Minnesota wildlife is dangerous (MMP... the Sunday Evening Edition)

[Anaamika]

Hi, guys! I’m back, if you can believe it! It was an OK week, I mean it was fun, but it could have been better.

Taxi, great OP! Made me smile.

Anyway, I’ll be telling you all about my vacation, if you don’t mind, but first, I’m afraid we’re going to start with complaints. Sorry. From my LiveJournal:

Man, traveling with your family sure ain’t easy. This is who was there - and I’m using psuedonyms, just cause. And I’m using non-Indian names, ones I like…only the first initials are the same so I can keep them straight.

Myself - Mika.
My sister, Brianna. (She’s not really my blood sister. But she’s been part of my family since before I was born, and I’ve always called her big sister.)
Her husband, Aaron.
My aunt, Pia.
Aaron’s mother and father. Their names are Uma and Sam.

Ok, so Uma, Aaron’s mother, turned out to be a total prude and lazy besides. Sam was kind of a prude too but more importantly was the typical Indian male of that generation - expecting every female around him to jump to do his bidding. I haven’t dealt with that in a long time. In my SO’s family, all but the one Pakistani male member jump to help their wives, do work around the house, and don’t give orders. I hate men who stand there and give you orders, and that’s all he did all week.

Then the next issue was that they were vegan. Do you know how hard it is to find food when away from home that’s not even got eggs in it? Especially when the people involved won’t even try to find anything for themselves but just stand around, expecting you to do all the work. Then, when you order them a special sandwich - say from McDonald’s - with only bread, cheese, and sauce, they pick it apart, expecting meat, and make it totally obvious that they are not enjoying it and are being forced to eat it. They did the same thing with the bean burrito we ordered from Taco Bell. As if we would deliberately try to trip them up and put meat in it!

Then they - and this is all of them, including my relatives - can NOT vary their routines even a little. If they get up, they must have tea, and something to eat with their tea, then they must heat up their own breakfast (more on this in a minute) and eat it, taking at least an hour in the process, then s-l-o-w-l-y everyone will go and shower and get ready. So it’s almost impossible to get out the door fast.

Breakfast. They brought Indian food, and rotis (bread) which they heated up in the hotel room every day. OK, I kind of understand this because there were six people and it would have been expensive to eat out, but who knew they would take so long every single freakin day? We missed the tour bus in Hollywood because they couldn’t get out the door by 11. By 11! GAH!

We might have missed my plane if I hadn’t finally stood up and said something. The morning of my flight, they were making tea, and then they suggested we eat first! I said we didn’t have time.

So back to Uma. Uma, it seems, had decided before she ever came to the States that we were all a bunch of immoral freaks and she was not going to get corrupted by us. Brianna and Pia had made dresses for her so she could wear them…she flatly refused. When Aaron (her son) pressed a little, his father said “Do you love your mom or your mom’s covering?” only he said it in a very insulting way, making it seem like Aaron was overly interested in his mom’s sexuality. I hate that generation of Indian men, have I said that?

They also suggested she leave her hair down and she also flatly refused. But later in the week she started leaving it down every day, obviously fishing for compliments. We just didn’t say anything.

The funny thing was, they really liked me, even though I am about as modern an Indian girl as you can get. I’d die before I even considered marrying most Indian men, and my resolve has only been strengthened this week. I would really like hearing terms of endearment in Hindi and stuff like that. but it’s definitely not going to happen!

I think I know why they liked me though. I have a hard time being genuinely comfortable with my family. In the old days I was a real chatterbox. Now the only person I am a chatterbox like that with is my SO…and in front of my family I speak very little and rarely instigate conversations. I don’t interrupt conversations, nor give my own viewpoints. This is based on three factors: 1) respect, 2) the total inability of my family to listen, and 3)as I said, the lack of comfort I feel. My mindset and thoughts are so different from them. In the old days I used to just toe the party line and say whatever they thought I should say/do, with no mind of my own. I can’t do that anymore, so instead I opt to remain silent most of the time.
And in India, a quiet child is considered the best of children.

I know my family has noticed this. Perhaps they think I’ve matured. But the reason I know they’ve noticed and are unsure of what it means is because they haven’t mentioned it, not once. Way back when they used to point out any little change in me at all.

Plus…the last thing that really, really bothered me was the total and complete lack of privacy. I mean, you couldn’t wander off for five minutes without someone following you and saying “Mika, where’s Mika? Is she OK?” :rolleyes: I’m 30 years old, I’ve taken care of myself alone in worse places. I know where to go and not to go, even in a strange place. But you know, if it was just a case of worrying about me I could maybe understand it. But it’s also the ignorant Indian way of keeping an eye on a daughter. My aunt Pia and my sister didn’t do this so much, neither did her husband…it was mainly the Indian guy.

