Well, I didn’t know it was going to be on, but I was flipping around the channels last night, and lo and behold, there on ABC…Monday Night Football! Yea! It was the first pre-season game.
But soon, my joy turned to dismay, when I discovered who ABC, in its wisdom, had hired to do color commentary for the fabulous Al Michaels.
John “Assface” Madden.:mad:
Aaargh!
Now, I admit, I was fond of Dennis Miller. Some folks didn’t care for him, but I rather enjoyed his commentary the past two seasons. And Dan Fouts made a good foil, with his earnest and likeable insider persona. But really, I wasn’t in love with them as commentators. ABC wants a change of scenery, that’s fine with me. (As long as they keep Al, of course!)
But John Madden? Oh, I am so not looking forward to a season of Monday Night games peppered with “y’know-y’know-y’know…” and defaced with rampant telestrator abuse. Not to mention his rambling, semi-coherent “Back when I was a coach” stories (or his hideous bloated ass-face!).
Actually Madden was pretty good last night. He had been getting pretty stale over at Fox. But the move and new partner seems to have agreed with him so far.
BOOM. Heh heh, just kidding- I has to throw in at least on Maddenism.
Actually, I just caught the tail end of the game, so I didn’t get a feel for his total performance. Hopefully the MNF crowd will keep him in line. We’ll see…
Hmm…since he’s on MNF this year, I assume that means he won’t get to do the Thanksgiving game like he usually does. Do you suppose they’ll get someone else to staple the extra legs on the turkey?
It wasn’t bad. He was much more reserved than he was on Fox towards the end. Maybe he’ll loosen up later, but I think it’ll be cool.
One problem with Miller and Fouts was that there was litterally too many people up there. Miller never did really fit in. And, if you have to go to the web the next day to look up the obscure references he made regularly, well…
So I guess I’m all alone in my dislike for Mr. Madden.
Well, that’s fine, I’ll just shut up and watch the damn game.
But in eight weeks or so when you feel like your head is going to explode if you hear one more string of "y’know"s, and you just want to ram that telestrator pen straight up his ass…DON’T COME CRYING TO ME!
You’re not alone in disliking Madden, here’s some points against him:
The “Turducken”: That was just stupid. At least he’s off the Thanksgiving games now that he’s with ABC. I’m sure a turkey, duck and chicken got together a la the '71 Dolphins to throw a party celebrating the end of that menace to their dignity.
Coached the Raiders: Really, I wouldn’t be much of a Chiefs fan if I didn’t hate any and all people with such strong ties to the “silver and black”.
His oh-so-obvious commentary: “Now the defense is going with 6 defensive backs, they must be expecting a pass.” No crap, doofus. Great frickin’ insight. Kind of like how soap operas always slip in some backstory to make it easier to get started watching the show or catch up with it, Madden throws in the most obvious observations about football as if everyone has never watched a frickin’ game before in their lives. So we get gems like “If they can’t establish a running game they’ll have a tough time winning today.” Well, thanks Mr. Obvious, you’re a lifesaver.
“Madden on the Road”: The 60 second featurette, aired repeatedly on sports radio affiliated with Westwood One (rather than ESPN). About 30 seconds of this is Madden giving a rambling speech about something occasionally football-related, and always filled with more of those patently-obvious musings he calls “insights.”
My favorite former booth guy on MNF? Definitely Boomer Esiason. I remember one of his first games, one team tried a HB screen and it (of course) failed miserably. So Boomer chimes in with “No surprise there, that play never works.” Finally, somebody in a broadcast booth picks up on the fact that the screen pass is the stupidest play call in all of football in any and every situation. Dierdorf was pretty good too, he would sometimes criticize stupid play-calling too, but Boomer gets my vote for pointing out the folly of my absolute least favorite play in the game.
Nobody WANTED to like Dennis Miller on MNF more than I did. I really hoped he’d liven up the whole show. I was disappointed time and time again. He’s still one of my favorite comics, but he was a piss poor sportscaster, and I won’t miss him.
Surprisingly, I WILL miss Dan Fouts, who turned out to be much better than I’d expected. In his time as a college football commentator, he’d never shown any insight or wit, but he was quite good on MNF.
As for Madden… geez, when he first became a commentator in the early 80s, he was wonderful. He was fresh, he was insightful, he was knowledgeable, he was irreverent, and he made the game much more enjoyable for me. But frankly, for about 10 years now, he’s been going through the motions, doing just the same old schtick. It’s been woefully apparent that he hasn’t been doing his homework, and his old partner Pat Summerall was getting too slow and tired to coax insights out of him.
Now, my HOPE is that Al Michaels will challenge Madden a little, energize him, and get him back to his old self. When Madeen cares and tries, he can still be the best football commentator around. The real question is, can anyone make him care or try any more.
I just want to know which network will get a clue and get Jimmy Kimmel in the booth. I guarantee whichever network does it gets an immediate boost to the ratings. He’s funny, crude and very knowledgeable about football. In other words, the perfect color man.
I didn’t have a problem with Madden until about five years ago. I was watching a game between Dallas and Washington (Hail to the Redskins!). Dallas on ‘O’, Washington defending. Dallas brings in a number 65 (don’t remember his name) and put him at tight end (he was on the roster as an OT). Madden then said the single, most retarded football-related thing I’ve EVER heard in my life:
“When Dallas puts #65 in at tight end, ya gotta be expecting either a run or a pass.”
Read that again. Yes, that’s right. Madden is a genius. He ruled out the 80-some-odd yard field goal, and slyly managed to also discount the surprise punt. Even Summerall seemed stunned, and didn’t say anything for a few seconds. To this day, I will never understand what was running through his senile old head during that play.
BTW, in regards to Jimmy Kimmel in the booth, interesting idea. I like it. Although I did kind of like Dan Fouts, too. Imagine if Kimmel were able to make fun of him on a weekly basis the way he makes fun of Terry Bradshaw. Wouldn’t you watch that?
I heard a comic impersonating Madden on the Bob&Tom Show. The guy was HILARIOUS.
Hi-larious!
No, Madden wasn’t as obnoxious as normal. But that’s not saying much. He annoys the shit out of me. Which sucks, because Michaels is one of the best play-by-play guys, IMO. I didn’t really like Fouts (although he did grow on me), and Miller never really found his schwerve, but they were FAR superior to Madden. Sigh, bring back Dierdorf.
Ah well, at least they canned Dickerson. Rushing prowess != announcing skills.
I’m okay with Michaels and Madden, but wouldn’t it be interesting to have guests in the booth now and then? Even if just for a half?
The aforementioned Jimmy Kimmel and Boomer Esiason would be good. Jay Mohr, Tom Arnold, Sterling Sharpe, Chris Berman, Jim Rome; even people outside the sports industry that are well versed in football. I’ve heard Matt Damon and Ben Afleck on the radio, both seem well spoken. When the Pats are playing they’d be interesting guests.
