My mother has leukemia. This is her second battle with it. The first time was diagnosed about 5 years ago. She was considered to be in remission since April of 2000. The doctors were amazed first of all that she was alive when they diagnosed it the first time, as her white count was almost zero and she was (I forget the terminology, maybe Q the M, another doctor type or survivor can refresh my memory…) in full blast. The initial prognosis was iffy. The doctors felt that they had caught it rather late. She went through I believe 3 rounds of chemo, and made a startling recovery, much to the amazement of her doctors and family. She lost all of her hair, and maybe 100 lbs, but soon she was back to her old self.
This past November, she noticed she was getting tired more often than usual, and had an inexplicably large bruise under her arm. She went to get it checked, and the doctors told her that the leukemia had come back, but that they felt that this time, it was in its earlier stages. The outlook is good, but the road would be difficult. Her first round of chemo started 11/13–her birthday, she was disappointed that the doctors didn’t put a bow on the bag. Within days, fresh flowers and fruit were removed from her room and banned, and visitors were to wear a mask around her. Her white counts have remained low since then, and over the weekend she was transferred to the ICU because of fluid in her lungs.
Enough of the depressing background. Plans are for her to move in with me. I have a wife, a 3 1/2 year old, and a chocolate lab. We bought my grandfathers house a few years ago, and there is ample room. In fact, it is the house that she grew up in, and she is getting her old room back. This situation works best because all of the important rooms are on one floor (bathroom, living room, kitchen, bedroom). Her house, my brother’s and uncle’s have steps she has to contend with, and living alone (my father passed away in '96) in her weakened condition did not seem to be a good idea with steps.
Originally, plans were for her to stay with us for about 6-8 weeks of transitional time, but since she’s been in the hospital so long, my brother and I, along with my uncle, have begun to realize how in arrears she is with bills, so selling her house is becoming a realistic option in order to settle her accounts, and give her a bit of a nest egg to move into an assisted living complex or something in a year or so, when she is back to full strength.
So mom’s stay here appears that it will be greatly extended. We have made it very clear to her that we do not consider this to be a burden on us (while financially it may be a stretch, Mom expressed her intention to help out there where she could when she could), that this is what family does for each other, and that Colin is very excited to have Nana come to live with him for a little while. We have not hid her illness from him, but we have not gotten into the physiology of it either. As far as he’s concerned, Nana has bad germs, and needs to get good germs to get better.
I was wondering if any other Dopers have taken in a parent or parents or other relative for an extended period? We realize privacy will be cut a bit, but it’s not like we come and go at all hours or walk around naked all day. As far as I know, my mom doesn’t either. The boy, on the other hand…well, he’s 3 1/2 and hates clothes.
What advice can you give or what can I expect? Horror stories are part of the deal, too, so don’t be bashful.
Thanks.