I’d just like to point out, mine’s in my hand when I get up there, and I swipe it as soon as she rings up the first item. And this is only when I go through a cashier…whenever I can I used the automated checkouts. (Why doesn’t Hannaford have these yet?)
Whoa, major snerk.
OK, that I can understand.
I pull out my credit card and any store loyalty cards as soon as I get in line, and I can’t imagine why everyone doesn’t do the same with their preferred method of payment.
Hello, Mr. Freud!
Things that have been bothering me (especially since I quit smoking):
Close Talkers, Close Walkers, and Idiots Who Have No Concept of “Personal Space” - Yes, I’m aware this has its own thread floating around MPSIMS somewhere, but I’m too lazy to search for it. I recently told someone about the little game I play where I try to make it through my entire work day without being touched by someone else. I’ve never even managed to get through my morning commute, much less the work day. What the fuck is it with people who have no problem hanging out three inches from your face? Or those people who lean up against you on the subway and give you an attitude like “Hey, I feel people up on the subway all the time and no one ever complains about it.” Or those little 5’2" chicks on the sidewalk who charge right at you while they’re talking on their cell phone, collide with your belt buckle, and then make like it’s your fault. What the FUCK?
Impatient Motherfuckers on the Phone - What the fuck is so difficult to understand about “He’s on vacation and he didn’t bring a cell phone with him.”? No, short of flying to Europe and conducting a bar-to-bar search, I haven’t the faintest clue how I could reach him in an “emergency.” Also, I’m reasonably certain that “catching up” isn’t something you typically give out an emergency contact number for, so even if I did have one, you wouldn’t get it. I’m also reasonably certain that the reason he didn’t take his cell phone with him on vacation is so that he wouldn’t be constantly bothered by impatient motherfuckers like you.
Shitty Mobile Service - My phone has two bars in some areas, I place a call and then both bars immediately disappear. What the fuck is that, Sprint? And is it too much to ask to have a phone that works in my own residence? Everybody else’s phone works here.
People Who Leave Coffee Grinds in the Coffee Machine - For, like, 6 months. And then you open the little basket on the coffee machine because you’re all psyched to make a pot and these green, shitty mold spores go all “POOF!” in your face and you fall to the ground gagging and hoping to Og that there’s not some alien toadstool growing in your nasal passages. Yeah. That sucks.
That is all. For now.
Okay, there’s no excuse for it, and if I have ever gotten blood on anything I’ve cleaned it up…but…
the first week of learning to use Instead cups, it looked like I had committed mass murder in my home bathroom. I got better at it, but I did have one mishap at work that I cleaned up thoroughly (even getting our Clorox bleach from the office to take into the communal bathroom to clean up).
So I can understand how it might happen.
Mini-rants?
People who can’t let me finish the last TWO SECONDS of my fucking greeting when I pick up the phone at work, and are intent on cutting me off with “Is Jessica there?” as if the fate of the world depends on getting Jessica at THAT EXACT MOMENT.
I’ve started pausing for 2-3 seconds when they do that. Makes it more fun.
To our idiotic city planners: Hey, dillweeds? If you’re doing construction on a main thruway in town and you completely shut DOWN that part of the thruway, wouldn’t it make more goddamn sense to FINISH that construction, rather than move to the NEXT busy intersection (which also happens to be another way to get the same place you’d get with the first thruway), and back up traffic for twenty minutes each way?? We don’t HAVE another choice - we’re stuck going this way now, the least you could do is not back up traffic in every direction! Finish what you’ve started, THEN move onto the next fucking project!
FUCKING AOL WHO WILL NOT TAKE US OFF OF THEIR MOTHERFUCKING MARKETING LIST AND HAVE CALLED NO LESS THAN FOUR FUCKING TIMES A DAY IN THE PAST WEEK! I just got ANOTHER call from them, after my calling them TWICE yesterday and once the day before to get them to remove us from their fucking marketing list! We’ve had constant hang-ups on our answering machine of the operator, saying ‘this call did not go through’, and it’s ALWAYS AMERICA ONLINE. I regret the day I ever took the fucking six month free trial from Dell so that I could make it easier for my older family to email me.
E.
Well, I first started noticing this in high school. I doubt that many people were using cups in high school 
In college? Maybe. But still, this is just as bad as finding a bloody pad or tampon laying around the floor, toiletpaper holder, ceiling (no seriously, I saw that once too… don’t ask me to explain how it was staying up there, because I have no idea).
That’s an image I really didn’t want.
I’m going to have to check the ceilings every time I go into a public bathroom now.
:smack:
E.
Ahhh! Makes perfect sense! And my latest:
Mysterious callers whose only apparent mission is to find out whether my phone works:
Yeah, you know who you are! For two weeks now, my caller ID indicates that you’ve been calling me at least twice per day, but you never leave a message. This evening, I finally lost patience and actually answered the call. (Normally, if it IDs as “Private Number,” I don’t answer.) So, two ringy-dingies, I say hello, and you hang up? WTF?
You sure it’s not AOL?
E.
Impatient Motherfuckers At The Airport (IMATAs) are even more fun. I was at San Diego airport, trying to get back to Oakland, and many of the flights were delayed due to weather conditions. It was raining really hard outside, so that was totally understandable. One IMATA was yelling at one of the gate agents, demanding that she get him to Oakland at the time he was scheduled to get there. Hello, idiot, there are a whole bunch of people sitting here trying to get there, too, and there’s no plane at the gate yet. All the flights out of all the airports in California are having this same problem. What, exactly, do you expect the gate agent to do?
