: Huh?
Her: (Acting exasperated, mutters it again)
Me: I didn’t hear you. Can you speak up?
Her: You are going deaf!
Me: My hearing is just fine, thanks.
Her: No, you’re going deaf. It’s all that loud rock music you listen to.
Me: I’ll get it.
Her: Get what?
Me: The phone.
Her: I didn’t hear the phone ring.
Me: (going into next room, returnng with phone) It’s for you.
Good times.
My mom does this, and she’s not that damn old.
Me: (says something in a normal voice)
Mom: Huh?
Me: (repeats it, louder)
Mom: You mumble. Quit mumbling.
Me: (bellows it)
Mom: Well! You don’t need to YELL!
Yea, to her I mumble. To everyone else, I’m a big loudmouth…
My sister does mumble. To herself. And then blows a gasket when you ask her to repeat. Because she might have been talking to you, and if she was, she’ll blow a gasket anyway if you don’t respond. I call it her “mumble-scream” routine.
Scenario: She’s watching a video; I’m making cookies. Movie’s winding up; first batch of cookies is cooling.
Her: [mumble]
Me: [thinking she wants a cookie] Whad’ja say?
Her: I SAID HE’S JUST THROWN AWAY HIS ENTIRE CAREER! JESUS CHRIST I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS INTERRUPT ME!
Scenario 2: I’m watching baseball; she comes in from the market.
Me: Hey, wassup.
Her: Mumble mumble mumble what’s going on.
Me: It’s 3-2 Cubs. [Player] almost had a run but they tagged him out before he got—
Her: I WASN’T ASKING ABOUT THE GOD DAMN GAME! JESUS CHRIST WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WAS INTERESTED I HATE BASEBALL! I SAID I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON ABOUT DINNER!
Scenario 3: We’re moving stuff from my parents’ house to storage.
Her: [mumble]
Me: [thinking she’s telling me where to leave the boxes prior to loading them in her car] What?
Her: JESUS CHRIST I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU…
Well, you get the idea.
Oh, and tdn, your scenario reminds me of the joke about the elderly man who thinks his wife is losing her hearing. So he decides to test her.
Wife is in the kitchen, at the back of the house. Husband stands at the far end of the living room. “Rose, can you hear me?”
No answer.
Middle of the living room. “Rose, can you hear me?”
No answer.
Kitchen doorway. “Rose, can you hear me?”
“For the third time, yes!”
That’s funny as hell! Sounds like something out of a sitcom.