And a baseball bat massage? 
Remind me never to request your services as a masseuse!
::super run-away::
I pit the stupid, soulless names that new sports stadiums are given these days. Names that are nothing but ads for the Big Money™ that bought the naming rights. There was a time when an arena name MEANT something to the team and the fans–but names like “Arrowhead Stadium” and the like are fading away so that we’re left with “Lucas Oil Stadium,” and “Minute Maid Park.” Dallas is getting a new stadium next year and it will probably have some idiotic moniker attached like “Geico Field” or “Pepperidge Farm Park.” I just hate it!
Fucking stupid cuntstomers who get pissy because you can’t pronounce the name of their little hick-ass middle-of-no-fucking-where Louisiana fucking retarded cajun bastardised French named shithole town. Get over it. Seriously, the ones who get the pissiest are the cunts who, upon hearing me say, “Thank you for calling XYZ, this is Litoris, how may I help you?” respond with, “Hi, Donna.” Donna? Hey, you goat-feltching fuckbucket, Litoris sounds nothing like Donna – and I fucking pronounced it for you. And it’s ENGLISH. Fucktards.
My stupid cat got out this morning and climbed a pine tree. Now he’s got pine sap on him. ARGH.
Roll him in feathers. That’ll teach him! 
Pet rants. Good call.
Tallulah - It is just fucking wonderful how you found out that you can claw and chew your way through nylon door and window screens. Now if only we could somehow monetize the sheer volume of stickers and burrs that you afflict yourself and your thick 3" long fur with every time you manage to escape the house, we could use them to pay for all of the screen replacements.
Yeah, such a departure from classic names like “Wrigley Field”
I was talking to a friend of mine. And she brings up leech therapy, asking if I’d ever heard of it. So I tell her that recently it’s been found to have some benefits for a couple of specific applications. I thought it had some benefits for badly burned patients, and per Wikipedia there are benefits for post-plastic surgery patients.
She then tells me that they detox the blood and can filter up to 8 liters of blood. And that the blood circulates through the leech, and back into the body. :eek:
I’m trying to show her why that idea is ridiculous, but I’m having trouble restraining my first impulse which is to shake her and yell at her to stop buying into what the anti-toxin health nutters are telling her.
Where the blazes is my cluebat?
I agree with Chanteuse.
“Wrigley Field” isn’t the same thing, because at least it’s a real name that belonged to a human being. Lots of things are named for people, and lots of those people founded corporations. That’s not the issue. It’s the new “corpacronym” names like Petco Park or Bank One Stadium that are like nails on chalkboard. If Bank One were founded and run by Joe Strubichinchoskow, and they named the stadium “Strubichinchoskow Field”, that would be OK. But “Bank One Stadium” is just ugly.
I suppose it all started when Candlestick was renamed 3-Com.
The difference being that Wrigley Field was named after the owner of the Chicago Cubs, William Wrigley, after he had the former Cubs Park extensively rebuilt. It was not named for some corporate sponsor who paid a large amount of money for the right to have its name plastered all over something for no other reason than to get more publicity.
eta: I have to start typing faster
Why do the birds in Australia all sound like they’re coughing up a lung? And why are they all black, brown, or grey? Where are the nice colourful twittery tweety birds?
Admittedly, the rainbow lorikeet almost makes up for it, except they’re loud and screechy.
It’s Johns Hopkins Hospital. Not John Hopkin, not John Hopkins, not John Hoppins.
Johnsssssssss Hopkinsssssssss.
JohnSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HopkinSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
Aghhhhhhhhh!
-Founded by Salazar Slytherin.
Tell her you’ve got a much more efficient system for doing that, and it’s seriously organic and natural. It’s called the liver.
I need to explain to a fellow committee member that the correct response to someone who’s taking on extra work for you because you’re not capable of or willing to do it is to say, “Thank you” rather than coming up with things that will take yet more of that person’s time. I’m the one taking on the extra work and, as a result of my fellow committee member, not only am I out a rather large chunk of time, I may not have time to grab lunch during one day of a weekend event we’re both involved in.
OtakuLoki, may I borrow the clue bat when you’re done with it? I don’t need it for long and I don’t think I’ll damage it, at least not much! If I do, I’ll buy you a new one!
Pretty girl. Drinking problem. Bad news.
Fuck this town for getting so fucked up that I feel uncomfortable going to the grocery store by myself. I think I’m going to have to start wearing my ass-kicking boots again.
And while you’re at it, make sure she understands that no, you don’t have ten pounds of raw meat and sausage casings in your colon, either. You have the remains of yesterday’s dinner in there - that’s it. Your colon is not a storage device (well, unless you’re a Colombian drug mule. But that’s not important right now.)
Other pretty girl. Drinking problem. Pentecostal Baptist. Worse news.
What is it with me and the nutters? Is it my pheromones or something?