Well, in the bed you left unslept in of course. After all, it was already paid for…
I am sick of bigger packaging and less quantity of product! No, it is not due to “settling” the bag is half full of potato chips you assholes!
For the Love Of Og, please stop bitching about your 401k being down 30%! Are you incapable of realizing every fucking person at the table is in the same boat you are? We’re all sweating over whether or not we’ll be employed next week, have any money to retire on ever, and all the other things that are going wrong right now. I’m not insisting we only talk about puppies and rainbows, but the near-constant harping on every economic downturn is not helping!
Update - employed again! Wahoo!!!
That said, now I just want my old employer to stop emailing me with questions. Piss off - you dumped me, if you want my help you can pay for it assholes.
Threads about BOOKS belong in the Cafe Society
Threads about MOVIES belong in the Cafe Society
Threads about SONGS belong in the Cafe Society
Threads about BOOK CHARACTERS belong in the Cafe Society
Threads about MOVIE QUOTES or CHARACTERS belong in the Cafe Society
Threads about SONG LYRICS belong in the Cafe Society
With a forum description like: "Our salon for art, drama, literature, movies, music, comics, cuisine – all the artistic disciplines – if it’s about creativity, entertainment, or leisure, it goes here" why the hell do so many of these threads by people who’ve been around a while still end up in IMHO and MPSIMS? Huh?
Fuck off, rhinovirus. Get the hell out of my respiratory system. I do not have the time nor the inclination to spend a week slogging around all tired and groggy and stuffy and runny and coughy and sneezy.
Fucking figures, go all winter without so much as the sniffles and at the first hint of warm weather my immune system goes on vacation.
I pit myself for buying the wrong trash bags, again.
Memo to the makers of Hefty bags: “Easy Flaps” are not easy. Easy would be just a plain old regular bag with a tie. Even better is a drawstring.
Dear Fire Warden or Marshall or whatever your title is:
Thank you for the fire drill and the valuable information I derived from it. I now know where the fire extinguishers are, where the fire doors are, and what number to call if there is a fire.
YOU CAN TURN OFF THE FUCKING STROBE LIGHTS NOW. My neurologist will corroborate this request.
On my way to work, there is a bank of doors to exit the train station. See if you can guess which door is the handicapped (automatic) door based on the schematic below (an overhead view, where each ® represents a commuter):
®®®®®®®®
®®®®®®®
®®®®®®
®®®®®
®®®®
®®®
®®
®
®
[-®-][----][----][----][----][----]
®
®
®®
®®®
®®®®
®®®®®
®®®®®®
®®®®®®®
®®®®®®®®
USE ALL THE DOORS YOU FUCKING SHEEP!
Hey, older sister. If you’re going to sign up for a Facebook account, lurk for a while and learn how to use it. My “wall” is not there for you to send messages to me that one would ordinarily use an email account for. I don’t need every fucking “friend” I have on Facebook knowing my/our personal business. You look like a fool. Cut it out.
The president sucks! I hate him…
…for picking Clemson to beat Michigan. Fuck you, Obama! Go Blue!
I remember this from my commuting days; everybody lined up and crowding to get through one door, with people actually walking past the other doors and pushing into the crowd near it. Not being a sheep, of course, I would walk over to one of the unused doors, pull it open, and walk out. Occasionally someone would follow me out, but generally I would glance back and see the crowd still milling around the one door.
CNN, why are you telling me anything about Charles Manson if you’re not telling me that he’s dead?
The computer lab. It’s been two weeks and I’m still twisted up over this, so as a bonus, myself for not being able to let things slide anymore.
LOUD conversation in a campus lab, two days after the school had a “consortium” to brainstorm ways to make women feel more welcome here:
<some discussion about whether the girl from Mythbusters is hot>
<some discussion about whether the girl from Mythbusters is dumb>
<some generically tasteless stuff about photos of unrelated women in lingerie>
“It says she’s a Ph.D in physics.”
“No way, where is she keeping her brains? Down there?” <indicating her bra>
<raucous laughter>
Fortunately, my project team understood when I told them I needed to relocate to a different lab. It cost us about an hour in productivity to get everything set up in the next room, and for me to be able to concentrate on work again.
I recognized one of the people in the loud and obnoxious team, which means that they are also graduate students, a year ahead of me in the program, making them 22 at a minimum. When are they officially old enough to know better and how can I go into hibernation until then? 
Where are all these little bugs comng from and why are they always flying in front of my damned monitor?
Seriously go to fucking sleep, i ran 5 miles Thursday and 6 Friday so why am I not tired at all. This shit would make sense if I did meth or something. Normally I don’t drink, but after work I think I will get a nice bottle of scotch and hopefully passout.
Dread locks look stupid on white folks.
I love the mp3 player but i hate using earbuds, and i always lose the little fluffy covers on them.
My husband has been threatening for weeks to take away his teenage son’s car. Last night (after the boy was over two hours late getting home), he did it. He gave it back this morning.
Today at lunch, he’s telling me, “Now he knows I’m serious about taking away his car!”
This is just a chapter in the day to day ridiculousness. Truthfully, I think he is afraid to put his foot down. Also, it would be too inconvenient to drive the kid to work.
There’s lots more, but this little incident is the one that’s making me bang my head on the desk.
Frugal Families - an article in our local fishwrap - the gist of it being:
“Beth Rogers, a stay at home housewife in Arkansas, has cancelled her weekly housekeeping service and is doing her own housework due to the bad economy. She is also cooking at home instead of the family eating out all the time… Her husband Stanley has cancelled the lawn care contract for the same reason and is now mowing his own lawn. Oh, and she told him to iron his own shirts instead of sending them to the cleaners. Total savings: $10,000 a year!”
I am speechless.
(In this spirit of frugality, I think I am going to call my contractor and tell him when the men come to install faucets and such in the bathroom, I am going to go with gold plated instead of the solid gold faucets and such I originally picked out! Think of the money I’ll save!)
I just know these ninnies are the same ones who live in McMansions, and when they are downsized at their overpaid jobs, Oprah comes and takes them shopping at Walmart and Costco, and they are just ASTOUNDED at how the poor people live on their tiny salaries.
The good news, the article goes on to stress, is that Proctor & Gamble stand to make a big profit this spring because - people are at home a lot more and notice the dirt and grime in their houses! Unemployed? Well, you have a lot more free time to clean house now!