Only thongs? I could go so much further, if I were being nasty.
Nah, seriously, the only way to save it is to emphasize talent. Just being a hottie shouldn’t be enough to make me care, & most of these lasses I don’t find really attractive anyway.
I liked** Burrido**'s & AHunter3’s ideas, though. And** caveman** has a point.
Well, I just threw in the nudity because naked women and my life are two things that never intersect. But the rest of it seems good.
Certainly the concept of beauty has changed enough that for women being competent, intelligent, and capable is more important than twirling and telling us how to bring about world peace. Basically, think of a show like American Idol where public voting plays a role, for example, and lasts long enough to get to know the participants. If it’s not co-ed, there’s fifty contestants, which is a lot, but I’m sure we can get a look at everybody over the course of a television season.
And instead of lame, stupid games, perhaps they could make it more intellectual or meaningful; e.g., show highlights of the scrabble tournament, have a tire changing competition, hedge-maze races, remove ten slivers from Steve O’s butt (because every beautiful person should know how to remove a sliver), &c.
It’d be a winner, I’m telling 'ya!
Better yet, the Golden Palace Casino. Points would be awarded for most creative tattooing of the sponsor’s logo on contestants’ bodies.
Sounds like an average day on the SDMB. 
Gak. I say let it go.
I don’t think you could have found a 50c cup of coffee anywhere in 1967. Maybe the Waldorf-Astoria or a Playboy Club.
Even thirty-plus years ago, when I was a kid, the Miss America pageant was something only old ladies like my grandmother watched.
So, while I agree that Miss America is a dated concept that ought to judt go away, it’s ridiculous to suggest that it was ever some sort of sexist show designed to let men drool over girls in swimsuits. As I recall, you couldn’t pay young, straight males enough to sit through that yawn-fest.
In fact, in the past 10 years, the only people I’ve actually seen watching ANY kind of beauty pageants on TV are women, who watched to make catty comments about the contestants.
I think the winner should be the woman is this proposed reality TV show.
Maybe the runners-up could be the ones who go into “business”.
Introduce a human cloning element and put it on QVC so you can purchase your favorite contestant.
:smack:
I work at anime conventions. How did I forget the Final Fantasy cosplay?!
Oh, and speaking of anime conventions, any contestant caught wearing a Naruto forehead protector is thrown into the Deep Damp Pit Full of Hungry Ducks for the remainder of the competition.
I wouldn’t think it was forgetting so much as repressing.
The mother of a very good friend of mine was a Miss America! In the early 50’s, but have forgotten exactly which year.
The contest used to be the epitome of high kitch. Everybody loved to see the horrible tap dancing, the unbelievable batons on fire being thrown into the air, plus the truly atrocious “dramatic readings” by women who clearly had no (other)talent whatsoever…and it was always fun to see the faces frozen in smiles in the background who were not picked thinking, “that bitch” when they announced the finalists. It was great fun to watch with a group.
How to save it? Let Simon Cowell have the franchise. Show hoards of women in stadiums lining up and auditioning…then let them select fifty, and then let the audience phone in the results…who knows, maybe a somewhat chunky, intelligent woman might actually win that way.
Miss America cage match.
Fifty contestants enter. Only one leaves.
Regards,
Shodan
If they paid each viewer $100 to sit through the charade, it’d be a ratings winner.
Hey everyone — the Miss America pageant has fifty-one contestants. Don’t forget the District of Columbia.
Fifty, I say. I’ll be damned if I recognize Missoura!
This is my experience too. Men don’t watch beauty pagents.
I like the idea to introduce Simon Cowell as a judge. Maybe they could get a couple of mean, nasty judges who’d make MST3K-style comments for the audience’s enjoyment.
“Her boobs are so fake”
“We’re supposed to believe that’s her real nose? Yeah, right.”
Tapioca, they’re having financial problems. Where are they going to get $2700?
Fifty two. There’s also a Miss Virgin Islands. (Insert your own joke here.)
Not all meant to be adapted at the same time, but some suggestions:
Instead of prepared questions and answers, give each contestant 2 minutes to answer a phoned in question from some simpleton crackhead, a la Love Line. Bonus points to those that actually understand the question and to those that use up the full 2 minutes without obviously filling for time.
Tieing cherry stems into knots with only your tongue is considered a talent worthy of the talent portion.
To help a little with the money issues: Allow designers to pay for the right to design the suits and select the contestant who will wear it. This portion might get very interesting as designers constantly seek to outdo one another and stand out.
Add a “no make-up” portion to the show.
Separate the pageant into two pageants. One for “enhanced” women, and one for the unenhanced. The enhanced pageant can award bonus points for things like “least visible scars”.
Break the contestants into teams and put them through a “Double Dare” game, complete with “Physical Challenges”.
Hold the competition after a night out barhopping endorsed and paid for by the pageant.
Bring out the boyfriends and husbands of the contestants and ask them embarrassing questions about past partners.
Bunk the girls in pairs according to states that typically don’t like one another (Virginia with W. Virginia, NJ with NY, etc.) and record the results for later editing and inclusion in the show.
Get rid of the hosts… let it be free form.
Shorten the length of the show by breaking it up into several hour long episodes over a week.