I never thought I’d have a contribution for this thread, although I have loved reading it!! But today I saw something to add from the SCTLA Eclips:
TX Jurors May Be Given An Alternative to the Death Penalty
And you thought Texas only gave *defendants * the death penalty!!
Missing Painting Found By Tree is one I heard which gave me a laugh.
Though it might be worth resurrecting this thread having just read the following headline in today’s Times (UK)
Not really concentrating, my initial thought was “Are there really any hospitals in the UK named after sandwiches?”
Realised, of course, that there should have been a mental pause after the word “named”.
Anybody have any fresh ones?
I saw a photo of the newspaper, not the paper itself, but after Hurricane Mike passed over the Virgin Islands many years ago now, the headline read “Mike Ravages Virgins.” Wish I’d saved the damn photo, as I know a Mike or two.
Beer Company Seeks to Broaden Base of Beer Drinkers.
It certainly worked with me.
Regards,
Shodan
This phenomenon is called a “crash blossom” - lots of examples are here Language Log » Crash blossoms
Years ago (years & years & years), I read a book by the Midwestern author and humorist H.Allen Smith. In it he told of a headline writer on a local paper who seriously embarrassed herself by writing a headline about a local couple’s honeymoon trip. It went;
“COCKBURNS OFF ON WEDDING TRIP”
Took her quite a while to live that one down.
Not a headline I’d seen myself, but I’d heard of one called "Man Killed to Death"
The World War 1 headline referred to above is apocryphal, but reads in full:
‘French push bottles up German rear’ :eek:
There was an English politician called Michael Foot. if he had been put in charge of the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation (NATO), the headline would be:
‘Foot heads arms body’ 
Just a few weeks ago a headline here read Doctor who lost licence for having sex with patients now a ‘health coach’ on YouTube looking for clients. I didn’t even know you could get a licence for having sex with patients, and what does the Doctor need with a youtube channel when he has an entire long-running tv show?
One Real headline that appeared in one of those Columbia Journalism Review books I cited above (in the distant past) was from the time of the Falkland War:
British Left Waffles on Falklands
Besides the Columbia Journalism Review books, Jay Leno put out about half a dozen collections of headlines, and there are some books from National Lampoon of mainly headlines.
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Jay+Leno+Headlines&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=National+Lampoon+True+Facts&i=stripbooks&ref=nb_sb_noss
If you like these sorts of things, go to the Newseum in Washington DC*. They put up several of these headline goofs in the rest rooms.
*while it’s still opening. It’s slated to close for good in January of 2020
Rocket: Hey, Groot here found this painting of yours and he wants to know if there’s a reward.
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: OK, I wanna know if there’s a reward, 'cause if not, this painting’s probably worth something.
Groot: I am Groot!
Rocket: How can it be stealing if you found it? Sheesh.
This thread reminded me not of ambiguous headlines, but of a garbled story. It was about some hobbyist achievement by a group of older men but the article turned into repetitive gibberish and at the end blended into a sports article. I think it was in a UK newspaper. It was breathtakingly funny. Any help?
While searching for it I saw some good thread-relevant headlines, such as “Chick Accuses Some of Her Male Colleges of Sexism” and “Student excited dad got head job” and mangled headlines such as " “Jets Patriots jumphead goes herey barllskdjf fkdasd fg asdf” and “words in here ghghg hg hgh ghg hgh ghg” (above another article “words words words.”)
Yep, that’s it. I spent probably an hour today trying to google that up again.