Minor rudeness that makes you want to go postal -- post 'em here!

The BBQ Pit
61

I always thought I was the only buffoon that thought this. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen someone coming & accidentally hit the the wrong button. I have a complete brain fart in the .03 seconds I have to reach down & hit one. I’ve resorted to just sticking my arm in between the two doors, hoping the bumpers work.

One more peeve: Dear Mr Driver, you’re making a right turn. The intersection has its own lane for turning right. See that solid white line on the left of you? That means you have a protected lane to use so you can merge into traffic. So why the hell are you stopping?!?? GO, asshole!

62

My biggest gripe lately has to do with getting the attention of my coworkers when I need to ask them a question. Twice in the past few weeks this has happened to me. I go to their cubicles and find that they are talking to someone else, either on the phone or in person with another worker. Fine, no problem. Being the mild-mannered, polite, decent, civilized being that I try to be, I stand and wait patiently for the person to whom I need to speak to take a brief pause from their conversation and either ask me what I need, or have the courtesy to let me know that they will be with me in a few minutes, so that I can get back to what I was doing and then check back a few minutes later. Is this too much to ask?! Apparently for some people it is. I HATE it when I am obviously standing there waiting to ask a question or tell this person something and they do absolutely nothing to acknowledge my presence, ARRGGHH!!! It’s like, HELLL-OOOOOO!!! AM I INVISIBLE?!!! YOU DON’T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO SEE ME!!!" I’m sure as hell not standing there because I have nothing better to do! How I so wish that I could get back the hours-- hell, the cumulative days– that I have lost over the course of my life waiting in vain on morons who can’t take five seconds to recognize my existence!

The other thing that bothers me to no end is when it actually does register with them that I am visibly occupying space within the scope of their vision and they do have the courtesy to let me know that they will be right with me. I figure it may be a minute more, two minutes at the most. Noooooo, too easy. They continue to yammer on endlessly, as if somehow I’m supposed to be entertained by hearing their end of the conversation on the phone. :rolleyes:

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PEOPLE, IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO BE “RIGHT WITH ME”, AT LEAST HAVE THE COURTESY TO TELL ME!!! MY TIME IS VERY VALUABLE TO ME!!!

63

I have an unusual first name. In fact, my parents made it up, so it’s not likely that you’ve ever encountered it before, Mr. Person-Who-Asks-For-My-Name-So-You-Can-Write-It-Down-Somewhere. I tell you my name, you ask me how to spell that. No problem. I tell you. Slowly. Clearly. Distinctly, making sure that each letter is easy to understand. It’s only 5 letters. WHY DO YOU WRITE IT DOWN INCORRECTLY AFTER I JUST STOOD 12 INCHES FROM YOUR EARS AND TOLD YOU HOW TO SPELL MY NAME?!?!(*#&(*#&

I took out my branding iron and burned it into your forhead.

64

Yuh!!!

I was in the middle of Detour Hell (my jurisdiction shuts down roads, and then starts construction work on the frigging detour to mess things up even further), inching up in an endless line of cars approaching an intersection, when out of sheer unbelievable kindness I paused to let some woman get out of her driveway and make a left turn in front of me. Did she acknowledge my generosity in any way? Nooooo, she acted all haughty and disgusted because she had to wait 10 seconds for someone to let her through. Well, no more Mr. Nice Guy. Next time you can sit in your Sentra and rot.

65

this one is dedicated to all the worthless deadbeat bidders on e-bay.

I sell buttons/pins on ebay.

I list my buttons at $1.25.
E-bay takes 30 cents of that.
paypal takes another 30 cents (yes a lot consideroing, but its worth not having to hassle with money orders).
I charge 1.00 in shipping. 45 cents goes to a stamp. The other costs are for a sturdy envelope and bubble wrap.

I honestly think I am fair in my prices…especially shipping (not like those that charge $270453757 for something that OBVIOUSLY takes 2.00 to ship…but I digress).

I state CLEARLY that I sell ONE INCH BUTTONS.
I CLEARLY STATE that the buyer is to use ebay’s check out system. It will give them all the info needed to send in payment.

however…

I get dead beat bidders. WHY ARE YOU BIDDING IF YOU DON’T WANT IT!!!
Still, I am nice and usually take it in stride. I was not a big fan of negative feedback…I don;t think it does anything anyway.

I get people that claim they never got it. yeah right. but as the buttons are small and I like to make people happy, I send them another. Woud be nice to get positive feedback, you douchebags. I made zero profit on your purchase.

then I get the gems that want something for nothing:

the ones who claim they sent me money but offer no proof.

or this particular fucknugget:

fuck nugget: I DEMAND to know where my pin is. I paid on MAY 9 via paypal. I HAVE PROOF.

me: well, I don’t show proof of your paying via paypal.maybe you need to straighten it out with them.

