Because I lust after Anthony Kiedis, I know the words to Scar Tissue. It’s “With the birds I share this lonely view.”
I thought Sarah McLaughlin was singing “And Jews in suits, carefully” in Building a Mystery, which I thought was terribly offensive, until I realised it was “Choosing so carefully.”
I’m waiting for my Wally quote.
I mentioned this before on an earlier incarnation of this topic, but here it is again. When I first heard Barenaked Ladies “One Week”, I had trouble deciphering the phrase “Chickety China, the Chinese chicken”.
All I could hear was “Chicken vagina, the Chinese chicken”.
Chef, that’s what I thought it was too, before I checked the actual lyrics of the song.
I like our version better, though.
That line was on Friends? I’m not much of a fan, or at least I haven’t been for years.
Wow, I could make bizillions as a sitcom writer. Or at least be comfortably well off.
I don’t know if this counts, but when the broadway show Rent came out, I was into it hardcore. Among the Rentheads, there were a few good ones.
[ul][li]One character, in the heat of passion, says “It’s time to get my FREAK on.” It was misunderstood many times as “It’s time to get my Free Corn!”[/li]
[li]In a song about siezing the day, a character says “When the nevers and maybes…die!” Often misunderstood as “When the Neverson Babies die!” One of the FAQs on the official site used to be “Who are the Neverson Babies, and why did they die?”[/ul][/li]
There are others, but they’re only funny if you know the show.
I’m waiting for my Wally quote.
Here’s one:
If you can’t be with the one you love honey, doctor Van Buick.
Which was actually love the one you’re with.
LOL! We always thought it was “With four HUNDRED children and CRAP in the field…”
Another one from college, but I can’t for the life of me remember the song title or band:
“You spin me round, round, like a record baby” was heard as:
“You spin me round, round, like a rabid baby”
I just have this image of someone spinning a mad, drooling baby over their head!
Oh, somebody mentioned “Love the One You’re With”. When I was young, I thought the chorus went “…and if you can’t be with the one you love, honey, YOU’RE the one you’re with.” Then I was listening to it in the car with my mother, and I sang that, and she doubled over in laughter (a bad thing, since she was driving). I still like my way better.
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
Up until ver recently, I always thought that in Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Gimme Three Steps,” instead of singing, “Gimme three steps, gimme three steps mister,” I thought Mr. Van Zant was actually singing, “Gimme three steps, gimme three steps and miss.”
I like it better my way, actually…
Yer pal,
Satan
I don’t believe that anybody has mentioned the term mondegreen yet. The term is defined, and many examples given, at: http://www.enteract.com/~jessicar/lyrics/
Not only does God play dice, he cheats!
I think the line is supposed to be “and then a little early birdie came by English curly whirly, and asked my if I needed a ride.”
And a curly-whirly is supposed to be a helicopter.
I heard all this on WNEW before they switched formats…It Scott Muni says it, then it must be true.
After reading this thread, I thought, gee, I haven’t heard “Lucille” in a looong time. I went and dug up the old Kenny albums, ( on vinal no less) and played the song. Guess what? I can’t listen to it without belting out " You bitch, you slut, you whore, you suck, you swallow, etc…" after the first line of the chorus! < shakes head>
I have a friend who always sings " Don’t let your son go down on me…" to the Elton John song. I wonder what he thinks the song is about?
Cecil said it. I believe it. That settles it.
Oh, I forgot mine–
“I’ll never hear your pizza burning.”
S’posed to be “I’ll never be your beast of burden,” of course.
That’s the punchline of a joke. I forget the joke, but it has something to do with Elton John and Michael Jackson…
In Van Morrison’s “Brown-eyed Girl,” the actual lyrics are “Going down the old road with a transitor radio” (or something close), but I swore they were “Gunning down the old man with a transitor radio.” In Simon and Garnfunkel’s “The Boxer,” they sing “Just a Come on from the whores on seventh avenue,” but I thought it was the war zone seventh avenue. Probably the funniest, there’s a White Zombie (or similiar band) song that goes “More human than human,” but until last week, I thought it was “Paul Newman Paul Newman!” over and over again.
“I need the biggest seed bell you have. . . no, that’s too big.”–Hans Moleman
A few weeks ago at work, I was outside with a friend smoking during break. We got on the subject of misheard lyrics, and we shared a few fun stories, and I told her to check out www.kissthisguy.com. Anyway, later on in the day, she sends me an email consisting merely of the lyrics “goody-good, goody-good, goody goody two shoes, goody-good, goody-good, goody goody two shoes.” (The song is called “Goody Two Shoes,” I think, and was by Adam Ant.) So, I decide to be all cool and finish the lyrics, and I reply with:
“Don’t drink, don’t smoke, watch the Looney Toons.”
Which, I honestly had believed to be the lyrics for several years. She emails me back, saying "dude, that was so funny, did you get that off www.kissthisguy.com?" At which point I get that sinking feeling in my stomach, and I frantically looked up the actual lyrics, then realized that I had been making an ass of myself for years. (The real lyrics are “don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do you do.” I rather like my version better.)
My boyfriend thought this line from Prince’s “When Doves Cry”–“Maybe I’m just like my father, too bold”–was “Maybe I’m just like my father, Tubo.” Ah, Tubo. He was a good man.
I, however, reign as the master of misinterpretation in this relationship. Just a few of the ones I remember:
I thought “The funk soul brother” was “The funk’s so rubber.” (I dunno, I thought it was some new hip jargon!)
For years I thought “Voices Carry” was “t’was so scary.”
And dammit, there’s many more than that, but I’ve been staring at the screen for a couple of minutes and can’t think of what they are. I’ll be back. Oh yes, I will be back.
Teaching: The ultimate birth control method.
ThisYearsGirl, yes it was White Zombie. The first time I heard it, I thought he was saying “More human than you, man…”
Heck is where you go when you don’t believe in Gosh.
In the Stone’s “Start Me Up” there’s the line “You make the grown men cry,” which I originally heard as “You make the protein fly.” Interesting image, isn’t it?
There are also times you hear lyrics correctly but the actual meaning goes over your head. Not long ago I was listening to the Jackson Browme album “Running On Empty” and heard the song “Rosie” for the 200th time or so.
“Rosie you’re all right/you wear my ring/when you hold me tight/Rosie that’s my thing/when you turn out the light/I’ve got to hand it to me.”
(Jackson Browne and Donald Miller, Assylum Records, 1977)
I’ve even been known to sing the refrain along with the song (provided no one is around to hear me): “Looks like it’s you and me again tonight…Rosie…looks like it’s you and me again tonight.” A mellow song.
Then for the first time I actually thought about those lyrics…and realized they’re about masturbation. Did I ever play that song for my mother…?