A Very Early and Stolen MMP

Not only am I stealing this MMP from mr. bus guy, I’m not even going to write one! Hah!

Some time ago I was invited to share some of my stored up Best of Straight Dope quotes in MMP format, so that’s what I’m going to do.

I hope you all feel properly confused, now. Have a nice Monday!


That’s made my day already. Let’s hope the good mood lasts until after my co-workers come in.


It doesn’t ztoober? What the hell? All good footlianists KNOW that ztoobering isn’t the issue, it’s the gambokler!
Honestly, kids today! You’d think that none of them had ever hardrostened before.

Great MMP!

Off to work. Husband has still not taken out last cabinet, despite having had all weekend to do so. (yes, I reminded him and told him the order of business for today. I dont’ say things more than twice anymore, because then the issue becomes one of my “nagging”).

He is somewhat fixated on a window in the kitchen that he has never liked. I do hope it is still there when I get home. Our budget does not include the purchase of a large double window at this point.

I need another husband–Lisslar , may I borrow one of your’s? I don’t want Newest Acquistion one–I’m in no mood to flirt.
Off to take care of sick people. Happy Monday!

Good OP LL! I got some good giggles out of it.

So, how’s everybody? I went up to see mom and other assorted family this weekend. We had a cookout on Saturday. Grilled chicken. And other stuff. We ate inside though cause it was kinda cool and windy outside. Saturday night there were biiiiiiiiiiig thunderstorms all night long. Yesterday I went to church with mom (I’m the good kid! :smiley: ) and then we had lunch at my sister’s. I left after lunch cause it was lookin’ kinda oogie like outside and I was hoping to escape driving in big storms, which I did by about an hour. Plus, my sinuses were hurtin’ something fierce! Anyways, I got home about four yesterday afternooon, took some sinus stuff and was lyin’ on my big sofa in the living room when it got really dark. I looked outside and yikes! big thunderstorm rollin’ in. I turned on TWC and sure enough there was a thunderstorm warning. Then all the sirens went off and the voice said “Attention! Thunderstorm warning! Seek cover immediately!” I love the voice from the sirens. So, it started raining, then thunder and lightning, then hail. Oh and a bunch of high winds for about an hour. After that, I decided I’d just call it a night, so I took more sinus stuff, went to bed and watched tv for about an hour before I drifted off to sleep. Mom got some good loot. Gift cards, a couple of nice rings, a nice necklace and a nice bracelet. Mom likes jewerly. Except for earrings. She won’t wear 'em.

Hope all you mom’s had a good Mother’s Day!

I didn’t call my Mom yesterday, or get her anything. If I want to see her, I need to bring a shovel… :frowning:

I did call 2 of my aunts, my dad’s widow, my sister called me before I could get to her, and took VunderWife out to the local Cinema Cafe for a combined Mother’s Day/anniversary date. BTW, An American Haunting is a big puddle of suck.

An announcement: I will not be present most of next week in the MMP as VW and I will be in Indiannoplace for my son’s high school gradjumacation.

::Snarls at LL:: :stuck_out_tongue:

It’s a good thing you stole it anyway, as my wireless connection was all befuddled this morning.

My friend’s daughter’s wedding was yesterday.

Marie – my buddy’s daughter is a Doctoral Candidate at a little place out east….Harvard???

Marie is majoring in some kind of Medieval Literature Studies guaranteed to keep her in school forever. Today’s wedding was all about what every wedding should be about. He loves her, she loves him…………

Hands down, today’s wedding was the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. Never mind that Marie and Tomas make a gorgeous couple, never mind that Tomas, his folks and his cute sister all hail from France…It was simple, small and you could actually feel the affection the two of them have for each other.

Tomas delivered his vows in strained English. Marie, in French.

MBG: In tears………Bus Wife, also, in tears………

Marie and Tomas will marry next month again in France. Today’s ceremony was for her family, here in America. Next month, they do the whole thing again in France.

Kind of a neat way to celebrate Mummies Day, at a nice wedding like that.

Off to a meeting, then a massage (yeah, tough day planned…) then to work.

Thanks **Li-Li ** for those sillies.
All went well last night, sleepwise, until nature called at around 3:45 am. So naturally when I crawled back into bed, Smokey wanted to play (my human is awake? weeeeeee!) She would not settle down. Finally I was able to get about a half hour before the garbage trucks rolled thru, then another half hour before the alarm went off. I’m at work, functioning, barely.
I need to win the lottery so I can sleep for a week or more.

Mmph. Morning. Sleepy. If I could have come up with a compelling reason to stay home today, I totally would have.

This weekend, we painted the living room (Before After) and the kitchen (Before. After).

There was only one horrible catastrophe, and that was mostly mopped up with my leg, although my boobs really took the brunt of it. I’d post pictures of that, but they’d be at least partially pornographic. I looked like an accident victim. Important painting lesson–if you’re standing on a ladder, holding a tray of paint, and you turn to look at something your roommate says, be sure to keep the paint tray level, rather than spilling it down the front of your body. And this was, naturally, after we decided that we hadn’t needed the dropcloth for the first coat, so why bother laying it out again? (The dropcloth would have served nicely as a rain shield for most of northern New Jersey.)

