Complaints from Cubs fans that lines for the men’s rooms were 30 minutes long and people were peeing in the corners of Wrigley.
I don’t know who peed in Pablo Sandoval’s Cheerios, but he has lost practically any residual fanship he had in San Francisco.
Reds club the Buccos 5-2 to win their Opening Day. Sweet! One down on the way to 164-0!
It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…
Rollins cranks a 3 run homer into the right field stands to power the Dodgers to a 6-3 victory over the Padres, who looked pretty damn good. The NLWest might look interesting this year - Dodgers winning it, of course, but maybe San Diego can stomp SF a little bit.
The Red Sox got 2-homer games from two guys on Opening Day. I wonder how many times that’s happened, if ever.
Anyway, we’re one game into the season and I’d already like to start complaining about Toronto’s fantastically inept TV announcing team of Buck Martinez and Pat Tabler, the latter of who, I must assume, has the launch codes to an arsenal of nuclear weapons because I cannot think of any other reason the man is paid to speak into a microphone. As usual - at least for the short period of time I got to see - they were utterly inane, but I was especially irritated by Martinez’s call of Devon Travis’s homer. I can’t recall exactly how it went but it was pretty close to “There a long drive… geeeet up, geeet up, get outta here!” in the manner Martinez might cheer for his own son hitting a home run in Little League. He sounded like an idiot, and we have 161+ more to look forward to.
Ohh yeah, that reminds me, Rod Allen has been demoted into a rotation with Kirk Gibson and Jack Morris for Detroit’s broadcasts. One more reason to be happy about the new season.
My perfect day: Kemp 3, Dodgers 6. 
Morris did some work for the Jays a few years ago and he’s terrific.
To top off the opening day cake, the Red Sox extend Rick Porcello for 4/$82.5 (2016-2019, age 27-30 seasons). This fits in with what they’ve been trying to do in recent years: only spend big, multi-year money if you’re getting prime years, and go for a higher AAV to avoid extra years on the back end. Opinions are somewhat split on Porcello but for me this is a huge win, and he’ll be a stabilizing force in the rotation as the next group of prospects comes up (Owens/Rodriguez).
Wow, so 4 fifths of the rotation the Tigers ended last year are making 20+ million* this year? Crazy.
If you consider 19.75 million counting as 20M+, which for these purposes, I do.
It was really hard not to want to smack the morons in the stand booing Kemp even during the introductions. How dare he refuse to curl up and die after being traded against his will! The bastard!
Anyway, I wish him well – just not well enough to beat the Dodgers. He nearly got the job done by himself today.
White Sox lose 
http://m.mlb.com/kc/video/v63049183/cwskc-royals-score-two-more-on-gordons-base-hit/
they look like the Sox I remember
Should be a good year if all you complain about is the announcing. Keep beating the Yankees and all will be well.
Red Sox won. Cardinals won. Yankees lost. Cubs lost. What else is there to say?
(I’m late to my Cardinals fandom, so I don’t really have anything against the Cubs. But it’s good to get in the spirit, you know?)
The Giants won last night, but in the last 24 hours their pitching staff went from “it’s all right, these guys can hold it together” to “OK, we might be in some serious trouble here” to “are you sure Madison Bumgarner can’t just pitch every day?” The good news is that Matt Cain doesn’t need Tommy John surgery (yet). The bad news is that “Matt Cain doesn’t need Tommy John surgery” is the *good *news.
But for today, the Defending World Champion Giants are in first place, so that’s OK.
Tigers still on pace for 162 shutouts this year.
ESPN demands a night game because they pay for a night game. Easter, weather got nuthin’ to do with it. I wish all Sunday games were played in the afternoon (sitting in the yard with a radio and a cooler). Every time Boston plays New York over a weekend, Sunday game is at night.
Brett Lawrie did well for Oakland yesterday.
4 plate appearances.
4 strikeouts.
12 total pitches faced.
Red Sox lost. Yankees won. Cardinals lost. Cubs won. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD.
Adrian Motherfucking Gonzalez! Wow. I guess he was ready for the season to get going.