I’m since created my own country; The Kaplan Republic.
Now, IIRC I saw somewhere that I could declare war on the United States of America and quickly surrender before they would presue (if they’d bother to) action against us. After doing this I would be able to petition for foreign aid. And then my wallet would be more than plentiful.
Anyone got a hunch aboot this stuff?
This idea’s been around for a long while, and it’s actually the plot of a hilarious book titled “The Mouse That Roared,” by Leonard Wibberley. In short, it’s about a tiny country called the Grand Duchy of Fenwick. They have only one export – wine – and need to come up with money quick. After discarding the idea of forming a phony communist party to scare up some U.S. funds (these were Cold War days) as cowardly, they instead declare war on the States. It’s a non-war, of course, and the Duchy receives their massive aid; (SPOILER!) the end result is that the Grand Duchy of Fenwick becomes the most powerful nation on earth.
I highly recommend it, it’s a funny and entertaining read! (and I think they even made a movie out of it?)
that is funny!!!
CHThere was a joke when the Baltic countries gained their independence that Estiona planned to declare war on Sweden. 
d12, your idea is basically sound, and I don’t want to discourage you, but…don’t think the US won’t pursue action against you. You have no air defense to speak of, and the pilots need their proficiency flight time anyway. But don’t mind them, they’ll just be testing some new ordnance ON YOUR ASS!
So dig a deep hole, stock up on water and jerky, and get ready for quite a few weeks of shelter living. Don’t rely on cable TV, it’s always their first target. I suggest you lay in some DVDs for entertainment, minimally Showgirls and Patton are the two films no lunatic dictator can be without.
May as well start grantwriting while you’re down there. Don’t forget plenty of big envelops and postage. Some possible money sources:
[list=1]
[li]The US Army - many of your citizens can find menial employment with the occupation forces. [/li][li]The CIA. Rat out your neighbors, vote faithfully the US line at the UN, and receive a comfortable annuity.[/li][li]The EPA. Superfund waste site cleanup. Make this one your first one out the door.[/li][li]US Agriculture Department. Ideally, you can get a contract NOT to grow certain crops.[/li][li]The US DEA. Let them pick among the craters for any remaining coca plants.[/li][li]The US pharmaceutical industry. Allways looking for test subject populations.[/li][li]Toy makers world wide. Perhaps Kaplan Evil Action Figures? The point being, you need to diversify.[/li][li]Work a deal with the Catholic church. Cooperate with their “save the souls of Kaplan’s Pagan babies” campaign for a cut off the top. [/li][li]Hollywood. Don’t even TRY to guess what half-baked Kaplan-related scripts will come out, just go with whoever can hand you a certified check. Even your rubble will look better after their set people dress it up. [/li][/list=1]
Good luck! I’ll look for you on the Learning Channel!
It’s been done, in 1982 when the US Border Patrol set up a roadblock inside our borders at the Last Chance Saloon on US1 to the Florida Keys. They celebrate the independece of the Conch Republic each year, and this is the big party weekend.
After U.S. Customs built a border patroll booth on the bridge between Key West and mainland Florida in the early 80s, some people on the Key decided to declare their independence from the U.S. and call the Key the Conch Republic (after the conch shell). They then declared war on the U.S. and immediately surrendered, after which they applied for several billion in foreign aid.
Apparently, they’re still waiting for the cash to arrive.
Considering Key West actually has a somewhat sizable population, my guess is that Kaplan is going to be waiting even longer.
By the way, the Conch Republic is still in existence (although they claim to be a ‘protectorate’ of the U.S.). Its ruling Prime Minister lives in a trailer park on the key and issues passports to anyone willing to bone up the cash. Apparently some people have successfully used said passports for international travel.
You gotta love the Conchers. Their motto is ‘We Seceeded Where Others Failed’ and their independence day celebration involves getting extremely, and publically, intoxicated. My kind of country!