How many of you think that if you only had more money you would finally be happy? I mean a lot more money, a million or more. I mean for you personally, not as a general rule.
I was talking with my friend and we were talking about how come he seems to be so uptight and I seem to be so calm and content. He said something to the effect, “If I just had more money I could relax.”
I replied, “I’m not convinced that if I had more money I would be content or happy.”
He didn’t beleive me for a second. I am just curious as to whose thinking is more commonh, his or mine. What say you?
Now I know a lot are going to say that they are already happy, etc. and I am not denying that. But how many think that money could solve whatever difficulties they have to deal with?
It seems to me that money doesn’t buy the happiness, it just removes most of the obstructions to happiness.
If you don’t how to be happy or don’t know what will make you happy, then having tons of money won’t help.
People who say money won’t buy happiness, seem to define happiness as “a perfect world.” It certainly won’t buy that, but by no means is that required to be happy.
My requirements for happiness:
Basic necessities are met
Travel
Intellectual stimulation
Baglady
Money helps with all of those (money allows me to be with Baglady as much as I want, rather than having to work long hours or exhausting jobs).
In my experiences, the only people who tell you that money doesn’t buy happiness, are happy people with shitloads of money.
I do a job that I don’t particularly enjoy. Now, I know what you’re going to say. Get off my ass and find a job that you do like, but that’s another story.
If I had unlimited funds, I could pay off all my bills (relieving that bit of stress from my life). I could visit my family back east whenever I wanted to, instead of living like a miser for six months just to afford the plane tickets. I could live in a big house with all the toys I could possible want, instead of a studio apartment with no parking. I could travel to any exotic location I please, instead of scraping up gas money for a trip to Santa Cruz.
So, yes, I believe with every poverty ridden thread of my being that money can buy happiness. If you’d like to help me prove this theory, drop me a line and I’ll tell you where to send the cash.
Depends on what you consider “a lot” more money. I’d love to have an extra $150,000 or so today, because it would allow us to pay off school loans and make the down payment on our house early. And getting through the buying-a-house process would make me much, much happier right now. It would also make the husband happier because then I wouldn’t come home all stressed out and take it out on him.
Aside from that, right now we seem to be making enough money to cover all our needs and the things we don’t really need but make life more fun. More money would lead to buying more stuff, which would mean having to buy a bigger house to keep it all, which would mean I’d have to go through this whole buying-a-house crap all over again. And that would NOT make me happy at all.
So to summarize: Some more money would make me personally very happy. Lots more money would give me more of a headache.
Oh yeah. My life would be tons better if only I had more money! Alas, I have chosen a career that will NEVER pay well, so I am doomed to be part of the working poor forever. Unless I marry well, and I am not holding my breath for that.
I guess the point of the conversation with my friend was that he was always wound so tight and seeme to wrry about so many things, and he firmly believed that everything would be resolved with a lot more money.
So I guess the question was do you beleive that a lack of money is a true impediment to happiness?
I tend to gravitate toward Buddhist thinking and a fairly simplified application of that here is that your barrier to happiness is not caused by your lack of money but by the fact that you feel you need more money and can’t get it. However, if you were to get the money you would just find another desire unfufilled and you will still be suffering, until you realize that the search for something to fill this void was the void itself.
obfusciatrist:
I’m not sure I understand this. I am one who thinks that money won’t buy happiness but it is because I know the world is not perfect, even with money. Therefore I can be happy without it as long as I lose the illusion that my happiness is dependent on such a thing.
I think JayLa answer probably comes closest to my way of thinking.
Money doesn’t buy happiness, true, but poverty doesn’t buy anything.
I used to think money wasn’t so important to happiness. But as I’ve gotten older without getting any richer, I’ve realized more and more that - largely due to our social conventions - I won’t be as happy or fulfilled as I’d like until I have more financial wherewithal with which to pursue that fulfillment.
If you’ve ever been poor, I mean really poor, you’ll know that money can bring plenty of happiness.
On the other hand, if you’ve ever had real money, you’ll know that there’s plenty to continue to be unhappy about. People still die, love still has it’s ups and downs, the government is still slow, there are still plenty of disappointments. Oh, and if you’re an ambitious person, as rich people are wont to be, you find that even a ton of money is not as big as you thought it would be. And there’s some unhappiness in that knowledge.
I’ve had the good fortune to be in both boats, and I do include poverty as good fortune because you learn a lot more about life then those born into the good life.
What Silo said. Actually, I’m pretty happy most of the time. I like my life for the most part. But I have to admit that I have at times had money-related stress in my life. So more money can help with that. It can’t help with the basic, underlying, really-bad things in your life other than that, like bad relationships, most health-related things (well, except paying for treatment), etc.
I can’t think of any difficulties I have at the moment that would be in any way helped by more money. Unless money will make babies grow out of the “baby” phase faster. (I do soooo much better with toddlers…)
I’m also skeptical of the idea that - beyond a certain basic level - money and happiness relate. I’ve seen it happen too often that one family is living quite comfortably on a particular income, while another family with a higher income is up to their ears in debt, all too often at least in part because of bad decisions. I am not convinced that, if the second family had enough money to get out of their financial straits, their situation would improve in the long run. Some people learn their lesson, others will run right back into trouble.
Now, certainly, if you’re struggling to get by in spite of making generally good choices, you’re going to have a hard time viewing your situation with contentment. In that case I’d go along with Silo’s equation. But if the money problems stem from overspending and poor planning, then you need more than money to solve them.
Ditto on Silo’s equation. I’ve got a lot right now that makes me happy. A great wife, three great kids, a job I like.
But I would have a lot less overall stress if I also didn’t have to worry about paying a mortgage, paying off loans, saving for the kids’ college tuition, etc. I don’t have a lot of exravagent material needs so I wouldn’t need a million dollars to be happy. But it would sure make the little things easier. For example, I’d sure like to get the air conditioner fixed on the ol’ minivan instead of just putting up with it because we have to pay for pre-school instead. It would be great to not have to make choices about where every dollar goes.
That doesn’t mean money=happiness. But I’ll certainly say that money=contentment.
I got married at 18 with no real job skills. Me and the wife were poor, dirt poor. I think my first year of married income was less than 10k. I recall sleeping on an air mattress, doing without a TV for a year (and a VCR for much longer) and eating beans for a week straight to make ends meet.
I was lucky enough to get a job where I started learning some computer skills (and found that I enjoyed working on them). Now, many years later I’m working as a professional programmer making a very comfortable living.
The funny thing is that me and my wife look back on those hard times in an almost nostalgic way (i.e. “Remember the time we searched the couch cushions for enough pennies to buy a Kool aid packet?”). Certainly, we were poor, but we were also happy. Life seems like it was much simpler then. Now, we’re fairly well off but it seems like we stress about money a lot more even though we have very little debt. My take on money is that, much like good health, can enhance the happiness already in your life… but money by itself doesn’t cut it. One thing which it has certainly done though is help my level of self-respect. Not to say that poor people can’t respect themselves but as a husband and father I don’t feel like I’m fulfilling my responsibilities unless I’m providing well for my family. Call me oldfashioned, it’s just the way I am.