Minute Maid: you suck the juice of 1,000 wormy apples

I was having a hard time with morning sickness in the hot summer, when I thought that some fruit popsicles might taste good. I wanted something made with real juice, not the artificial colors and flavors of most kiddie freezer pops. So I added this to the grocery list…

Something you must know about shopping in my current state (pregnant, that is):
I have to pee all the time. So by the time I got to the frozen food section at the end of the store there was no time for thorooughly reading labels. Not to mention that the mere sight of food was making me queasy.

SO! I entered the popsicle section. And I do mean section: a vast array of colors never seen in nature was splayed before me, erect, like a Vatican birth control nightmare. From the phallic disarray, I managed to pick out “Minute Maid Juice Bars.” In addition to the name, the box proclaimed: “90% juice!” so I figured that sounded good.

Well, I got home that evening and went to have a lick. Hmmm…looks kinda bright colored. Hmmm…tastes kinda artificial. So I look at the ingredients. All three flavors (grape, cherry, and orange) are made with apple juice, high fructose corn syrup, and natural and artificial colors and flavors! Yes, I know apple juice is a juice, but come on. That’s clearly not what type of juice one would expect to find in these flavors.

God forbid I should think that a company that actually makes frozen orange juice could handle making an orange juice pop out of orange juice. Screw you Minute Maid for tricking me with your deceptive packaging. You may have fooled me into purchasing your product once, but you can sure as hell be guaranteed I will not be buying any other of your frozen products. And from now on, I’ll be examining the fine print on that “orange juice” too.

Heh. Erect popsicles.

I may spend more time in the frozen food section on my next shopping trip…daydreaming…


Grampa’s diabetic and he likes bottled juice. Go ahead and check THOSE labels sometime - finding something that doesn’t have added sugar isn’t easy. Add in that he really doesn’t give a flying fuck what he buys as long as he likes the taste and you’ll know why weird stuff is always ending up on foodshelves in our area.

Completely off the subject: Lender’s blueberry bagles contain no actual blueberries.

“white grape juice” is another weasel word for “sugar and water with a dash of fruit stuff,” IIRC.

Sorry to hear about your iced confection letdown. If I may offer an alternative that may meet your standards of juiciness, fill an ice tray with orange juice and cover it with a layer of plastic wrap. Stick toothpicks through the wrap into each cube and place in the freezer. After a couple of hours or so, you have mini-juice bars made only of what you put in. I suppose for larger sizes you could use plastic cups and chopsticks.

Or 3 oz. dixie cups and craft sticks.

Whoa, “Time for Timer” flashbacks… Care for a side of “Wagon Wheels” with that?

Gotta go, hankering for a hunka cheese…

P.S. Apologies to non-US Dopers who probably think I’ve gone round the bend… This is a reference to 70’s TV Saturday-morning kidvid animated public-service nutrition spots. One of the spots was about the above mentioned orange juice cubesicle-kinda things…

You can get plastic popsicle trays everywhere. Fill them up with orange juice. Insert stick. Put in freezer. Yum!

Once as a younger person, I tried to make OJ popsicles with the juice my Uncle drank after work. I didn’t know it was pre-mixed Screwdriver. Never did freeze. </hijack>

I know, I know, I should buy fresh fruit and puree it, then mix it with 100% juice and freeze. (Even if it makes me hanker for a hunka cheese…when my 10 gallon hat is 5 gallons flat :smiley: )

I’m just irritated at this whole labeling business. At least with Cheez and Kreme, you realize you ain’t getting the real article. Why must food be out to deceive you?

And to hijack my own thread, does anyone know the minimum print size and color for the words such as “flavored” on items like chique’s blueberry bagels?

How Stuff Works to the rescue. Looks like 5 atoms is the current limit.

Most fruit plastic is made with pear junk. So there’s another fruit being abused.

Just make sure that you’re not a Yuck Mouth!

I’m much too lazy for all these popsicle preparations - I just freeze large white grapes. Yum.

I recently watched an episode of ‘Unwrapped’ and they showed why apple juice is used in these things. It counts as ‘juice’ and is bland enough in flavor to allow them to be made in just about any flavor you want.

Frozen bananas are truly yummy. Though even better when covered in melted choccy.

Holy crap, so that’s where I first heard about them! I’m having some major flashbacks now…
“This goes for every kid,
or 6-foot a-the-lete,
What you really are is what you eat!”

The makers of Sunny Delight would have you believe it is this fine pure orange juice product. J
It’s just antoher scam of water, sugar, and very little real honest to goodness orange juice.
The demo lady gat really ticked when I started asking the embarrassing questions and was anxious for me to move on.
So much for truth in advertising!

Holy crap! I was coming to Minute Maid’s defence since I kill 2 20 oz bottles of delicious Minute Maid Light every day at lunch. Surely since there are bits of lemon in the bottom of the bottle it is genuine. Let me check the lable.



Some ingredients:
Citrate Acid(Provides tartness)
Potassium Citrate (Regulates tartness)
Glyceral Ester of wood rosin (WTF?)
Sodium Hexametaphosphate
Sodium Benzoate
Potassium Sorbate
EDTA (WTF?) to protect taste
Acesulfame Potassium
Yellow #5


That would be ethylene diamine tetraacetate. It is a preservative.


I am not sure sure that the lemonaide is a good example of this (if that is what you are drinking!).
Most lemonaide (even the real stuff you make at home) has a small amount of lemon compared to the water. I mean, even at 50%, you are talking about some tart stuff.

now as for all that other stuff in there, well, even quick glance at the label should tell you it contains more than water, sugar and lemons. None of the lemonaide I have made at home looks yellow (like the minute maid stuff) so, that too, should have been a warning.

Yeah, but the bitch is they put damn pulp in there to make it seem like the real thing. Like a 50/50 mix.