Bull Durham and Billy Madison
“You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
"It’s shiate being Scottish! We’re the lowest of the low, the scum of the farking earth, the most wretched, miserable, servile, pathetic trash that was ever shat into civilization. Some people hate the English, I don’t. They’re just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can’t even find a decent culture to be colonized by. We are ruled by effete arseholes. It’s a shiate state of affairs to be in, Tommy! And all the fresh air in the world won’t make any farking difference!?
The Third Man and Trainspotting
“Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with?”
“Overrated. Biochemically, no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.”
Meet Joe Black and The Devil’s Advocate
“I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.”
“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”
Monty Python & The Holy Grain and Airplane!
“I feel this Tartar woman is for me, and my blood says, take her. There are moments for wisdom and moments when I listen to my blood; my blood says, take this Tartar woman.”
“Khaaaan!”
The Conqueror and Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
“Take a vacation…from my problems.”
“We’ve gone on holiday by mistake!”
What about Bob and Withnail and I
“My insurance doesn’t cover PMS.”
“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?”
10 Things I Hate About You and Heathers
“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
“Marriage is like an unfunny tense version of*** Everybody Loves Raymond***, but it doesn’t last 22 minutes. It lasts forever.”
When Harry Met Sally and Knocked Up
“Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous.”
“Of course, it’s company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, ‘a’ dildo, never ‘your’ dildo.”
Porky’s 2 and Fight Club
“I took the liberty of bullshitting you.”
“You shut up! You are the audience! I am the author! I OUTRANK you!”
The Blues Brothers and The Producers
Oh, is that all the thanks I get for the night of hot sex?
My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and Yankee Doodle Dandy
If Peeing Your Pants Is Cool, Consider Me Miles Davis.
The Ratio Of People To Cake Is Too Big.