(hello? idiot? if you are going to claim you sent money, don’t claim yo sent it via a source that keeps track of such things. idiot)

him, a few days later:

oh. Well, I must have sent it to the wrong person and they cashed it in. I am sending it now via paypal.

(hello? asswipe? I have a pretty unusual account name. And if you paid the wrong person, you need to PAY MORE ATTENTION)

three days pass. nothing. payments on paypal are instant.
him: I SENT IT. WHY HAVENT YOU RESPONDED?!
me: nope. no record of receiving it yet. try again, please.

finally i get the payment.

I send him a button and an extra, even. i often send extras to customers as a way of saying Thanks! Plus I like to surprise people with an unexpected gift.

now fucknugget tells me I mislead him.
That I was selling a HUGE square button and I sent him a TINY round one.
(he neglects to mention the second pin I sent. I ignore it seeing as you didn’t ask for it)

me: I clearly state in two places that you are bidding on a 1" button. The photo I use is enlarged to show detail. I do see how you can construe it as being square and for that I appologize. I would be more than happy to refund your money.

FN: yes I want my money back

me: sure! no problem! As you can understand, I have had a lot of problems with people wanting to get free buttons from me. As soon as I receive the button I will refund your money.

That’s fair, isn’t it?
ANY place of buisness would ask for the merchandise back before refunding money.

Fucknugget writes back:

fine! I will send it to you. I need your address. and besides, the button you sent is 1/2" in diameter.

(sigh. its on the envelope. idiot)

me:

here is my address. Here are some tips to send back the button.
it must be in asturdy envelope. it must have bubble wrap. It is 45 cents to mail.

and not to beat a dead horse, but it is ONE INCH in DIAMETER. maybe you are confusing diameter with radius, but I AM NOT. I work in Architecture. I know how to measure things. trust me.

(except I said it much nicer)
so. I can smell it now:
he wil claim he mailed it.
and if he actually does, he will put it in a regular envelope.
or he will send a torn envelope (It was lost! I swear!)
he will leave me negative feedback, even though I had left him positive feedback.
bastard prick. all that for 50 cents profit.
Usually I would refund money (never needed to though) with out any hassles and I would let you keep the button. but you, FUCKNUGGET, had to be difficult. and therefore I will make sure to inconvenience you.

people like Fucknugget really take the joy out of it and are slowly turning me into a ebay-gestapo. I now leave bad feedback, etc.
I know have a billion disclaimers. In a way, i thank you for making me learn to be more hardnosed business person. But you don’t have to be such a god damned killjoy, already. asshat.

I enjoy my side business. I like selling buttons areound the world.
I don’t mind sending extra buttons to make someone’s day (like the one I made for a little girl who’s mom told me collected elmo stuff. so I made an extra pin saying Elmo loves Sara. just because I like the idea of making a little girl happy)

It’s people like asshat fucknugget who make the nice people jaded.
whew. that was long but i sure do feel better now after ranting!

66

I am walking through the store and you, total stranger, are walking a few paces behind me. I reach a door and, being a reasonably civil sort of person, I stop and hold the door open for you to pass through.

At this point I must have become invisible because you, total stranger, don’t even bother to acknowledge that I have done this for you.

I get in front of you and, at the next door, hold that one open for you as well.

Oops ! My but these door handles are slippery.

Yes. Isn’t it amazing how much blood comes out of your nose.

67

Ooh, Canyon Surfer, that reminds me of a minor rudeness that some women are guilty of - some women seem to think their arms are painted on when it comes to opening doors. I am also a woman, a quite polite one even, and I will open a door and hold it for someone if it makes logistical sense. If you are another woman and you reach the door before I do, or are in a better position to open it yourself, don’t stand there like you’re a delicate flower, incapable of opening a door and wait for me to do it for you. I’m not your boyfriend or your husband; I don’t have to be gallant with you in the hopes of getting in your delicate little pants. I can let you stand there like a doofus while I go open the other door for myself.

And the corollary for that little bit of rudeness is a stream of people coming out of the door that I just opened for myself to go into; no, I’m not planning on holding it open for all twenty of you. I wil, however, let go of it and go find another door (gently, mind you; I’m still Canadian, you know.)

68

featherlou, you’re still doing justice to my crush. Difference is I will wait to let the door close until I am almost certain they’ll get hit by it.

Other things.

Looking around in Wal-Mart (or a grocery store). Inbred Jed, Grandma in her powered scoorter and his troop of 5 snot nose kids are walking width-wise down the aisle so NOBODY can get by them. I now just usually say “excuse me” as I shove the cart the the largest opening between them I can see, and make it wider.

