My college friend insisted on singing songs “her way” even after we pointed out to her what the actual words were.
My favorite of her renditions was Pearl Jam’s “glorified virgin on a pelican” (version of a pellet gun)
On one of Jone Prine’s albums he tells the story of his lyric “it’s a half-an-inch of water and you think you’re gonna drown” being misinterpreted as “it’s a happy enchilada and you think you’re gonna drown.” Hilarious.
Make that John Prine.
Of course, there are also probably books and threads about misspelling the names of songwriters.
I can’t believe nobody posted this one :
Blinded by the light
Wrapped up like a douch in the middle of the night
There is another line of that song that I still think is “gave my anus curly-whirly”.
Anyone know what the real line is?
Rose
I told you not to be stupid, you moron.
The best one I’ve evr heard was Mariah Carey’s butterfly
“Spread your wings like a pedophile”… (prepare to fly)
Then of course, there’s the Animaniacs theme songs (While Rita sings up purse)
Fine, forgive me for being a kid.
Darn old folk.
“My drinking team has a Rugby problem.”
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“And little ealy birdir gave my arms a curly-whirly” - whatever that means.
i am absolutely horrible at deciphering lyrics and could go on for days if i could remember all the ones i’ve gotten wrong. of the very few i can remember, we have:
- aerosmith’s ‘dude looks like a lady’ i always thought was ‘do it like a lady’
- elton john’s ‘island girls’ i thought was ‘i like girls’
sadly, that is all i can recall at the moment. i’ll try and dig for some more.
… and Lord Derfel: i’m pretty sure it’s ‘make it last forever, friendship never ends…’
“Organs gross me out. That’s organs, not orgasms.”
-the wallster
These are all authentic neuro-trash grrrl originals:
Mama don’t take my chromosomes!
Mama don’t take my chromosomes!
Mama don’t take my chromosomes awaaaaa-aaaay!
Mama don’t take my chromosomes,
If you need to barf then barf at home,
Mama don’t take my chromosomes awaaaaa-aaaay!
Yippie-kay-o! Yippie-kay-ay! No spiders in the sky…
When I was young I knew everything
A Chia Punk who rarely ever took advice…
Do you run… fast enough… Jesus?
Someone to beat your breasts, someone with zest?
Big ol’ Jed and Lionel, don’t carry me too far away…
Whoops, they’re going to close the lab in about five minutes, so those are all I can think of tonight. Rest assured, I’ll be back.
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
I am the queen of misheard lyrics.
I thought Alanis Morisette’s line “cross I bear” was “cross-eyed man”.
And what the heck are the Red Hot Chili Peppers singing - it sounds like, “whisper to shed is a lonely view” to me. Anyone know what the real line is?
Because we share it’s a lonely view?
Whisper instead it’s a lonely view?
Ahh, kindred souls. I, too, live in the world of mishearing. (I’ve actually heard a name for this syndrome, but I can’t think of what it is right now.) Of course, I mishear the people standing next to me, much less songs on the radio. 
There are so many I don’t try to keep track, but there is one that comes to mind.
Back when “Billie Jean” was released, I knew ALL of the lyrics, which told an entire story. Then I read the actual lyrics sheet and discovered that I wasn’t even close. Can’t remember what I thought it was about, though.
Ahh, kindred souls. I, too, live in the world of mishearing. (I’ve actually heard a name for this syndrome, but I can’t think of what it is right now.) Of course, I mishear the people standing next to me, much less songs on the radio.
There are so many I don’t try to keep track, but there is one that comes to mind.
Back when “Billie Jean” was released, I knew ALL of the lyrics, which told an entire story. Then I read the actual lyrics sheet and discovered that I wasn’t even close. Can’t remember what I thought it was about, though.
I think it’s actually: “And little early birdy came by in his curly-whirly,” which makes much more sense with the next line, “And asked me if I needed a ride.”
Oh course, it still begs the question of what, exactly, a “curly-whirly” is.
Another possible stumbling block is that I believe MM’sEB altered the lyrics slightly from Springsteen’s original (from Greetings From Asbury Park, NJ, which is the version I’m more familiar with).
(oh, and the fact that the song is Springsteen at his most trying-to-be-Dylan opaque…)
I’m your only friend
I’m not your only friend
But I’m a little glowing friend
But really I’m not actually your friend
But I am
Oh yeah, “Billie Jean” is a great one. It seems that it was a song about furniture ergonomics.
“Big Old Jet Airliner” is a very fertile field. “Peter, Jed and Linus.” “Big old Jed had a rhino.”
One of the ones I have least excuse for is an old pop song called, and pardon my French, “C’est la vie”. I heard one iteration of this line correctly, but I heard another iteration as “Say, Lovey!” I mean, you’d think I’d make the connection!
There’s an old Blue Oyster Cult song, I think called “Hot Rails to Hell”. The line is “Twelve seven seven express to Heaven.” I though it was “Frog seven seven is rescue heaven.” I had this whole theory about how a rescue crew didn’t like their old rescue vehicle, but their knew one, the Frog 7-7, made their job pure bliss.
I was convinced Sting was singing “I spit earrings into my cereal bowl” (not “Spirits in the Material World”). Also, Judas Priest was “Rakin’ the Lawn” (not “Breakin’ the Law”).
Considering the song is called “Scar Tissue,” I think my interpretation is the correct one:
“With the blood we’ve shed it’s a lonely view…”
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
“With the birds I share this lonely view.”
My favorite misheard song lyric is from that Elton John classic, right after he came out of the closet…
“Hold me close now, Tony Danza…”
That’s hilarious, NTG! My Smartass Alternate Lyric Generator immediately fired up and provided the chorus to your version of this song:
*ChromoSO-O-OMES…they govern eye 'n hair color
And whether you burn in summer
If you skip sunscreen on a sunny DAY - OH - YEAH
And if I HAVE…a problem
I love to blame he-re-dity
So Mama don’t take my chromosomes away
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
I cry FOUL, DB! You stole that line from “Friends”!
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
Because I lust after Anthony Kiedis, I know the words to Scar Tissue. It’s “With the birds I share this lonely view.”
I thought Sarah McLaughlin was singing “And Jews in suits” in Building a Mystery, which I thought was terribly offensive, until I realised it was “Choosing so carefully.”
I’m waiting for my Wally quote.