(Mis)Casting your Favorite Book

Inspired by Movies that should be made 2.

What would be the worst possible Hollywood cast for your favorite book? And I’m not talking about something along the lines of “Pauly Shore as <anyone>” type casting (although that’s acceptable, if you think Hollywood would really cast it that way), but more the miscasting of major box office draws and/or flavors of the month for characters that are just all wrong.

An expansion of my list in that thread, in Sharon Lee and Steve Miller’s Liaden Universe series:
Tom Cruise as Val Con–or even worse, Leonardo DiCaprio
Julia Roberts as Miri
Brad Pitt as Shan
Demi Moore as Priscilla
Cameron Diaz as Nova
Jennifer Aniston as Anthora

This is such a honk. Another Korval fan! Though I’d envisioned even worse enormities…

Kate Winslow as Anthora.
Gweneth Paltrow as Nova. (twitch)
Drew Barrymore as Miri.
Kenau Reeves as Nelirikk. (thud)
Julia Roberts as Priscilla. ::giggles!::
Hugh Grant as ValCon. ::smirks::
Brad Pitt as Shan. (mercury turns to lead.)

I tried applying this, for fun, to Barraryar but my barfed in the process: Susan Sarandon as Cordelia, Harvey Keitel as Aral, Michael J. Fox as Miles…it’s too gruesome. Reminds me why I mentally separated books and movies years ago…

Veb

You’re right. I think yours are worse. Hugh Grant as Val Con would kill me, I think. That’s even worse than Brad Pitt as Shan.

How about these additions:
Arnold as Jason
Rosie Perez as Suzuki
Tom Hanks as Mr. dea’Gauss
Jake Lloyd as Gordy
Richard Gere as Justin Hostro
Jack Nicholson as the Commander of DoI

AACK! Stop! Stop! It hurts!

I haven’t recovered from the recent travesty perpetrated on my beloved Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson. Books and movies are separate art forms. Bless the cheapie but GREAT noir films that dragged movies away from plays and books and into their own. They just don’t translate one for one.

Veb
(Oh, hell. As long as we’re doing this…Rutger Hauer as Daav yos’Phelium.)

Rebecca…No, I haven’t seen the Hitchcock version. I’m sure Laurience Olivier and that girl did a great job. Here’s who wouldn’t:

The second Mrs. de Winter:
Jennifer Love Hewitt. Yuck.

Maxim de Winter: Richard Gere.
Seems he’s the older man in every movie lately. Yech.

Mrs. Danvers:
The old woman from Teaching Mrs. Tingle. Grody.

Jasper:
Happy from Seventh Heaven.

Jack, Rebecca’s Cousin:
Sean Connery.

Rebecca (if they have her in flashbacks):
Julia Roberts.

Gwyneth Paltrow is going to be in The Passion.

SACRILEGE!

The old woman? You mean the teacher? Mrs. Tingle? Who was played by Helen Mirren, one of my Top Five actors working right now, whom I will see in everything she does? That old woman? I beg a retraction, or I shall smack you silly with a lasagna pan.

Let’s see, bad casting in a good book I’ve read recently:

In The Sparrow
Father Emilio Sandoz: Charlie Sheen.
Co-starring Jennifer Love Hewitt as the artificial-intelligence expert, Gheorghe Muresan as Jimmy, and a dead Ray Walston on marionette strings as the old astronomer.

Okay okay! ::cringes:: Sorry! I’ll change it to…ah, Goldie Hawn is getting on in years, isn’t she? Or do you love her, too?

Looks like we share the same animosity for Jennifer Love Hewitt, though, Cervaise.

[hijack]
The entire cast of Starship Troopers

And I DEFINITELY agree about the mispostings for Barrayar…ACK!!!

[/hijack]

Well, it wouldn’t even necessarily be someone you think is a poor actor or someone you dislike, merely someone who, despite being completely wrong for the role, Hollywood would cast because he/she would bring in more money, or because he/she plays that “type” of role, or whatever.

Well, he isn’t a regular Hollywood type, but he has been in a movie, so:

Michael Jordan as Bilbo Baggins.

If there’s anyone out there still skeptical about the Lord of the Rings casting, this (written quite some time ago, actually) should put things into perspective…

Bilbo Baggins: Danny DeVito
Gandalf: Marlon Brando
Frodo Baggins: David Spade
Sam Gamgee: Mike Myers
Pippin Took: Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Merry Brandybuck: Robert Downey Jr.
The Witch-king of Angmar: Iggy Pop
Tom Bombadil: Anthony Hopkins
Goldberry: Shannen Doherty
Aragorn: Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bill the Pony: The Taco Bell Chihuahua
Elrond: William Shatner
Arwen: Lucy Lawless
Legolas: Leonardo DiCaprio
Gimli: Dennis Franz
Boromir: Hulk Hogan
Galadriel: Madonna
Celeborn: Regis Philbin
Treebeard: Terry Jones (voice)
Wormtongue: Keanu Reeves
Éomer: Brad Pitt
Éowyn: Elizabeth Berkeley
Théoden: Bruce Willis
Saruman: Roddy McDowall
Gollum: Hugh Grant
Faramir: Luke Perry
Denethor: John Cleese
Sauron: John Leguizamo

The most ridiculous semi-realistic casting decision I’ve seen in awhile is Brad Pitt as John Galt in the elusive “Atlas Shrugged” miniseries. He tops the list of viewer votes.

Heh. Brad Pitt is approaching the “Brad Pitt as <anyone>” level of mis-casting, in my view. Only reason he’s eclipsed by Hugh Grant as Val Con in the Korval cast is because (1) Shan is widely considered less-than-attractive and (2) he would do wonderfully in the “Shan plays the idiot” scenes.

I’m bored…think I’ll do another.

Book: Hunter’s Oath by Michelle West (My fantasy book obsession, as Korval books are my SF book obsession.)

Stephen: Patrick Swayze
Gilliam: Keanu Reeves
Evayne: Shannon Dougherty
Kallandras: Leonardo diCaprio
Espere: Helen Hunt
Lady Elseth: Kathleen Turner