Kids that run around stores in wreckless abandon with parents that don’t give a shit for their well being. I don’t try to hurt them, but I will not get out of their way if I see them not looking where they are running and they’re going full tilt for my cart or leg. Almost always immediately followed by a “THUMP” and the inevitable "wwwaaaaAAAAAAHHHH.

Signal-lights being optional - Already covered.

When I was in my wifes car (A 2 door Grand Am) a few weeks ago, I parked in a local mall parking lot. When I went to leave 10 minutes later, a volkswagen bus (a nice one, too if you like those fugly vehicles) parked sooo fucking close to the drivers side or our car I couldn’t walk to the drivers door, let alone open it. I am serious when I say about a 6 inch gap between cars. I climbed in on the passenger side. I then ever so ruthlessly opened the drivers door to give the asshole a nice door ding.

People that run amber/red lights turning lights. Not to be confused with people already in the intersection. These are people that are behind the stop line and proceed to go past it to try to sneak through the light if at all possible, regardless of the consequences. Pisses me off. Now, if I am in the first row to go when I get the green light I just mat it and try to scare the shit out of the offender.

69

Hee hee - with you all the way, there, Bernse. Shopping carts as weapons - why didn’t I think of that?

Oh, what you said about matting it off the green - that reminds me of what Jim did last week. A couple of punk-ass kids were casually wandering across the road in front of us against the light, and Jim floored it to try to scare them off the road. Our only regret was that we weren’t in my 5-speed, so we could make the engine roar and hopefully make them fill their drawers. I love standards for that reason.

(ps - I’ve heard that the fine for running amber/red lights in Alberta is going to go up to $500. Can we get a hallelujah?)

70

My peeve: All the blagstaggering snogbodgers who think that a sign reading “BUS STOP—NO PARKING HERE TO CORNER” really means “PARKING SPOT SAVED JUST FOR YOU!”

NO, lackwit, you are not supposed to park at a bus stop. In the first place, it makes it harder for the bus driver to see people waiting for the bus. In the second place, bus stops are meant to be kept clear of cars not just so the bus can pull in to the curb to pick up or discharge passengers, but also so the bus has a little extra room to maneuver in traffic.

When the bus is trying to turn left onto the street where you have illegally parked at the corner stop, the driver doesn’t have enough room to turn without smashing into your car (and unfortunately, they are usually too well trained to do that). So all the cars waiting in the oncoming lane have to back up in order to give the bus a little more room on its left side to make the turn. And so they all get pissed at the buses, but the person they should be pissed at is YOU YOU YOU, you illegally parked lackwit.

The hell with these murderous Death Ray Blaster fantasies, what I will do and do do to these idiots in actual fact is sit on their cars. Yes, if you are illegally parked at a stop where I’m waiting for a bus, I will perch my little tuchus right on your hood or your trunk (being careful not to damage it, of course; I may be an urban guerrilla but I’m not a vandal) so I can see the bus coming and wait in comfort. If you return to your car before the bus comes and give me a hard time about it, I will sweetly and politely explain. And the next car that tries it, I will do the same thing again.

(No doubt Osiris will now come along and remind me that maybe these people have back or knee problems and need a closer parking spot. Yeah yeah yeah. For one thing, that’s what handicapped-parking spots are for. For another, I do check for handicapped plates or stickers before doing my sit-down protest, and I haven’t seen one yet.)

Don’t park your car at a bus stop. Grrrr.

71

On the subject of door etiquette:
One of the drugstores here has a plethora of entrance/exit options: a revolving door in the center, flanked by regular old swinging doors. Sometimes one of the swinging doors is locked, which is a minor point but still irritating. I don’t use that door much anyway because a StreetWise vendor usually likes to stand right in front of it hawking the paper, and berating those who don’t buy from her. OK, maybe this is worth a little venom: I buy my StreetWise (a paper by and about the homeless; sells for a dollar, the vendor gets a percentage of that money) every week from a guy up near my house, whom I enjoy talking to and I now have an acquaintance-like relationship with. Don’t make rude comments at me because I don’t buy my paper from you; the fact that you’ve done that more than once makes me even more inclined not to buy from you. Anyhoo, I’m coming out of the Walgreens, and to avoid the StreetWise vendor I take a dizzying turn at the revolving door. Said revolving door is pretty well-lubricated in its track, and spins at a healthy clip. A woman gets in the door ahead of me, and pushes her way out. I can’t approximate the velocity at which we are travelling through the door, but it’s enough to mimic that weird sensation when you step off the escalator or a moving walkway. This woman stops dead in her tracks, looking through her purse, as soon as the revolving door deposits her outside. I kind of smack right into her, as I am likewise deposited in the same spot. She turns to me and says “Hey watch out that’s rude.” No, it’s rude, and inconsiderate, to block the entrance and exit of the revolving door. If I happen to bump into you because you’re standing there like a freaking statue, blame yourself.

