Trebuchets, of course. Really big ones with laser beams.
The budget shouldn’t be much affected. We can raid an SCA event to get our trebuchets - perhaps after distracting the members with velcro and purple clothing. The harder part will be sneaking into a rave to gather lasers, which we can then reverse the polarity of to transform into guidance systems. That mission may be rather dangerous, and uninvited hugging and bouncing may occur. Any volunteers should carefully gird themselves with detachable glowsticks to throw as decoys at any moment.
Biscuits and gravy will henceforth be separated by at least 50 yards or a paragraph spacing from all offensive weapons.
Ah, I was even going to mention Diaperpults, but your proposal sounds better.
Well, at least from the diaper-based weapons.
Also, a general Campaign Announcement. The Monstre will now be taking applications for the position of First Monstress.
I saw you running naked through the thread earlier–Monstrelicious! ;)–so I’m throwing in my application (as long as I don’t have to clean up after the diaperpult).
But the really important question is, does Godzilla like Ghirardelli? I think so.
As that is a WMD only to be used as a last resort against a dire enemy (or perhaps against any country that pisses off the Monstre), the “clean-up” will only be in enemy territory, and hence, their problem.
It’s kind of a love/hate relationship. Godzilla loves chocolate but it makes it hard for him to keep his T-Rex-ish figure.
I’m often asked about my position on the issues. Let me just say, I’m very focused on the issues. In fact, I believe that here in America, we have an issue crisis. Every time we turn around, there are just more and more issues. If you elect the Monstre, my administration will not allow this nation to be bogged down in issues. I’m campaigning on a strong platform of Issue Reduction. And this will not be Issue breaks for just the rich, but for all Americans of all incomes, as well as all races, creeds, and species. Eliminate Issues. Vote Monstre.
But how does Godzilla feel about it, is apparently the question.
The Monstre thanks you for your support and reminds you that the diaper-filled trebuchets will only be used against enemies of the state (defined as terrorists, hostile countries, and people who vote for candidates that are not Monstre).