Studies apparently show that electromagnetic waves may trigger brain disorders in brain-diseased patience. Or maybe super powers.
(bolding mine)
So basically, if you’ve got medical problems with your noodle, there’s an approximately 50/50 chance that you may either keel over in an epileptic fit or develop heat-ray vision every time you use your cell phone.
Cool! Or maybe not! It’s really a crap shoot.
Patience? Jeez. It must be the long weekend.
Patients dadgummit.
Where did you get anything about superpowers from that article?
I was being facetious, based on the quoted doctor’s enigmatic “harmful or beneficial” statement. Harmful I can understand. Beneficial? Could it provide ESP, perhaps? Telepathy? The ability to remotely control John Kerry? Ah, to dream…
These are not the 'droids you are looking for… move along… 
The phone has morphed my brain waves in such a manner that I no longer need a phone. I think of the number and the message is implanted into the target’s brain.
Oh yeah, I order out a lot.