Of course she can’t, as that’d probably run afoul of board rules (bringing off-board business onto the board). Can you please let it go, or else start your own thread, or else PM her? The name of the alleged perpetrator has nothing to do with this thread.
Edit: also, lynch mobs generally had the victim on-hand; they didn’t lynch a person in absentia and refuse to divulge the victim’s identity. And lynch mobs murdered people, they didn’t gather together and string up an anonymous allegation on a messageboard. Just, y’know, FYI.
I’m sorry, did you hit your head and wake up thinking you were in Tombstone? Lynch mob? So dramatic! Yes, yes I am calling for a virtual lynch mob of an anonymous doper man. That would entail what, exactly? I gave a one comment answer to **dropzone **in regards to his version of dopefests and how it isn’t the same for everyone.
I had zero intention of bringing it up again so your directive to “let it go” is pretty hilarious considering that it was y-o-u who wants to continue the discussion. Present more evidence or let it go. Good stuff.
On preview I see I am nominating **Giraffe *to be our stand-in anonymous doper for our virtual lynch mobbing! We will need a very tall fake scaffolding and a very short rope since he’s super tall. On a personal note I’d like to put glitter on the rope as my personal tribute to his FABulousness and I am asking Inner Stickler to be my sidekick and tap the trapdoor with a wand three times when we’re ready for SHOWTIME!
[SIZE=1]*This[SIZE=1], of course, is just a joke and not to be taken seriously by those with OBS (online butthurt syndrome) or the humor impaired[SIZE=1] although I would tot[SIZE=1]es make the glitter rope for our good pal **Gira[SIZE=1]ffe. **[/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE][/SIZE]
I disagree and I will elaborate that I find your demands to be more than a bit jerkish. As excessively public some people are, we are all allowed our privacy and others, like Sleeps’s confidante, must have theirs. We are not here to out each other.
ETA:
And I always thought Giraffe was straight. I learn new stuff here all the time. [/gratuitous gay joke]
Really? FloatyGimpy, made an unfortunate mistake. But rape? Really? Because her “Gut” told her she might get beat up?
How would that be any different than me accusing a black man of robbery because he was giving me a funny look and I felt that if I didn’t give him all my cash; he would shoot me?
But sometimes, in order for the culture on the board to grow and change and mature, you have to have patience with people who are trying to get involved with the conversation, even if they don’t agree with you on every point. Because otherwise, you ignore that lots of people who are on the same side are going to disagree on side points and if we turn on each other over that, then it is US who is suffocating the chance for the board culture to grow into a less misogynistic atmosphere. You know what I’m saying? Because some people that you have on your side in this thread are people who WEREN’T on the same side as Tracy in her threads. Hard to moderate it perfectly, because we are all still growing and learning what is acceptable and what isn’t.
I may disagree with you about whether or not Tracy Lord was trolling for a reaction. That doesn’t mean I disagree with you about the need for women to feel safe posting about their medical issues or whatever without worrying about men asking for boob pics.
You have posted things in the past that I have thought were on the wrong side when it comes to women’s issues. I never said to you that I don’t think you are a feminist because of that, though. I never said that you are ‘no better than men on the board who have rape culture mentality’ or whatever that was that you tried to imply upthread.
I trusted that your overall posting habits tell the true story of your stand on women’s issues, and I really am surprised to see that you haven’t afforded me the same benefit of the doubt.
I am actually a bit annoyed at the ‘oh gosh golly take both sides’ shit you tried to hang on me, because that is not my style at all, and I am proud of it. I’m proud to be the kind of person who can state my position on any topic with courage of my convictions, and still leave room to grow and see all sides of an issue, even the offshoots and side issues.
I agree with people in these threads who are saying that MOL was a hundred percent in the right, but I don’t agree with some posters in these threads who are saying things like, “rape jokes are never ok”. Am I not on the right side if I disagree with that? Am I contributing to rape culture?
We all need room to learn and grow on this board. Things we said two or three years ago may be something we have matured from now. Because we debate and argue and fuss and stretch and grow. But we can’t do that if we get shut down every time someone disagrees with us about the smaller details of an issue that we are on the same side on. None of us are perfect, and some of us have different ideas about what ideas or expressions represent feminism. But overall, I think you haven’t been fair in these discussions, and I think that is a small hindrance to getting board culture to be more fair to women posters.
This has really had an effect on me, because there are certain posters here who have talked about their rapes and assaults, and who I know are feminists. In the interest of not offending them by getting sidetracked with smaller, side discussions on a topic that may be very painful for them, I have decided not to post in future threads about women and rape or sexual assault or topics like that, outside of showing my support for the main point. I am fine to bow out in respect of those posters. But I didn’t want to let the matter drop without letting you know that I think you have been unfair in these discussions, ladyfoxyfyre.
We should be able to discuss these matters, even disagreeing on some of the points of the matter, with respect and not with accusing each other of being on the wrong side, just because we disagree on certain aspects of women’s issues. Again, if I judged you by things you’ve said in the past, I would be wrong. I know that even though I have disagreed with some things you have said that I consider not good for women overall, I know you are on the right side of the fight and didn’t mean any harm and are capable of growing and maturing.