Voice mail messages that assume you have never used voice mail before, and that you can’t skip
I just want to leave a fucking message and hang up. I know, as does most of the civilized world by now, that I should start talking after the beep. I do not care that I can “press 1 for more options.”
How about IMOTP? (Impatient Motherfuckers On The Plane)? It’s 11pm. There are no connecting flights, as this is the West Coast, and it’s late. I also note they did not announce any connecting flight information, so you can be in no more hurry than me. We are all crawling out of our rows, gathering our carry-ons from the overhead bin, and exiting in an orderly fashion. Except you. Why do you think it’s your turn to exit the plane when you’re in a fucking row behind me? Why are you pushing past me? Wait your fucking turn, fuckface.
I am letting you in front of my car out of the goodness of my heart. How about a fucking wave, asshole?
Coworkers: Leaving one drop of coffee does not indicate that it isn’t your responsibility to make another pot!!
I just thought it was funny that you misspelled hot dog as hot dong. I wasn’t implying anything about your sexuality, psychology, or how you feel about your parents!
Sellers on online auctions who set start prices way below the reserve, forcing you to bid $1 at a time: “Let’s see, the start is $20, and the ‘buy-now’ is $200, so I’ll just guess a number between 20 and 200, shall I? 50? 51? 52? Nope. Ah, fuck it.” Actually, reserve prices in general: I always list my items ‘no reserve’ so people know how much I want.
Message board owners who won’t ban troublemakers
There’s this one place where I like to hang out – it’s not related to the SDMB or to anyone who’s ever been on the SDMB, just to clear that up.
A bunch of nice people interested in horror fiction, film, art, etc. who occasionally talk politics or something else that might be controversial.
There are two or three people who are constantly stirring up shit, and even when they aren’t, others remember when they did, so their history haunts them. Every thread they’re in turns into a trainwreck, but the board owner won’t ban them. He’ll delete posts and threads, but he refuses to ban these assholes, even though some of them have their own boards!
I’ve decided that the ability to comprehend the concept walk on the left, stand on the right* is a minimum qualification for being allowed to ride on an escalator.
*Or vice versa, if you’re in one of those countries where the drive on the wrong side of the road.
Assholes who call random numbers because they happen to find them on their caller ID.
GB: Good morning. Jones, Inc.
Asshole: You called me.
GB: This is Jones, Inc. How may I help you?
Asshole: You called me.
GB: I don’t think so. What is this in reference to?
Asshole: What is this in reference to? This is in reference to the fact that you called me!
GB: I’m sure I didn’t call you, ma’am. Are you trying to reach Jones, Inc.?
Asshole: I’m not trying to reach anybody. You called me!
GB: Who is this, please?
Asshole: You know who this is! You called me! Who is this?
GB: This is Jones, Inc. I’d really like to help you, but I don’t understand what you’re calling about.
Asshole: You’re the one who called me.
GB: I assure you that I didn’t call you. Did you get a message saying that I did?
Asshole: I saw your number on my caller ID.
GB: ( :rolleyes: ) Oh, well, there are a lot of people who work here. One of them may have called you. Did they leave a message?
Asshole: Yeah.
GB: What did they message say?
Asshole: I haven’t listened to it yet.
GB: :smack: <deep breath>
GB: Okay. Would you like to listen to the message and give us a call back?
Asshole: No. I found YOUR number on MY caller ID, and I want to know why you’re calling me!!!
GB: <several deep breaths> There are quite a few people who work here. Any one of them could have called you. Are you a customer?
Asshole: Yeah.
GB: Let me pull your file. What’s your name, please?
Asshole: I really don’t have time to wait for this. <hangs up>
:mad: :smack: :rolleyes:
Point 1: My coworkers don’t inform me of each and every call that they make. I have no idea who called you or why. I’m just the shmoe who happened to pick up the phone this time around.
Point 2: You’d know who called you and why if you’d just LISTEN TO THE FUCKING MESSAGE.
Point 3: If you had some legitimate reason why you couldn’t listen to the message, and you were nice about it, I’d be more than happy to ask around and find out who called you and why. In fact, I’d probably do it even if you didn’t have a good reason not to have listened to the message, and even if you weren’t nice about it. But if you want me to try and find out who called you and why, it would be extremely helpful if you’d tell me WHO YOU ARE. What am I supposed to do, go around and ask each of my coworkers “did you call some lady today?”
Point 4: The fact that our name and number showed up on your caller ID box is not some invasion of your privacy. You act like we wronged you in some way by calling you. We called you in reference to your order, which you paid a deposit on. Would you rather we take your deposits and NOT call you? Sheesh.
Re: voice mail/answering machine messages:
I hate the ones that just say “I’m not home. Leave a message.” If I’ve never called the number before, and have never spoken to the person before, I’d like to have some confirmation that I dialed the correct number. I just don’t like leaving messages for the wrong stranger.
For single women alone, you’re not supposed to leave your name or anything…I don’t see a problem with recording your number, except mine doesn’t. Sorry. I use the recording it came with, since it’s too much trouble to re-record.
Well, even detailing everything doesn’t always work. My message states my name and number in a very clearly male voice.
“Hi Ethel, call me…”
I like leaving messages for the right stranger.