Recently I was visiting a lady friend, whom I had been dating, when the subject of dinner came up. She said, “Well I can throw a couple t-bones in the microwave”. Of course, being the nonthinking, male, beer swilling carnivore I am, I said “are you nuts?, where’s the grill?”(forgetting I just forfeited any chance of wild sex) Well, before she kicked me out, she said they were good that way. I have never heard of raw beef cooked in a microwave. Can it be done? Is there a way to get a charred kind of texture? I’ll take my nasty grill any day.
Klaatu Verata Nic(cough). There, I said the words! Now I’m taking the book!
No, uh, don’t know about your lady but I’d rather throw a poodle in the microwave than steak. Unless they were pre-grilled or something and she was just going to heat them up. DEAR GOD! I just thought that she might be one of those people that those “one step” brownie things were made for. Like, how lazy can you fucking be? Oh, yeah, stay on point… um, nope, I can’t think of any meat I would cook in the microwave. I’ll defrost it or reheat it but not cook it in there. Now, as for the poodle… 
Best!
Byz
Klaatu (boradas niktu)
Your lady friend is a menace to society.
A microwaved steak? Tried it once when the wife was out of town for a few days.
Words fail me.
Stop telling God what to do.
Hell, even heating up an already cooked steak
in the microwave makes it tougher than a sack of concrete.
A poodle…I Wonder if those poofy hairballs, or the pink ribbons on the ears would just flame up, or…never mind…
Okay, I won’t!
My mother in law bought me a “microwave grill” for my birthday this year. I never took it out of the box to try it, and it seems to have “disappeared” (I hate it when that happens)
Could be your ladyfriend had one of these contraptions. Still sounds gross to me!
Zette
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
Not enough and you’re gonna die…
Click here for some GOOD news for a change Zettecity
Microwaving sirloin is an abomination unto God.
Yer pal,
Satan
So, Brian, does that mean you like it?
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
I like my meat hot and juicy… not so sure that is a capability of a microwave…at least I haven’t experienced it yet anyways. I am always willing to try anything once tho.
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
Guys, guys…it’s “Klaatu barada nikto.”
DON’T mess that up. Or Gort will rip the living shit outta you.
I’m with the majority on THIS question, however. If you have a good piece of beefsteak and no grill, you should pan-broil it in a VERY hot, salted, cast-iron skillet. Not only one of the best dinners, but one of the simplest and quickest. Jesus, it only takes a couple of minutes on each side…a microwave wouldn’t exactly save you any time anyhow.
Uke
Oh Lord I’m shivering at the thought… ruin a piece of AWESOME Alberta Beef in a microwave…:::faints:::
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the Best MicroWave in the World. I own it, and lemme tell ya: it can GRILL a steak better than anyone can bake it
http://www.sharp.co.uk/products/scripts/productdisplay.asp?ProdID=4
It’s a combi oven though. A normal microwave could NEVER do that. It is also the only microwave known to man that sports a “rotisserie”, as the French say. Means you can turn-grill a chicken in it
Coldfire
“You know how complex women are”
- Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
I cook red meat in the microwave all the time. Easy. Put on a plate put some paper on the top, cook at least 10 minutes.
if you want a crispy top, fry or broil it after that.
Is anyone else reminded of that scene in APOCOLYPSE NOW where the “Chef” character is talking about his short stint in the U.S. Army Kitchen Corps?
Chef, a New Orleans native trained as a professional cook, says something like “They handed us the most beautiful steaks I’d ever seen…porterhouse, three inches thick, prime, aged, and marbled with fat…then they showed us these HUGE kettles of boiling water…we had to throw those steaks in the pots and boil 'em. That’s when I knew I couldn’t be an Army cook.”
Anybody who’d cook a steak worthy of the name in a microwave should be sentenced to life without parole as a vegetarian!
BTW, have you seen what a microwave does to a worm? Impressive!
VB
TANSTAAFL!
I dunno, I could be wrong, but I’d imagine that microwaved steak would sorta taste like a rubber ball.
I have an indoor grill. I grill everything. (I just moved to a new place that has no spot for me to put my outdoor grill). It’s cute - it’s like a little electric hibachi. It does a pretty decent job. It will never replace a real grill - but in a steak emergency, it’ll do.
(moaning, cursing, wincing)–>
Steak in a microwave?! No, no, never, not any kind of microwave, even w/ nifty attachments. (BTW, Zette, I got one of those ribbed “grill” things for the micro as a gift; the only thing it’s useful for is nuking bacon in a hurry.)
UkeIke is right; it is faster, easier and infinitely more delicious to quick sear it in a hot cast iron skillet. Just don’t try to flip it over immediately, and it won’t stick. (I don’t even use the salt coating in the pan.) Just leave it alone until it forms a slight crust, then flip it.
The whole shebang takes about 5 minutes, and it’s delicious. Microwaves turn any meat into tough, rubbery messes.
Muttering about pearls and swine,
Veb
that woman deserves to be alone…