72

Um, bad idea. Kind of like peeing into the wind, only slightly more painful.

73

Ooh! This happened to me not to long ago at school. This asshair in a big shiney red truck decided to SQUEEZE into the little half space next to my car the space I chose to not to park in because the car in the space next to it was over the line. You’d think everyone else would have the same common sense right? No! Mr. I drive a big shiney red truck because my penis is too small parked in that spot leaving about 6 inches between his truck and my car.

I leave school early to go to work so I don’t have the benefit of waiting for him to come out with the rest of the students to leave so I had to climb through my passenger side door to get into my car. Oh yeah, did I mention it was raining? Well, it was. It was pouring fucking cats and dogs.

After I done pulled out I realized I should’ve gone to the office and had the ass hat paged to move his truck so I could get in my driver’s side door. At least then he would’ve gotten drenched too.

makes a note to buy a Death Ray to have on had for such occassions

74

“Standing there like a freaking statue” - people do this everywhere. In malls, at the bottom of escalators, outside the doors of elevators, in the middle of the sidewalk, in the hallways in offices, on bike paths, everywhere. I have one thing to say about people who just come to a halt and stand there (for whatever reason); you were boogying along this corridor/path/whatever until you stopped; what makes you think that there won’t be other people who also want to boogy along where you were just boogying?

(For the record, I’ve noticed that almost all the things that are bugging people, myself included, are just plain thoughtless things. I think thoughtlessness is reaching epidemic proportions in North America.)

75

Have on HAND. Please overlook my rambling style of writing with blantant disreguard for using commas also.

sigh Preview is my friend!

76

Me? Are you sure?
Anyhoo as a bus rider I agree. What I always wanted was not a death ray, too easy. But rather a remote control that would melt people’s engine blocks into a solid block but not effect the outside of the car. I’d melt it and sit back to watch the fun as they come back, can’t seem to start their car. Eventually open their hood and see a solid block of metal. Oh the look on their faces, muahahahaha.

77

Christ, I don’t think I can read any more of these. Just reading them gets me pissed at the people and I think my blood pressure is up.

Tibs.

78

One can die NOT running yellow lights. Some yellow lights runners are probably afraid the truck behind them will plow into them if they stop.

I’ve been rear-ended THREE times at stop signs (not yellow lights, but close). Twice by pickup trucks; they could see over the parked car illegally blocking the view of on-coming traffic, and, seeing a break in the traffic, decided to go for it. They just forgot about my little low 4 cylinder 40 miles to the gallon (highway) car directly in front of them, easing forward to see around the illegally parked car.

Will you forgive them if I tell you I told one rear-ender she could go and pick up her kid at day-care if she promised to meet me to exchange papers afterwards?

79

[celestina sits before her computer. Flames and steam
are rising off of her body. Folks better be careful.
If they get too close to her, she may explode and take
them with her.]

To this piece of fucking shit computer:

When I press save, that does not give you license to
crash.
When I press print, that does not give you license to
crash.
When I press print, that does not give you license to
print my business on a computer two floors or two
continents away for that matter.
When I touch the mouse or the keyboard, that does not
give you license to crash.
When I reboot the system, that does not give you
license to crash.
When I breathe in your vicinity, that does not give you license to crash!

My boss paid good money for you, and you have some
nerve acting up on me when I’ve got things I’ve got to
do. It should not take me four fucking hours to
complete one task that I could finish in less than one hour.
Now either straighten up and act right, or eat shit
and die! You have been formally warned. Next time I’m going to put my foot up your ass, and we’ll see what you have to say to that, mkay? Just try me. Come on, I want you to. I’ll happily go back to using this typewriter we got sitting here all covered up with the dust jacket. It’s lonely, poor thing. I think it would appreciate a little more attention.

80

I really like Frozen Yogurt and sometimes when I go to purchase one at the local shoppe I notice that they have a new flavor and ask to try it. So the yogurt comes in this tiny little taster cup thingy which to get a taste you either have to put it into your mouth and sort of suck it out or lick it with your tongue. What bugs the crap out of me is that every time I sample a new flavor, these yogurt workers watch every move I make as I do this. And I mean they totally stare! Not just a glance and then look away awaiting my order, but really staring at me, like they enjoy watching that little drop of yogurt land on my lip and me embarrassingly licking it off. Why do they do this? Is it a game? At the end of the day do they compare with each other how many people got yogurt on their nose? I just know it’s some kind of conspiracy :).