I work as a middle manager in an IT strategy group in a large insurance company. I don’t think people have any conceptions whatsoever about what I do. I’m not even sure if I do.
I used to be in management consulting (I guess for all intents and purposes I still am, just with one big client). Once again, I don’t know if people even have any conceptions about what that is, other than we travel around a lot carrying a Blackberry, a laptop bag and a small rollar suitcase.
That sort of thing really grinds my gears!
Customer - “My kid needs a book for school.”
Me - “Okay, what’s the title?”
Customer - “He didn’t tell me but I think it’s for Geography or Science.”
Me - “Okay, did he tell you what it looked like?”
Customer - “He said it was red or green. Do you have it?”
Me - “I really need to know the title.”
Customer - “Do you not have a list of books they need?”
Me - “Yes, but I still need to know what book in particular it is they need.”
Customer - “Okay, I’ll try the other shop across the road”
ad infinitum et ad nauseum.
This hasn’t come up in awhile but when I was starting out in cancer research in the late 1980s a lot of people seemed to automatically assume that involved torturing animals.
(I do cell and molecular biology, in my 20+ year lab career I have yet to lay a finger on any animal, alive or dead. I suspect the vast majority of people in my field could say the same thing).
In a more general sense some people seem to think lab research involves throwing a bunch of things together in a test tube or petri dish and seeing what happens. Usually we don’t mix stuff together unless we have a pretty good idea something is going to happen, and what that something is. It’s a waste of time and resources otherwise.
Accounting is a barrel of laughs and an exciting party-a-minute. No, really.
lizardling, I’m glad you’re out there. My father was an English major and technical writer for many years and I’m glad it hasn’t completely been given over to the developers.
Teacher here.
My job is not 9 - 3:30 5 days a week with 3 months of holidays. It is more like 7 - 5:00 at least, sometimes I go 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. I can’t drop my job at the end of the day, planning marking, report cards, phone calls to parents keep me working much later in the day.
I am a bartender.
This doesn’t mean that I just hang around all day drinking and having fun. This is what my CUSTOMERS do. People always tell me, “Your job must be so much fun!”
Sure it is. I’m the equivalent of the designated driver. I get to watch everyone else get drunk, and I’m the sober voice of reason. I tell people–not really kidding–that my job is most comparable to an adult day-care center. I am a babysitter of a bunch of drunk idiots. If I’m having a good day at work, you think I’m having lots of fun.
In reality I’m just another person doing a job for the rent money. Sure, I can smoke while I’m working–sure I take a few shots sometimes–but the reality is that I don’t like customer service anymore than anybody else does. People suck. They suck even more when they’re drunk. And nobody’s nearly as funny as they think they are.
I am not having the time of my life. I am not your best friend. I am not your future girlfriend. I am not your psychiatrist. I am not your secretary.
I am just your bartender.
sigh
I was a tech writer too, and this is pretty much what I’d say, although I’d say “marketers” in addition to “developers.” As lizardling points out, we have to know our audiences, and sometimes the Marketing Department gets a little too involved (yes, it does happen). Its instruction to “make it sound important” is at odds with what the intended audience expects. Or, for that matter, can understand.
I work for the federal government. I’m not actually lazy, incompetent, or evil. Also, my retirement plan is not particularly good.
I used to be a facilities manager for the U.S. Dept. of State, working in overseas embassies. My relatives were all convinced - and actually told friends - that I was with the CIA, despite my insistance that the only wet work I did involved roof leaks.
I, too, work for the federal government. I’m not a piece of deadwood, nor am I a clerk/typist. (I am at my desk by 7:00 and deal with complex issues all day).
When I tell people I’m a wildlife biologist and environmental project manager, they hear “environmentalist” like a Greenpeacer or treehugger or something. This I am not.
Yeah, but you have the freedom to work 80 hours a week whenever you want to, and to take time off and earn absolutely nothing whenever you want to. :rolleyes:
Same here – except I write for our customer, not the developers, and these days I’m more of an editor than a writer (my current title is “Technical Editor”). One thing I’ll add is this: Just because you won your 10th grade spelling bee and/or wrote a white paper once does not mean that you could do my job.
Sheesh.
I spent nearly a year as an adult volunteer in a hospital maternity ward (4 hours a night, one night a week), and people always assumed that I got to hang out with the babies the whole time. In reality the babies spent as much time with their moms as possible, and were usually only in the nursery when stuff needed to be done to them – not to mention the fact that I wasn’t supposed to touch the babies (or the moms) in the first place.
I am a sales manager for mobile phones.
I have no ulcer and I’m not going bald. I have not sold my soul to meet sales targets.
I do actually like helping people.
I’m not out to rip people off and I don’t lie to my customers. In fact my customers are much more likely to lie to me than the other way round.
My job does not require that I am a technical wizard. I don’t even like mobile phones.
I’m an auto mechanic/repair shop owner. Misconceptions:
I know all about, and am quite interested in, everything that has anything to do with cars.
I can tell what’s causing a problem simply by hearing a description of the symptom. (Occasionally that’s the case, but most of the time it’s simply not enough info - I have to spend time with the car. Here on the Dope I try my best to be helpful, but it virtually always involves some guesswork and assumptions.)
I know what any given service or repair will cost for any given car, off the top of my head.
It doesn’t take much smarts to learn to fix cars. (It may not take much to learn how to twist wrenches, but doing accurate, efficient diagnosis and proper repairs is more of a challenge for the head than for the hands.)
I have bartended for several of my own gatherings, and that was exactly what I did. Guess I would never make it working in a real bar. 
I teach the violin, in schools, employed by the local authority.
No, I don’t have to put up with squeaking and scratching all day. Most beginners don’t make such sounds. This is partly because of the quality & consistency of the instruments now available, but mainly because as long as they’re taught a decent bow technique from the start, the vast majority of kids can make it actually sound like a violin. The few percent who struggle are those who find the physical demands particularly difficult, plus the bone idle (or chronically disorganised) ones.
No, the seven-year-olds don’t find it all that hard. They’re so unselfconcious that they’ll do all the strange actions necessary without questioning them. Completely different to the older beginners.
Yes, I teach a wide range, right through to 18-year-olds intending to progress to study music at university. Why is that so surprising?
No, I wouldn’t prefer to teach privately. I really don’t understand why people assume this. I can liaising with other staff within schools to position what I do within childrens’ overall music education, am able to work with a wide range of ensembles rather than just in isolated one-to-one lessons, can teach in groups not just for economic reasons but also because it’s often appropriate and enjoyable for all involved. I’ve got decent job security and full professional support. These are all things I would hardly give up lightly.
No, I don’t teach the piano as well 
And last but not least: no, I don’t give a flying fuck about your grandchild/neice/neighbour’s child who is learning the violin, nor am I interested in the story of you briefly learning when you were young before giving up.
When I euthanise someones pet, they very often say, “This must be the most difficult part of your job”. I always want to reply that no, the most difficult part is dealing with government regulations or employee issues. Euthanasia actually comes in around twelfth place.
I’m retired. No, I’m not an old man, nor am I “too young” (I hear that all the time). I’m not “rich”. It just means I have enough income to make it not worth my while to do something 5 days a week that I’m not interested in doing.
If I stumble across a “job” that is something I’ll enjoy and pays well enough to make it profitable to leave the house and kid, I’ll unretire damn quick! In this economy, I ain’t holdin’ my breath!
I’m a lawyer. The misconceptions people have about what lawyers actually do would fill volumes. 
Just because I work in accounting doesn’t mean I know anything about taxes.