I would like to share with you some of the images with which I was presented, some harrowing and some legitimately lovely.
It was hosted by Tony Danza and just happened to be co-hosted by a woman named Angelam, so I was privy to several “Yo Angela”'s. Several “Yo Angela”'s make the baby jesus cry.
Next, in an attempt to bring the reality aspect of modern entertainment to the show, they asked all of the losers how they felt directly after they shuffled off the stage, in a true “Weakest Link” fashion. Most were speechless, but how could you expect them to recite something they had not rehearsed a hundred times over. The one that chimed in sounded like she actually had a brain.
It really was wierd to see all the losers sitting there in the same room, an off-stage green room of sorts. It was filled with all this crazy nervous energy and I think they were just a broken nail away from swarming out on stage like a pack of rabid wild dogs and beating the new Miss America senseless - tiaras and pearls flying everywhere like the scene in Cinderella when Drusella and Anastasia name go postal on her before the ball.
During the bikini walks I imagined those dog shows, the part when trainers walk around with their dogs, but the owners didn’t have dogs, or… the dogs didn’t have owners… or leashes.
Miss NY and Miss DC were both included in the last five finalists, I wonder if that was just a PC gimmick.
Whoever that was on the piano kicked ass.
All in all I am glad I watched it. Like anything, I was blessed with some lovely images and some definite reminders of how wonderfully bizzare life can be.
That was Ms. Tennessee. My kids liked her, then they REALLY liked Ms. DC with the twirling act. They didn’t like the two that sang, but they did enjoy the ballet. I think we should let five year olds judge these things. My two favorite quotes of the night:
From the five year old, “Now THAT’S more like it” when someone wore a pink bathing suit.
From my three year old, “How does she do that?” during the baton routine.
They didn’t like the winner, Ms. Oregon?, who sang opera. Too skinny was their call.
Mrs. ShibbOleth and I were appalled that only two knew the inscription on the Statue of Liberty. And I am guessing that they are getting Tony Danza very, very cheap.
Miss Tennessee and Miss D.C. were excellent. It’s rare to see someone play the piano with as much enthusiasm as Miss TN. Miss D.C.'s twirl dance was amazing–she made baton twirling look so easy!
I may have interpreted this wrong, but did the audience start clapping before Miss Oregon had finished singing?
The “Miss America Quiz” was…interesting. I think they should have added “What is 2+2?” as one of the questions.
You know, Miss New York seemed very familiar to me. I think I may have seen her before. Has she appeared on any other national show before the pageant?
The feeling around here was that Miss New York was a lock until she started singing. One of us offered 10:1 she’d be picked; wish I had taken him up on it.
I flipped past it momentarily…in time to see Miss Oregon talk about herself on tape. She was going on and on about how much she loved drinking water…her favorite possession was her water bottle, the special place in her bag for holding said bottle, etc. That pretty much clinched it for me to grab the remote.
No doubt the next contestant started talking about how much she liked air, it was her favorite thing to breathe…
I didn’t watch the whole way through, but I particularly enjoyed the opening introductions, in which each contestant stood on a dias and greeted the audience with a tidbit about their homestates.
My favorite was little Miss Nevada:
“Hello, my name is [Miss Nevada]. Greetings from Nevada, home of” – pause the length of One Thousand One --“the Hoover Dam!”
Ha ha ha. That poor girl. She didn’t make the first cut, and I bet she hasn’t stopped kicking herself.
