My mom likes to guess, outloud, the answers to Family Fued and yell at the contestants for getting it wrong or because their answers didn’t match hers.
Both my parents do this. It’s extremely annoying.
I have a high suspension-of-belief threshold, so it’s easy for my to turn off the problem-solving part of my brain during a movie, relax, and let the plot take me wherever it wants to go, even if it’s relatively hackneyed and formulaic.
Having my dad gleefully inform the television what’s going to happen next every 30 seconds really dulls the experience.
This was going to be my suggestion.
<something happens on screen>
Talker: “Comment,” over next few seconds of dialogue
You: grab remote; ba-dip, seven-second rewind
Talker: “Why did you do that?”
You: “I missed the next line because you were talking.”
<something happens on screen>
Talker: “Comment,” over next few seconds of dialogue
You: ba-dip
Talker: “Why do you keep doing that?”
You: “I missed what happened again.”
Repeat as often as is necessary. With luck, stretching a sitcom to four hours will be enough to prove the point.
Duct tape. It’s not just for Homeland Security.
Oh god, I have a sister-in-law who does this all the time, even if I’ve never seen the film before so we couldn’t possibly answer her questions about who that character is, why is he/she doing that, etc. She’ll do this even if she was sitting there when the movie started and it’s the very first scene. “Oh my god, who is that? What is he doing? Who’s that woman he’s with?..” Repeated attempts to shush her only work for a short time, even shorter if she’s been drinking. If she wonders why we don’t have her over for movies these days, well, she shouldn’t.
I believe that my father should watch a movie with your SIL. Just the two of them. 
Either they’d enjoy the experience or want to throttle each other. Either outcome would be fine in my book!
I have similar problems with my entire family. Although it is not Narrators, but “Star-Gazers”. They insist on trying to identify every person in a film and list every previous film they have starred in.
I prefer to watch television and movies in complete silence, with laughter being acceptable whenever something is funny. Just. Don’t. Fucking. Talk.
IMO, the worst coviewer has got to be the pretentious film student. One of my best friends in college was a film studies major and would constantly pause movies to rhapsodize over the shot, or the composition, or whatever the fuck. Or worse: he wouldn’t bother to pause it at all, just go right on over the dialogue about some film student thing I didn’t care about/understand.
(Dislaimer: not all film students do this, not all film students are pretentious, blah blah etc., etc.)
They’re not? :dubious:
It’s obvious that the Confused Question Askers and the Unnecessary Narrators are meant to be symbiotic species; with all that helpful narration, the Question Askers will know exactly what’s going on, while the Narrators will get a grateful audience. It’s win-win.
That’s my boyfriend in a nutshell. “Oh is that Blahdeblah? He was in Whatchamacallit, with Whatsisname! Oh, Whatsisname was in Boogaloo with Kerfluffle…” I don’t care, man! I care about the movie he’s in now, which is WHY I AM TRYING TO WATCH IT!
My mom is one of the types who guesses plot twists before they happen. This is made even more annoying by the fact that she is right, every freaking time. I’ve never seen her slip up. Drives me crazy!
And my dad just rolls his eyes and comments about how unfunny every joke is. I think I’ve seen him laugh at a joke maybe twice.
But of course, I’m no saint - I’m horrible to watch movies with, too. For some reason, I can’t remember faces, and since most of Hollywood’s “attractive” men have no defining features such as large noses or crooked teeth or scars which would help me identify them, I can’t remember who is who if there are, for example, two guys who both have short dark hair. I’m constantly saying things like, “Was that the bad guy, or was that the other girl’s boyfriend?” Girls are a little easier to tell apart because there is a lot more variation in hair styles. I pre-warn anyone who wants to watch a movie with me, though.
My wife does this. I’ll cop an attitude and tell her, “Thank you for translating plain English into plain English…”
Then she wonders why I don’t watch the tube with her.
I’m guilty of shouting answers to one game show - Jeopardy. Then again, the show is sometimes on the TV at a bar I occasionally frequent, and everybody else is shouting answers, too.
What’s a bit frustrating is when I’m watching Jeopardy with my parents, and Mom asks “how did you know that?” after I guess every correct answer. After all, I’m supposed to remember the date and place I learned every trivial fact that’s stored in my brain.
Alex: “This area was acquired from Mexico in 1853 to allow the construction of a transcontinental railroad.”
elmwood: “What is the Gadsen Purchase?”
Contestant: “What is the Gadsen Purchase?”
Alex: “That’s correct.”
Mom: “HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?”
elmwood "Well, I LIVED IN THE AREA FOR FOUR YEARS, and it was probably part of one of my classes in elementary school, and …
Alex: “This pre-punk band was known for crossdressing, and their look influenced hair bands of the 1980s.”
elmwood: “Who are the New York Dolls?”
ContestantL “Who are the New York Dolls?”
Alex: “Correct.”
Mom: “HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?”
elmwood: “Sigh …”
Reminds me of Dopers who often reply to messages with “Cite?”
Mom’s a 40th level star gazer. Yes, she name every celebrity as they appear on the movie, along with other films they appeared in. She also often calls movies not by its name, but by the lead actors.
“DID YOU SEE MATT DILLON AND SANDRA BULLOCK YET?”
“Huh?”
“IT’S A MOVIE WHERE PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT RACES ALL HAVE STORIES THAT TIE TOGETHER.”
“You mean Crash?”
“YEAH, MATT DILLON AND SANDRA BULLOCK.”
It frustrates me, because like some others have said, I also have a hard time telling many actors apart, and I tend not to keep track of who is starring in what movie.
Same thing with many TV shows. It’s not “Curb your Enthusiasm,” “Everybody Loves Ray” and “The Tonight Show,” but “The Larry David Show.” “The Ray Romano Show” and “The Jay Leno Show.” I think this might just be an older-person thing, since television shows in the 1950s were frequently named after the lead actor or host - “The Andy Griffith Show,” “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” “The Ed Sullivan Show,” “The Jack Benny Show,” and so on.