Or another possibility is that you’ve got full arms/hands–what with work computer, mail, maybe some groceries, and, owning to your apartment being on the other side of the building, to take the stairs would mean having to unlock and open an extra door or two.
I’d like to pit the ear-fuckingly assholish moron who I got on the line today. Look, mouth breather. We deal with engines. We have nothing to do with the snow blowers and lawnmowers they’re used in. Okay? Nothing. Nothing whatsoever. We don’t give a flying fuck at a rolling donut about the machines our engines are used in. So when you ask for a part for one of these machines that has nothing whatsoever to do with the engine and I tell you we don’t have anything to do with them, don’t fucking “thank” me "for the no-service." Fucktard.
:smack:
MINOR, I didn’t even notice that. I really shouldn’t have posted my ice cream one here, should I?
Here’s one:
Hey, Mr. Traffic Signal! When I get off work and I want to cross the busier of the streets at your intersection, I press your button to ask for the little lighted walking man. I’m not that upset that you take your own sweet time in going through the cycle; that’s your job.
But WHY, in the name of all that is holy, do you take my request as a trigger to give the little lighted walking man to people crossing the other street; people who already have the green light; people who didn’t ASK for the signal; PEOPLE WHO AREN"T EVEN THERE???
Sorry, but with everything else I have to do, I’m not going to watch hundreds of hours of DVDs just so I won’t be left out of three-hour conversations.
One thing that would help, though: When I choose the simple option of withdrawing from the convo, don’t call some condescending remark after me along the lines of “Well, it’s a really complex show,” or “Well, if you get the boxed set, you’d understand.” Ex-CUSE me?! Do I hijack break-time chatter to hold forth on the genius of Jim Jarmusch or Aki Kaurismaki? Do I push my chair back and stare in wide-eyed horror at people who say they never finished watching Mullholland Drive? DON’T assume that because I don’t worship at the Altar of Whedon, that means I want all my entertainment to be spoon-fed. Get off the cross, or I’ll make you watch the entire Three Colors trilogy.
Look, I pride myself on the depth and breadth of my knowledge of How This Company Works. I know alot about alot, even if I don’t directly work in that area each day. Most folks know this. They know that if they ask me question, I will either know the answer or can refer them to somebody who does.
In fact, I’m often shocked at how many people have NO CLUE how things get done around here.
However, if I tell you that I. DON’T. KNOW that means that I. DON’T. KNOW. I have told you who you can ask. I have even helped you out by emailing that person in advance so they’d have a heads up. It’s another point of pride that I never say I don’t know without at least trying to get you to someone who does. I don’t leave people hanging.
But jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus! Giving me MORE context and background on your problem does not help! If I don’t know, I don’t know.
Now, bugger off, ya eeeeedjit!
To my lazy coworkers:
It takes two of us to produce a transcript. You make the recording; I turn it into words on the printed page. Your main job is to flip the tape every 45 minutes; otherwise, all you have to do is try to stay awake. Oh, and occasionally write down a proper name or technical term that’s being used so that I won’t have to google ad infinitum to figure out that Richarde Smythe at Company X doesn’t spell his name the normal way. And, if you miss something while you’re flipping your tape, you’re supposed to write down what’s missed. It’s not usually more than five or six words.
So why in the name of all that’s holy are you incapable of even these most minor of tasks? Or, worse yet, do them half-assed? If someone spells the name, “S-m-y-t-h-e,” why do you write down “Smith,” and then indicate that you’ve checked it? And why is it always MY job to go hunting and pecking on your inaudible and badly marked backup tapes to find those five or six missing words from your poorly timed tape flips? (Here’s a hint: If you flip the tape during a recess or a pause, you won’t fucking miss anything!)
And to my employers: Why do you pay these idiots nearly as much as you pay me, when I’m doing half their fucking job for them? And why do you not actually enforce your instructions to them to do things right by, oh, I don’t know, a financial penalty, like you impose on me if I turn my work in late?
I pit my physics professor for the stupid test we just got back. I got a D-. That’s not his fault, but I’d rather pit him than study. Maybe I’ve discovered a bit of the problem . . .
For the love of OG, people could we make up our minds on whether console gaming or PC gaming is dying? Sweet Zombie Jesus, for every time I’ve heard “consoles will be dead in 10 years” I’ve heard 5 people say “PC gaming will be gone in 5 years.” Make up your mind already.
What’s got me pissed off right now?
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Why, university administrators, are all the banks, elementary and high schools closed for Presidents’ Day but we still have class? I realize that we got MLK Day off, but would it be a tremendous hassle to throw Presidents’ Day in there too?
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The crazy weather. Last week, it went from mid-60s to 5 degrees in the span of 72 hours.
Given what a college education costs in the United States, i thought you’d want to get your money’s worth.
This is usually because almost all of the federal holidays are on Mondays, so Monday-only classes would have to meet three weeks after the term ended, and T/Th classes would end a week earlier. What they do at my university is move the holidays to December, so that Christmas is followed in quick succession by Presidents’ Day, Veterans’ Day, Memorial Day, and whatever I forgot. That way, staff get paid holidays during your break.
