To my neighbour’s teenage son: Are you fucking stupid? Look, normal people do not go rooting around through their neighbour’s woodshed, at least not without telling them. You were looking for your hamster cage that you lent the person who lived here 6 -friggin- months ago? Why didn’t you ask me where it was? I threw it out along with all the other crap these slobs left behind. And you are fucking really fucking lucky that was my golden retriever I let outside who found you in the shed, and not the damn mastiff. He would have chewed you a new asshole (asshole).
To the woman I am fostering a dog for: Look, I have no problem looking after this dog until it finds a home. But you cannot turn down a potential adopter because the husband had cancer. That’s not right. I understand what you are thinking, what if the cancer comes back? But there are plenty of reasons people give up dogs, and you are never going to be able to find a home for him that you can guarantee will keep him for the rest of his life. Give these people a chance, they seem nice.
To the SDMB: I love you and everything, but sometimes after I hit reply, you tell me you can’t find the page, then I hit the back button, and you have deleted a post that took me half an hour to write. Please stop doing that.
To the 3D Lecturer who pretends that he can qualify to teach programming:
Look, you idiot - You are the one who offer to extend the dateline for my ASP programming project but you didn’t say that you are going to judge my project with higher criteria. This is programming, not art class - I spent two months slaving away on this project to get the advanced features working and YOU don’t even take a look at them and CRITICISE the graphics I used for the interface and that it doesn’t look nice. DAMN IT, I am a programmer, not an artist! THIS is not art class!
The other lecturers are going by a crtiera list and if they get the crtieras in they get the score - YOU DON’T FOLLOW IT and come up with your own! THIS IS NOT ART CLASS!!
To my SCHOOL - STOP GETTING ARTISTS TO PRETEND THAT THEY ARE PROGRAMMERS! You are wasting my time and cheat us of the few thousand dollars we pay you per month. HELLO! THAT FELLOW CAN’T EVEN TELL C from C++ and HE IS GOING TO LECTURE US FOR ASP?
Can’t imagine I am still angry about this after two years.
To restaurants that “go cheap” on you. Grrrrrrrrr!!! My favorite little chinese restaurant used to have the BEST chicken fried rice. A meal in itself, nice big pieces of real chicken, veggies, sweet peas. Then, they decided to substitute little mini cubes of mystery fake chicken substance and changed the whole recipe!!!
To Round Table Pizza.
We only order once or twice a month on our “Free days” (Bill Philips “Body for Life”), so we really look forward to bacon deli pizza, but what the HECK did you all do to the recipe? Changed out nice crisp bacon bits for soggy, OVERLY salty cheap imitation stuff, put a light hand on the cheese, wave a tomato over the top and call it good.
What was once a delightful treat has become a salty, soggy, no-cheese, no tomato, piece of glorified dried up bread!! Arggggh
OK, I understand that all five thousand of you people sharing the highway with me every single work day have probably NEVER seen a car wreck or fender-bender before. After all, this is only Houston, it’s not like there are wrecks every single fucking DAY or anything. But maybe, just maybe, you could all TRY to override your natural bovine cud chewing mentality long enough to DRIVe and not slow down to watch the cars on the side of the road, OK?
Sweet jebus, if you can’t even manage that, at least try not to slow down to watch two cars pulled over, well on the shoulder, with two people TALKING. Not fist fighting, not setting each other on fire, and not riverdancing. Simply talking. This does NOT justify coming to a complete stop to gaze at the scene. Just. Fucking. DRIVE.