…Speaking of Sam. He really liked me. Now, when Aaron touches me or hugs me I don’t mind, in fact I rather like it. I’ve always been short on affection and wanting more. But I don’t like it from men I don’t know well, and Sam seemed to want to give it. Toward the end of the week he started getting rather touchy and while mentally I am completely convinced it was innocent, the way a father pats a daughter, I STILL DIDN’T LIKE IT. I hate that creepy feeling of being touched by men I don’t like. Especially Indian men of that generation - they should give blessings by touching the daughter on the head, not trying to hug her and crap like that - UNLESS she wants. Indian men have no sense of personal privacy.

Don’t get me wrong. When it’s my dad or my real uncles, or even men I trust, I run to them for hugs and like those hugs. But I was already annoyed by this guy and even more creeped out. I know what the average Indian male of that generation is like. No public displays of affection ever, and they’ve been taught that if their wives aren’t in the mood, that they can just use them for sex anyway. They don’t respect women.

And the last thing - yeah, I definitely felt like an outsider in my own family. I’m happy for them and sad for me. It’s like this:
My aunt Pia has always had my sister and now my brother-in-law now, as her family. They are willing to totally sacrifice their privacy as well as any individual thought. They are now a unit. They do everything together and spend all their time together, except for work of course. I can’t live like that. I’m happy that they have found each other and are genuinely happy. I’m also sad when I see them - if my personality had been a little different or theirs perhaps, I could have been closer to my family. It’s just a matter of feeling like an outsider in my own family, I guess. But that’s not a new feeling, is it?

Anyway. Starting tomorrow I will go into more detail about the actual trip. As I said, it was fun, but all this stuff stopped it from being really fun.
Until then, a joke that my aunt Pia told me. To my surprise, mildly dirty.

A guy decided he was going to treat himself and bought himself two pairs of satin under-shorts. He got home, and decided, everybody does it, why not him? He decided to take a walk around the neighborhood in just his t-shirt and the new shorts.
But, in his excitement, he forgot to put on the shorts! So here he was, walking around the neighborhood with everything flapping in the breeze. Everybody kept looking at him, and he, thinking they were looking at his lovely new shorts, shouted, “You like this? That’s nothing! I’ve got another one at home!”

[Taters]

Great OP taxi!

Geese are mean, stupid birds. Especially the Canadian geese. They’re damn nervy too!

Goose stories. When I was four, I lived in Germany. While living in Germany we would go to visit my Oma (that’s grandma for those that don’t know what it means), who lived in a little walled town on the Altmuhtal River. There were swans, geese, and ducks there. As a mere 4 or 5 year old, I thought they were all NICE birdies. One day, while rambling down by the river, I saw a goose egg and thought, “Hm, I’ll take this home to Oma and we can hatch it and I’ll have my very own pet goose”. Well, I snatched the egg, and two geese chased me all the way back to Oma’s house. I was four or five, remember, so they seemed damn big to me. At any rate, my goose egg did not get a chance to hatch. My Oma thought it would make good eats.

The geese where I work now used to be so bad that they would literally snatch food out of your hands if you tried to enjoy your lunch outside. No, they didn’t take it while offering the food, they took it while you were trying to bring said food to your mouth. Like I said above, they were NERVY!

I’ve been chased by a swan too. Not a pleasant experience either.

I walked up on a bear while hiking; you can bet your sweet behind that I backed up very quietly and waited until I could hear the bear crashing away in the woods.

I’ve never run over a deer, but I’ve come close a couple of times.

Seagulls are nasty dirty birds. Enough said.

Spats, I’m glad you made it safely to the land of gators and bugs. I’m sorry, however, it was such a hassle.

Swampy, I’m glad you had fun at the Tampafest. You’re just a regular party animal, aren’t you? TWO bars?! My, oh my.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. I’ve got to do some actual work now.

[eleanorigby]

I didn’t know there were as many as two bars in Tampa…not exactly Sin City, is it?

And why has no one castigated me for not painting? I need a mom, I tells ya…

Off to paint and listen to the new Dixie Chicks CD, which I really like alot (and I dont’ like country music).

Mika --family-can’t live with 'em, can’t shoot 'em. What are you to do? Live far, far away…and knee Sam in the nuts if he starts with the touchy feely stuff again. Ew.

[Sean_Factotum]

Good morning, all. Typical Monday for me.

I heard on NPR one Saturday that Canadian geese actually pass as much crap in a day as a person. Just think of that - something roughly 1/4 our size leaves just as much behind. In some parts of the country, that’s the major cause of pollution in the rivers.

And taxi, sounds like you need to learn how to stop on those blades pretty soon. If this is a typical day for you out on the paths, it’s for your own safety.

[anyrose]

ok - all caught up.
**taxi ** - great story - can’t wait to hear/read more
When I was a wee bairn, we used to feed the ducks at the park. they were behind the fence, so us kiddies would break up the stale bread and reach in thru the chain links. The ducks came rght up to us and took the bread from our hands. More than once I got nipped by a bill. (which is not the same thing at all as being nibbled by Bill, which is much preferred) As for the geese - office parks on Lawn Guylandt are full of the critters. They walk right up to you scrounging for snacks. I got chased by one once. I was walking to my car, and apparently this involved what the goose viewed as crossing his territory. I barely got to my car without being attacked.
**'Mika ** - what sort of fun things did you do on your vaca?