Why they don’t give you the occasional Tuesday off instead, I couldn’t say.
If the hell-spawn across the street, whom I have tolerated playing basketball at midnight (thumpthumpthump) and their friends visiting at 1am (THUMPTHUMPTHUMP) hit my Jeep or my husbands Prius with the paintballs they have been leaving on my lawn, there will be drama.
This has been mentioned many times before, and it never used to bother me, but it seems to be a growing trend among otherwise intelligent Dopers. I’m starting to find it very annoying.
You don’t loose a game or your mind. You lose them.
If you’re not guilty of this atrocity, give yourself a pat on the back. If you are, write the following line out a hundred times and make sure it’s on my desk tomorrow morning.
Loose is the opposite of tight. Lose is the opposite of win.
Now that that’s over, I will bring up a whole other issue. Notice how I did not say a whole 'nother issue? That’s the issue.
A whole 'nother is wrong. A whole other is right.
Sorry for bringing up these tired points, but these practices seem to be growing on the Dope.
Thank you.
Customer: I have a child to pick up, dinner to make, and a life to live. I told you when you were in here the first time that:
a) We are the only company in town that rents these items
b) That we close at 6:30
c) That we only take cash or a personal check
So when you left my store at 5:45 to go comparison shopping (even though no one else would rent to you, and I told you that), did you really think that 6:29:48 (literally, I was already powering down the computers) would be a good time to come back and start a contract?
No, I wasn’t happy, but I hid it well until, at 6:40, after I got all your information in the system, you suddenly realized that you had no cash on you. “And you guys don’t take credit cards, do you?” you drooled. “No, no we don’t,” I constipated. “Can you wait for me until I get back from the ATM?” you moroned. “No, no I can’t,” I clenched.
On the plus side, my boss understands that I have a child to pick up, dinner to cook, and a life to live, so there’s no way I will get in trouble for that.
For the love of god people, when you call a place of business in the middle of your busy day, have the courtesy to realize that someone WILL pick it up promptly. This has happened many times over the past week:
Phone rings at office. I pick up after first ring.
Me: Thank you for calling XXXXX …
Nameless idjit: …and then tell him to take out the garbage and would you
Me: …how can I help you?
NI: …and he can’t have tomatoes. Oh, who is this?
Me: The XXXXX. How can I help you?
NI: Oh, I need to talk to Mary. (to other nameless idjit … yes, ok, I told you to turn that down . . )
Me: I’m sorry, she’s not in at the moment, may I take a message or can I help you with something?
NI: <other conversation going on> I’ll call back.
Click
People are apparently used to carrying on at least one conversation while on the phone. I can’t tell if you’re talking to me, you’re deranged and talking to your invisible friend, your house is on fire and you’re instructing the firefighters to save the children, or you’re just such a bad time manager that you have to do two (or more) things at once. Focus people, focus!
I heartily second this one. “Loose” is becoming a scourge on the Internet.
It blew my mind when this was first pointed out to me. I think that you’re fighting a losing battle on this one, though.
I pit bitter coffee. If I get brewed coffee on campus that I didn’t make myself, it tastes as bitter as a bottle of dissolved aspirin. There ain’t no amount of sugar/Splenda/aspartame/honey/happy thoughts that will make that stuff drinkable. I’ve tried the brewed stuff at all the campus coffee shops and in the department lounge and it’s all nasty bitter. I spent a good hour and a half yesterday running Brew Rite through the coffee maker in the tutoring center where I work so I could have tasty coffee this morning. I suspect I’m going to have to go on a Brew Rite crusade through all the campus drip machines to spread the gospel of palatable coffee.
And it’s not like I’m a conniseur (or however you spell it)! My dad drank 8 cups of coffee a day! He bought El Cheapo Brand and just dumped it in the machine and waited until the pot walked over to him and poured itself into his cup. And it STILL tasted better than the elitist coffee at the shops on campus!
It’s ok if you think of it like this. “Whole” is stuck in the middle of another. It’s like “absofuckinglutely.” “awholenother”
My rant? A lot. Two words.
If you are a pampered celebrity with a washboard stomach, don’t tell us your secret is to eat “six small meals a day” instead of three bigger ones. We regular Joes without personal assistants at our elbow, and who work regular jobs, can’t organize our lives around preparing and eating six little meals.
The phrase “Not much longer.” as a concept. If someone is in a position to hear that, whether sighed exasperatingly or in that annoyingly perky way that some morning people have, they really don’t need to be told. THEY KNOW. Why? Because that’s probably been their sustaining mantra forever now anyway.
Besides, that drag-ass time never seems to fucking get here. Especially not in any sort of helpful way. And “Hang in there.”, “It’ll get better.” and the ever irritating “This too shall pass.” get a mention for sheer cluelessness by the speakers. Listen shitheels, anyone over the age of six and puppies understand this. In triplicate. Pay attention and buy a new cliche instead.