Then we watched both Spiderman movies and forgot to watch the Survivor finale, 'cause we’re idiots.

Good morning, all! I have the mother of all sinus headaches today. Great way to start a Monday, right?

Thanks **Lissa ** for the great quotes.

MBG, the wedding sounded nice…but a massage? Lucky duck.

swampy, I meant to ask you - are you near the other Albany?

Hi, rigs!

The sun poked its head out for a brief moment this morning but it’s rainy and cloudy again now. I hope the sun comes back as I really want to go biking today.

See you guys later!

Oooo! I almost forgot - I am going to give you guys the synopsis of another Indian movie this week. So keep an eye out for that.

And **taxi ** and **spats ** - you’re still going to be MMPers wherever you end up, right?

::GAG!!:: Banana worms?? :stuck_out_tongue: :stuck_out_tongue:

I had a very nice Mothers Day even if I didn’t get to go to the beach. I got some nice stuff and gave some nice stuff and it was a beautiful day. No nasty thunderstorms.

Howsomeever, I have a warning to any y’all thinking about a visit to Florida any time soon (pssssssst!! swampy) We are being eaten Take appropriate defensive tactics.

Tupug (Off to buy a bang stick)

Morning, all. It’s wet here. Been rainy for about a week, and raining for a good two days straight. No word about a break in the weather until Wednesday. Fortunately, no flooding at our house. Yay!

I got home Friday around 5 and didn’t step foot out of the house again until this morning. The house was well-stocked with snack food and beer, so I had no reason to go out in the rain. I hopped on my exercise bike yesterday evening after I noticed my posterior merging with the couch. Of course, sitting on inside all weekend has its own dangers; Saturday, one of my roommates’ cats was playing his favorite game, kitty-in-a-bag, and I (stupidly) started wresting with him through the bag and got my hand mauled. The cats are usually pretty gentle with bare hands and feet, but they don’t recognize something playing with them through a bag or a blanket as a hand or foot. In short, kitty-in-a-bag didn’t hold back and I have five nice puncture wounds on my left hand. Two on either side of the meaty part of my thumb, from his fangs, and another on the bottom knuckle of my middle finger from a claw. I applied iodine right away, but one of his teeth went in near the knuckle of my thumb and it sure felt like he got pretty close to the bone. That’s the only wound that hurts. It’s a little swollen, too, but I don’t think it’s infected. I think there’s a moral in this somewhere, but I can’t figure out what it is.

I strongly suggest a 12 ga. with a rifled barrel, loaded with deer slugs.

The Weird One, keep a close eye on that puncture wound. Cat bites are nothing to mess around with - they get infected easily and quickly. If it gets puffy, or red, or feels hot, hie thee to the doctor. There is an antibiotic specific for cat bites. My doctor keeps it on hand. :slight_smile:

I’ve been cat-sitting for a friend for the last week while she went to visit her daughter and new granddaughter. One of her three cats (who is neurotic anyway and doesn’t really care for me) has plucked a patch of hair off her back. It looks like someone shaved a bald patch on the poor cat. That has to hurt, wouldn’t you think? We’ve decided that my friend can only go away for about 5 days at a time before the cat gets weirder.

Hope everyone has a great week!

wow, Drae, that’s a RED wall.

Oh goodie! Another tale from mika! In the spirit of interesting things to read, perhaps I’ll post the story of Jersey Boy and me this week as well.

**TWO ** - the moral is, never play “Hand” with a claw-ful kitty unless you are wearing a leather glove.

Yeah … um … I thought would be darker. :rolleyes: But I love it anyway, so it’s all good.

I always knew that there were some backwards parts of the country, but down swampy’s way they have to actually make Civil Defense announcements for people to come out of the rain?
I bet you feel like the smartest person in the room down there, don’t cha?

I thundered up here yesterday, twice. But we didn’t have any announcements to come inside.

Have fun in the great Midwest VBob. Once again, I am chained to me desk. But I am having an annual evaluation, so I’m going to make my case for the company to send me places at times.

Drae, nice paint job! Our apartment is painted in various bright colors, and I really like it.

Tupug, I missed that 'gator story on my first read-through. Yikes!

Snakescatlady, thanks for the advice. I’ll definitely keep an eye on it. Did I ever tell you I had a dream about you once? You gave me a kitten, which is how I knew it was you.

Swampy, I’m jealous. I love thunderstorms, but we’ve only gotten regular rain here. Durn.

I lived in beige apartments for too. Damn. Long. :slight_smile: You should see what I did to my room.

Would you believe you can’t do that?

You either have to be a licensed trapper or enter the lottery to buy a permit to hunt them once a year. Only about 500 permits are issued, I believe, for the entire state. It’s hard to believe that up until recently the durn dinosaurs were on the endangered species list.