I suppose the boy might claim the weed was for his mom, who probably needs the pain killer and appetite enhancement. Kid’s a hero, really.
On to my own rant – O my coworkers, please join the modern world. You are using a word processor of some kind. ll for 11 is not useful or necessary. Please stop. You’re fucking up my searches and scripts.
Two useful words that appear to have escaped the notice of virtually every freakin’ person on the Internet: tenet and led.
If someone’s faith has “tenants”, I hope he or she is charging them a good rent. The word is tenet: “that which is held” [as true]. A tenant is someone holding [a dwelling place that is someone else’s property, as renter or lessor]. It’s the precise same difference as fucking and being fucked: present active and past passive participles. Get it straight!
And the past tense of “to lead” has three letters. “Lead” pronounced /lehd/ means one thing and one thing only: the 82nd element. There should be a Light Emitting Diode going off in your head whenever you try to spell “led” as “lead.”
Knock it off. Or I’ll drop a nucular bomb on you! 
I hate led/lead because it makes no sense to me that they sound the same. If read can sound like both “reed” and “red” why can’t “lead” sound the same as both too, instead of having “lead” and “lead” have the same spelling but different sounds? But no, instead the ones that sound the same are spelled differently!!
English should have been more picky when mugging other languages.
God damn it.
That could have been Pitt’s first appearance in the Final Four.
Ever.
They were this. fucking. close.
Shit.
::stumbles off, tripping over Iron City cans::
Dear Hilton Security:
When you do a safety check on someone you also have to confirm that you did one and not be glib about it or else I have to call the police and file a missing persons report and show up with the cops like before.
Dear Husband:
After calling all the jails and police stations to see how come you didnt show up when you said you were leaving and would be home in 3 hours; I thought you were in an accident or worse. But your stink ass I suspect is still in that hotel. When you get home not only are you going to produce phone records, you’re going to go up the Hilton chain of command with your super duper platinum status and find out how a saftey check does not confirm that the person is okay or even there and then I’m going to leave and go to my parents for some space because obviously you want to pretend you’re single and drink merrily. Alcholism is doing the slow death to my marriage its too bad you love it more than me. Ironic thing is my wedding anniversary is today and I’ll be alone as usual. Fuck you or fuck me we’re both getting screwed living with a wolf in sheeps clothing.
Good luck to you, cherry.
Oh dear god, this fucking cold! My dad has been hacking and coughing and sneezing all over the place (without tissues, natch!) and your’s truly caught it. I want to cut my head off, it hurts so fucking bad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you! They haven’t listened to me, maybe they’ll listen to you.