Just when I think everyone’s complaining about the materialistic attitude this season generates is just so much whining . . .
I was shopping today at what passes for our major department store (which shall remain nameless but which might rhyme with “Millards”) when I see these stacks of little cards by the register. You are encouraged to take one, fill it out, and give it to your “personal Santa” – i.e, someone you think might be getting you a gift.
The outside cheerfully announces in three-color script “A GIFT for ME!” (Well, I suppose they get points for frankness.) The inside says: “I was shopping at Millards and I saw the following [space for item] in [space for department], and just loved it! You can ask [space for salesperson] where to find it! [Space for fuller description of item, including size and color.]”
Well ho ho effin’ ho! What better way to convey that meaningful holiday message “I expect a gift from you and I don’t trust you to have enough taste to pick out a decent one, because not only am I a greedy pig, I’m a picky one”? Am I the only one who thinks that this is a new low in tastelessness? I can’t even imagine what I would say or do if any of my friends or loved ones had the cajones to hand me such a card.
What would you do if someone gave you such a card? What do you think about a store even setting them out?
Now, I’ll admit that my family will ask me for suggestions about what to get my son (age 16 and fussy doesn’t being to describe his tastes), but, for me, the selecting of that oh, so perfect gift is what makes it such a joy. I work at it year round.
I do have one friend who subscribes to the “practical gift” giving society, and one of these days, I’m going to buy her a case of toilet paper “gee, I hope the size is ok, I had to guess about the color…”
This is incredibly grabby and rude, but lighting it ablaze would be rude, too. If you got one of these you could pleasantly reply, “It was so sweet of you to think of helping me out,” then ignore the request and buy what you want. “Yanni’s Greatest Hits,” perhaps.
Aack! That is incredibly tacky. I s’pose it makes good business sense though (assuming more customers fall for it than are disgusted and go elsewhere).
If I got one of these and were still going to buy this materialistic person a gift, I would make a donation in his/her name to the humane society and include THAT in a card to them. Hint, hint- it’s about GIVING. Sheesh!
Well, it was mostly a joke, but if it’s someone I truly despise, then my basis of judgement is one rude action deserves another. If it was one of my friends doing it, I’d be frank and tell them that was silly, and that I already had gotten them a present.
On a similar note, I have a friend who sent her toddler son’s “wish list” to me. I see this kid maybe once per year, and he has no idea who I am. She did the same last year, with a note that actually said, “In case you were wondering what to get him…”
Same friend also sent her own and her husband’s lists to pretty much everyone they know.
These are people I rarely see, and who deliberately invited far-away relatives to their wedding because they figured the ones who couldn’t make the trip would feel compelled to buy them bigger presents.
p.s.
I don’t have a problem with online wish lists, but handing them out to people who haven’t asked for them is about as presumptuous as you can get.
Actually, it can be a good idea. For some people who can’t pick up on hints (like me), some people being rather blunt at times helps. My mom will pick something out and “suggest” it to me. I don’t see it as being greedy. She usually picks out something that costs less than I was planning to spend, but would rather have that. This, of course, should only be given by someone you know FOR SURE was going to give you something. Otherwise it looks like being demanding.
My family does something similar, we circulate wish lists. It’s not as bad as what you’re describing because we’re all basically okay with it so it doesn’t come as a surprize to anybody.
After many years of receiving unwanted porcelain figurines & enormous cans of candied popcorn, I think it’s great that I no longer get gifts that I have to bury in the back yard. Now I get things that I need, and I know that the money I spend on gifts for others is not wasted.
My mother always has me make a gigantic list, and then she picks and chooses what to get me…(I still get gifts under the tree, living at home has it’s perks…:D)
That’s almost as bad as: Toys R’ Us now has a registry for a kid’s birthday party!
I worked for a couple of years at a plus sized clothing store for women. If any of you are big, you know what I mean when I say that we need to try thre stuff on first!
We would often keep a list for our regulars that kept track of the style, SIZE, color etc of items that suited them - then if their husbands/moms/ whatever wanted to get htem clothes, they could say go to “Spotten Dinny” and ask the clerk.
There is nothing like being fat, and getting the wrong size for a gift, then you get to ask for the receipt etc…
Here is a clue: if you give a big woman clothes, and she never wears them - they didnt fit, and she was too embarrassed to ask you for the receipt.
We werent as gaudy about it as this place thought Jodi - it sounds pretty crass how they did it.
I’m rendered nearly speechless. How in heaven’s name do people justify this behavior?
I was a little startled today when I picked up my Sunday LA times from the lawn and out fell a little card from my delivery guy, wishing me a happy holiday, and printed with his mailing address. Gee…should I take the hint?
But then again…given that I have never laid eyes on him in my life, what choice does he have if he wants to help me give him some money at the end of the year.
Do you guys do that? Your postal carrier, newpaper deliverer, etc (I don’t give gifts to anyone at all on Christmas, so I’m outta the loop on this)
My local newspaper offers the option of checking off an extra amount when subscribing for “carrier gratutity”. I didn’t, because carriers change. One was a total doofus, do much so I cancelled my subscription. The guy who delivers now is great, so there ya have it: one more complication of modern life.
I really liked the answers from catrandom and Zette. Shame on “Millards” for this blatant tackiness. They’re in business to make money, but betcha the little “greed cards” revolt more customers than not.
Sheesh. Yeah, that one is pretty lame. Company probably doesn’t want to go through the expense of a registry (If you want to be practically materialistic, that is the way to go.) Also, I bet the clerks are on commish, so that is why the name of the clerk is included.
Surely the perfect gift in response to this extremely tasteless card would be an etiquette book. Obviously, a person who would hand out such a card is in much greater need of Miss Manner’s Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior than of anything they could possibly have listed on the silly card in the first place.
I should specify here that it is not rude to give a ‘wish list’ to someone who asks you for one. But to give them out unsolicited? Tacky, tacky, TACKY!
And, if I gave someone an etiquette book in response to such a gesture, I would exert supreme self-control and NOT highlight the chapters on ‘Soliciting Gifts – Do Not Do So.’ After all, polite is as polite does.
Ugh, Jodi, those cards are repulsive. If anyone gave me that I would just start laughing.
My family circulates a list - my mom starts demanding one right before Thanksgiving, and with all the importance attached to it you’d think it was bloody Schindler’s List or something. Everyone’s list is compiled, mom adds clipart, and then it is circulated among the 5 of us. The upside of this is that my parents usually give me really nice presents, and that everyone gets what they want instead of useless crap. My parents are really into watching us unwrap stuff under the tree, and they are really into giving nice presents for us. The downside of this is that this year I can’t really afford to get anything for anyone, and I don’t really need or want any “stuff.” I am usually way more into what I get for people than I what I get for Christmas (I am thankful, but could really care less whether I get anything), but this year I feel guilty about not really being able to give.
So anyway, back to “The List.” I bought my ticket home a month or so ago in order to get the best fare, and I wrote back to one of my mom’s requests saying “All I want for Christmas is to come home - can my ticket be my Christmas present?” Response? “A ticket home is not a present. Where is your list?” I pulled out the Land’s End catalog, and I caved. Big-time. So, while I will enjoy the flannel sheets, etc., that my mom is sure to get me for Christmas, I will be selling my plasma in order to get my brothers and parents something from “The List.” If I came home empty-handed, or with nice boxes of homemade cookies, ie, something off-list, I know I would have to endure long lectures on selfishness, better budgeting, and financial responsibility. I’d rather sell the blood.
Next year I will not be so spineless! Next year I will not be so poor! Next time I will only go home for a few days, instead of the tortuous 10 I set myself up for!