I think that telling anyone to calm down is guaranteed to infuriate them.
A couple of points. Uno, you (and Larry) are dead wrong about racism being moderated on this board. It’s rare. It’s not tolerated by the members very well, buts that a whole different matter. Just as this issue shouldn’t be moderated.
And two-o, this isn’t racism. And I’m not sure I’m seeing your case anyway. Isn’t calling all men pigs due to one bad experience just as bad a case of profiling or some other kind of -ism or -ogyny?
Oh please, that is patently false. The TITLE of the OP was MOL riffing on the “Y U NO” meme that’s going around the internet. If you really and truly think that because of that joke title she is addressing all guys then I’ll need your decoder ring because the entire OP she wrote is bitching about ONE GUY she had a bad experience with. She doesn’t call out all men to explain or blame, she bitches about one guy. Please explain to me how that’s addressing all men.
Also, you honestly think that she really and truly hates everyone or do you think that she was exasperated and used a bit of hyperbole for humor sake? Seriously, you took away from that OP that she hates everybody? Every man, woman, child, and beast is now on her shit list per your best guess?
Un-fucking-real.
If you can’t control your own emotions. People say shit to me all the time thats offensive. It only hurts if I think it’s true myself. I know who I am. People don’t infuriate me. I let myself get infuriated.
Especially on a message board, in the comfort of your home when you have time to think it over.
Expressing justified anger is not a lack of control. Being infuriated and directing at the person who angered you is not lack of control. You can call angry women any dismissive term you want, it doesn’t make it so.
And women on this board never say anything mean about men, and are always so understanding and sympathetic about men’s concerns.
I could explain that I was not intending it to be actually funny, but just a snarky play on . . . Fuck it. If I have to explain it it wasn’t worth saying.
Well, DUH! If you weren’t it wouldn’t be all ironical and all.
Sir or madam, I apologize, but if you are such a delicate flower that a stupid joke like that, and an unsurprising reaction to your reaction, can drive you away from here for several years, you should be careful that you admit it. Folks 'round these parts can smell blood from quite a long way away and you just dropped a bloody Bandaid into the pool.
Yes, some people here can be jerks and I am not asking you to forgive them. Instead, see it as a view into [del]Male[/del] [del]Human[/del] Social Mammal Culture. We are not always nice to each other. We are constantly seeking cracks in each other’s facades to try to make the other react. A reaction can take many forms; I usually go with making a stupid joke at my expense in a passive-aggressive attempt to defuse the situation, but others get hostile, which tells everybody that there is blood in the water and it is party time. If you play along the digs will not get too personal and you can even have fun, too, with your parries and ripostes. If you ignore it then everybody gets bored and tries to find some fun elsewhere.
But I think what happened in that thread was that you fought back. There is nothing wrong with fighting back; my second and third reactions are successful ways to fight, the second to earn respect and the third to maintain the status quo or even earn status by demonstrating that you are above it all. But it sounds like you took it too personally and showed that this was one of your weaknesses. You stood alone on Last Stand Hill while the Sioux counted coup on you, then you ran away. Which is your right; there is no good reason to put up with that shit when few of us actually know each other, and the bad reason is to get along and maybe get back at them when they least expect it by whacking them with your own satirical coup stick. But people do it and if you have more than one pet dog you’ll see that they do it. Everybody wants to show they are tough enough to belong to the group, and the gang of geeks and wiseasses here is just like the cool girls at the cool girls table in junior high. It’s why we warn newbies to stay out of the Pit until they have learned the culture.
Oh, one last thing: What they showed wasn’t hate. Maybe it was annoyance with your post. Possibly it was distaste for your views. Probably it was a little of both but mostly it was just fun to poke the bear. But it wasn’t hate. One thing I’ve learned here is that people forget who you are the moment they click the “Submit Reply” button.
I pretty much think the guys should suck it up.
Maybe if the misogyny went away, which would be really simple- don’t post anything that degrades women as a gender- then guys could complain about guy things and expect any kind of sympathy from women.
But if women run into 10 troll comments a day degrading them, I don’t think they’ll be very sympathetic to any concerns, real or imagined, that men have. Why should they?
If I go to school, and a bully punches me in the face 10 times a day, I don’t think I’d give a flying crap if I heard that his dad beats him on a regular basis. I’m just not interested in his complaints at that point.
So just let me see if I understand this correctly, guys in that thread speak hyperbolically and they are insensitive assholes, I respond in a hyperbolically style similar to the OP of the thread in question here and I’m clueless but MOL can sling hyperbole like hash in a cheap greasy spoon and its fine and dandy? Gotcha.
Thank you for fairly dramatically illuminating my point. Sorry it went over your head.
It is if it means you can’t follow the rules of the forum you’re posting in. Personal insults were hurled in the original thread, long before it was sent to the pit, and then in the pit, someone was told to go fuck himself. And that was all before the “calm down” remark.
That thread read as spun out of control to me, and IMO, some of the out of control posters are still showing their asses and looking for reasons to be angry (and therefore “justifiably” insulting).
That has nothing to do with what I was responding to.
Point of clarification: at SEVERAL points in that thread (which I do assume you’ve read at this point), I and many others pointed out how darned misandrist those saying that men can’t control themselves are. So, don’t waltz in her and claim that any of the feminist side of the debate ever claimed all men are pigs. If anything, it was the folks we’re talking about up at the top of this thread who are guilty of painting men with a wide and dehumanizing brush.
How about any time women post anything about their bodies and you get 15 posts from socially inept trolls saying “PICS?!” or “CITE?!” Or threads where women ask for tips on getting a better fitting bra and you get a bunch of idiots posting that HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK I’D APPLY FOR THE JOB HYUCK!"
At least this time you’re actually checking to see if you understand things correctly instead of spouting off incorrectly. You claimed that she was directing her OP at all men and that was pure unadulterated bullshit. Now you’re glossing over that and just addressing the hyperbole which you claim you were using earlier and are now smugly pretending you hit a homerun over my head? Bless your heart.
DiosaBellissima, the point of this thread is should misogyny be moderated against. You seemed to agree because you think racism is. I’m speaking out against more moderation and pointing out your analogy doesn’t hold and is wrong. This board is so uptight you couldn’t get a straight pin up its asshole with a sledgehammer. The last thing we need is more rules. I’m sorry that what happened to MOL happened. I’m not apologizing for bad manners or insensitive attitudes but I do believe this thread is way over the top.
And knowing this board culture the way I do, I’m smart enough not to ask for bra advise here. There are better and more appropriate places for that.
You owe me a new irony meter.
Are you serious?
Firstly, there are no universal standards to determine what is misogynistic.
Secondly, many things women and some men take as misogynistic are real persons life experiences. Should they not post them?
Thirdly, Im not so sure women need to be protected from anonymous speech that they are quite free to challenge aggressively.
Tell me where to send it and I’ll send you a program to keep your photos straight as well.
Sure it does. It just doesn’t serve your point.
In any case, it appears this topic is past the “semantic nitpicking” phase, and into the “settling personal scores with specific posters I don’t like” phase. I’m a mostly lurker, so I have no dog here.
Well at least you’ve conceded the real issue and have had to resort to petty name calling to make your point. You put yourself in good company, too. Well done.
What board culture would that be? Could it possibly be one of misogyny?