[Lissla_Lissar]

I’m sorry your family was such a pain, Mika, and anxiously await tales of Vegas debauchery.

Chores and then work today. Guess what? This evening I’m working with Shiftless Git. Mr. the-government-is-evilly-taking-away-some-of-my-welfare-cause-I’m-working-can-you-pay-me-under-the-table? Mr I’m-in-a-Saturday-frame-of-mind-and-can’t-work. Mr. if-it’s-smoggy-I-can’t-work-I-get-migraines.

So I’m closing with him tonight. I may kill him. Justifiable homicide.

[eleanorigby]

No jury would convict.

Off to paint, really!

[Kythereia]

Today I’m doing NOTHING. The sweet, sweet bliss!

(I might be watching a movie or two later and cleaning my room. Incidental trivial things.)

It’s gorgeous and I have the sudden need to fly a kite outside. Anybody want to join me?

[Tupug_Anachi]

@Taters

Swampy, I’m glad you had fun at the Tampafest. You’re just a regular party animal, aren’t you? TWO bars?! My, oh my.

Actually, three if you count the one that was…you know…that kinda bar.

[anyrose]

@Kythereia

It’s gorgeous and I have the sudden need to fly a kite outside. Anybody want to join me?

Only if we can then jump into a sidewalk chalk drawing and travel to a cartoon carnival

[Lissla_Lissar]

That sounds fun. Oh, Kyth, I’m pretty sure I can go to the Serenity screening. I’ll email you.
They’re testing the fire alarm in my building. I think I’ll go get some groceries.

[swampbear]

LiLi you tell Shiftless Git that you have permission from the Cool Kids you hang out with to shoot him if he slacks off too much. Everybody knows that Cool Kids never get in trouble. That should crank him up!

Rigs you painting yet? Get to it! Those walls won’t paint themselves you know! Pick up that brush and get started right now young lady! I said NOW! That help?

Ok, off to eat sushi. YUMMMMMMMMMMM!!! Sushi!

[Beware_of_Doug]

Misread as: Minnesota wife is dangerous

[Draelin]

So tired. Cousin’s wedding yesterday, I ended up getting drunk and staying over. Now I’m going back to bed.

[The_Weird_One]

Actually, the correct term is Canada goose, not Canadian goose. Unless, of course, the goose was born in Canada.

[anyrose]

@The Weird One

Actually, the correct term is Canada goose, not Canadian goose. Unless, of course, the goose was born in Canada.

it’s easy to tell this breed from the others by their cry - “honk, eh? honk, eh?”

[NurseCarmen]

@Beware of Doug

Misread as: Minnesota wife is dangerous

Well, that’s another thread altogether.

I happen to know that if you get them pregnant so they’ll be due at the end of a long hot summer, they can become downright hostile. I had a long weekend of “yes Dear”.

[Anaamika]

I took Friday the 26th off work, so I managed to finish packing on that day. The SO left work at 2:30 PM, so he got home shortly after that. We had a late lunch, said our good-byes, and then he drove me to Albany International.

Albany Int. is a tiny little airport that has delusions of grandeur. Calling itself an international airport is just one sign. Still, one of the reasons I like is it’s never too crowded.

Anyway, my flight was at 5:25, so I got there around 4, just like they say you should. I got my bags checked and my boarding pass, and then went through security. This time they didn’t ask me to take off my shoes, for whatever reason.

Got through, and waited until boarding…we took off from Albany right on time, and flew to Minneapolis, where I had a two hour stopover.

When we landed in Minneapolis, there was almost no cloud cover. And I have to say, Minneapoleans, you have a stunningly beautiful city from the sky. Little patches of water, lots of green, a gorgeous sparkling city…it really appealed to me, and I really enjoyed looking at it.

I finally got to Colorado Springs around 10 PM or so. My entire family came to pick me up. This drives me crazy - then we all have to sit crowded in the car. One person could have come by themselves! Sheesh.

That night I met the crazy F.O.B.s (Fresh off the Boats - I rarely use this term, but they sure acted like that), but we did have a fairly good chat that night all the same.

I learned the Plan. The Plan was not what I thought it had been. I had thought the Plan was to leave the next (Saturday) morning. Oh, no. The Plan was as thus:

Saturday would be spent in finishing up their packing. Saturday would also be spent in cooking about 1 million rotis (bread) to pack and take with us, along with packing up all kinds of vegetables. I was going to be a Big Helper.

Then we would leave Saturday night, around midnight. Please make a note of that. Around midnight. We would drive to Vegas - this part I knew - and it would be about a 13-hour trip. They had bought a brand new minivan, and I have to admit it looked very roomy and spacious.

More later.

[Anaamika]

Er…that should be titled “Day 1 - the Flight Out.”

[Lissla_Lissar]

You left at midnight? That’s crazy.

Whatinhell has my computer done to itself? The screen is black at all four corners, and it’s curving anything up (desktop background, Internet Explorer) to look like a convex mirror image. It did this spontaneously. I think it can wait until Mr. Lissar gets home from work.