Minty-fresh toilet bowls and other vaguely inappropriate products

They taste O.K., but why name your cookies Otis Spunkmeyer?

“Otis Spunkmeyer”? That just ain’t right. Makes you wonder if they have a “special” ingredient {wink wink nudge nudge knowwhatImean knowwhatimean}

Speaking of names, who would want to shop at a shoe store called the Athlete’s Foot?

Individually wrapped slices of peanut butter, sitting right next to the Kraft American cheese slices in your grocer’s dairy case.

Call me a reactionary, but I don’t think peanut butter should be sliceable.

Read the ingredients on those sometime. In my opinion, “edible” panties aren’t. (I speak from experience). And “Tasty Pasties” are neither edible, nor tasty. If you want to eat something off your lover, my advice is to ignore Spencer’s gift store and get something from the supermarket, like ready-mixed frosting.

Silver Dragees are made with real silver (at least according to the website of the “only U.S. manufacturer.”)

The FDA’s website says the following (italics are mine):

Uh-huh, so doesn’t that seem to say that they have to be used in a way the makes it explicitly clear that they are “decoration” and not edible? Ever pick them off your cake? Pain in the ass!

The labelling for silver dragees must include “not confectionary” and are meant to be sold as non-edible decoration and not sold as candy (or otherwise identified in a way that suggests they can be eaten).

That being said, of the cake decoration supply sites I saw on-line, several referred to them as “edible” and only a small minority said “not to be sold as confectionary.”