I’ve had long hair for the vast majority of my life, very long (See Stoid On TV a long time ago with her hair looking very pretty in hopes it would distract from the startling size of her ass) But when the thought first came to me last night “I should just shave it off” every cell in my body vibrated with YES!! Yes! Yes!
I did not have the slightest hesitation, quite the opposite; I couldn’t get it done fast enough. I cannot remember anything being so clearly, irrefutably correct for me to do, so in another first, I did it without breathing a word to a single soul. Which is almost beyond belief, seeing as how I have to hash out every possible angle of what to have for breakfast.
I had planned to do it myself, but ended up at a barbershop 4 blocks away - I am a familiar figure to the barbers because I bike past them sitting outside all the time with my dog, and we nod, but this was the first time we’d really spoken.
It was without question the most thrilling and satisfying tonsorial experience of my entire life. I doubt I will ever let it grow out again.
It had and has nothing much to do with my appearance being attractive or not attractive and changing my hair to change my degree of attractiveness. In fact I approached it pretty convinced that it would not be particularly flattering at all on my old fat face. I sent my sister just a photo of my cut hair itself without telling her what I had done, and she asked me who did I kill? I knew immediately: the person whose skin I stopped fitting into quite a long time ago. I had been like a snake whose skin has separated, but who never sheds it, instead trying to fit in what it will never fit into again.
The story my appearance is telling now is the true one - I am myself again, and that is what matters to me. I am liberated. It is excellent.
(Not to mention the fact that it is crazy cool and comfortable, and I’ve just been given back tons of time and money to spend on far more interesting things than my stupid hair…although I think I might start to play a little, now that anything I do can be gone in a month. Maybe I’ll dye it purple or shave a peace sign into it…)
Now here’s the kicker: everyone seems to love it. In fact, one of the barbers, 20 years my junior, asked for my number, something that has not happened in more than 5 years. I consider that the little bow the universe tied on it telling me that of course I did exactly the right thing.