Mods cannot be omnipresent. We can not possibly read every post in every thread. If you find a misbehavior, REPORT IT. Sexist, racist etc comments are (in my experience) usually moderated.
I do remind y’all again that there’s often a fine line between a gentle joking and a sexist/racist/etc comment. And we want to have diverse opinions here. That means that we don’t squash someone for holding a minority opinion. Yes, we allow racists/sexists/etc here, so long as they behave themselves. We do NOT use an immediate banhammer as someone suggested. We do not want boards where everyone holds the same white-bread opinion. We tolerate a wide range, so long as they do not break the rules.
We also want board where people can have a sense of humor, and not be regulated by thought-police. However:
When you see something that you think violates this, then, f’r cryin’ out loud, REPORT IT. Don’t just sit back and be offended, and wait for a thread like this one to vent all your pent-up anger. The mods do the best job they can, but if you don’t report violations, then you’re not helping.
I think we are talking about two entirely different types of behavior here. I am not asking that “everyone with an opinion that differs from me” be moderated about it. I’m asking that the posts like in the Tracy Lords thread be met with moderation akin to “This is not on topic, knock it off”. That’s all.
We have a ton of threads on MRA, feminism, etc. where we do debate the merits of different things, and sometimes those threads are productive and other times posters say things like “When you women can calm down a little bit maybe we can talk about it.” The former is healthy discussion of issues, the latter (given the context of the rest of the stuff he’d said up to that point) can only be construed as misogyny. Sure, CK Dex thinks that misogyny is a word with such loose definitions that even “lighthearted ribbing” would qualify to some, which really only serves to diminish the very real existence of it in other forms by providing those perpetrators with a ready-made and convenient excuse of “Ah, I was just joking! Ha ha ha!”
Good, then we are on the same side.
And I don’t agree with a lot of the things currently being posted in the Pit thread at this moment. C’est la vie.
What I said upthread was that by characterizing her thread as “trolling” you’re doing the internet equivalent of saying “she was asking for it”, which is silly because it totally relieves the guys who were being assholes of any responsibility. Which is exactly what the guys in that thread were doing themselves, by saying “well she said ‘boobs’ first so that means we can talk about her boobs and that she only wanted to talk about her boobs so boobs boobs and why are you getting mad”.
So essentially by deciding that she’s trolling you’re shifting the focus away from the shitty behavior and rationalizing it. But ask yourself, even if she was trolling (which for the record I don’t think she was), would it have even been effective if there was not a culture here in which every thread that mentions female anatomy resulted in a bunch of guys falling all over themselves to run in and talk about tit pics and such? So even in saying she was trolling, you’re admitting that the only way it could have been effective was if there was a culture here in which the responses would be predictable and expected.
Then I apologize for that. It is good to be open minded enough to take in everybody’s experiences and reassess your own feelings on the matter.
You want my honest opinion? Yes, by saying rape jokes are ok you are contributing to rape culture. The problem is that sometimes when a woman says something that a man says on an issue related to women’s issues, that implicit or explicit approval becomes worth a thousand times more weight because it’s presumed she’s speaking on behalf of all women when she acknowledges it as ok. It’s fucked up but it’s true.
That’s your right to think, of course. I think there are a number of posters that have been much meaner than I have in those threads and that’s their right too.
But I haven’t accused you of being on the wrong side, I have accused you of saying things which are harmful to the cause. I know you are on the right side of this, but again, in your efforts to be very open minded and collecting everyone’s points on the matter, you have said things that I would consider not good for women overall also. So while you are accusing me of being unfair, saying that posters who receive a backlash of harassing posts were “trolling for it” and that “maybe rape jokes are ok sometimes” are harmful to the side that we are both on.
Small note: I have seen people making the suggestion that perhaps our poster Tracy Lord is suspicious because she named herself after porn star Tracy Lords, but the first thing that came to my mind is that she named herself after the character in The Philadelphia Story, Tracy Lord.
Given that the post in the OP was reported almost immediately, while the thread was in MPSIMS, and has not been moderated, I would appreciate an explanation. It was pretty clearly beyond the level of lighthearted joking, instead dismissing the opinions of a group of people in a contemptuous fashion.
I typed up a reply to this, and put it in one of the Pit threads here, not because I thought it was pitworthy, but because this discussion is far afield from the way the message board is run. Hope you don’t mind.
Does everyone know what misogyny means? Hatred or dislike.
I’m certain I’ve made all kinds of remarks during my life that I thought were funny that were insensitive to women. But at no point is the true driver of those comments hatred or dislike for women.
I would think someone that genuinely hates or dislikes women (or men) is a relatively rare person.
It seems to me that isn’t really the correct term to be used when discussing the board’s culture.
I believe you. But as a straight man that has probably watched less porn/read “gentlemans” magazines than 99.9 percent of the male population even I recognized the name Tracy Lord as a porn star.
Either she was one clueless person or she was trying to be sneaky.
Hmmmm. maybe I should change my username to Ron Jeremey. You know, that character that was in that twilight episode way back when.