Moral Support; or What Was I Thinking?

I wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper in response to a column about prayer in school and what the 1st amendment means. Not just a letter, but an editorial column. They called and left a voice mail at work today saying the want to print it. Oh boy, I didn’t think they would. Now I’m questioning whether or not I did the right thing. This is an issue where my husband and I are sharply divided, him being a staunch Catholic / moral majority / right wing Republican and me being a flimsy Protestant / live and let live / left wing Democrat. Mostly I keep my mouth shut and am content to know that I’m right :wink: But I went and wrote this thing and submitted it to the paper. He may not see it. His family may not see it. I know they search the editorials when one of his letters is going to be published, but I don’t know how faithfully they read them when when he’s not.

So, anyway, everyone knows that, politically and religiously, I’m the black sheep of my family and his, I’m just afraid that now that I’ve committed my opinions in black and white and submitted them for the whole world (or at least our corner of the state to see), I’ll be… in trouble? Tell me, did I do the right thing? I don’t have a copy of the version I submitted right now, but it went something like:

I’ve written so many versions of this letter over the last couple weeks, mostly for my own satisfaction, but the one I submitted is close to this. Should I tell them to go ahead and print it or not? I’m so nervous…

Please do.

Looks like an excellent piece of writing.

If there’s a reasonable chance that it is going to cause strains in the family or with the relatives, you probably should discuss it with hubby rather than take the chance of blindsiding him with it. Make as strong an argument with him in favor of publishing the letter as you did in the letter to the editor about religion in school. Point out that he certainly feels its okay to voice his opinions, and that you should also be able to have your say on issues that are extremely important to you too. If he is genuinely principled in his own beliefs, then he should be willing to defend your right to your opinion as much as he would defend his own. And then, if you can get him to go along with publishing the letter, he will run interference for you when his family starts raising hell.

On the other hand, if you’re pretty sure he’s going to disagree with you and try to argue you out of publishing it, then by all means go ahead and publish it without asking him. What the hell. It’s really not that big a deal. Everyone’s got a right to their own opinion, and there’s no crime in wanting to put in your two cents on a timely debate just like everyone else.

The worst thing that can come out of all this: The family will get wind of it and that letter will get brought up again and again at every family gathering and you’ll have to defend your point of view over and over. Every family has that one obnoxious s.o.b. who just can’t ever let anything drop, and who will keep ragging you endlessly on your political beliefs long after everyone else has ceased to care. But even this wouldn’t be that big a price to pay if you really feel strongly about the issue.

As JTR says, it would be nice to give your husband advance notice of the piece, but there isn’t really anything to discuss beyond that.

It’s obviously important to you, and it makes the point very well. Go for it!

Gr8Kat, I for one would want something that I had written that well published. Rough draft or no, that is very well written. You’ve stated your views, you’ve backed them up logically. I hope that your husband can see that you have not attacked religion at all, just stated your belief that we each have the right to believe and practice what we choose. My husband and I also have very different views on some things, religion being one of them, but he respects my views - that’s one of the reasons I love the guy.

I would also warn him that it was coming. Better he hear it from you than his mom, his aunt, or even Joe in accounting (“Hey, Bob, see the editorial in this paper? Your wife write that?”) Be it his family, a friend, a neighbour, a co-worker, someone is bound to see it and ask him. Regardless of his thoughts on the content, were I him I would want to be able to know whether to say yes or no when faced with the question.

Well said! I think your community would be well served by your allowing them to publish what you have written. Even if people don’t all agree with you, it always helps to have the other persons views and the reasons behind them expressed so clearly.

Your insurance company called. They canceled your fire policy.

Yes! Do it! I’m so SICK of those right-wing moralists running roughshod over our civil liberties!

And can I quote you?

Definitely publish it, no matter what the family thinks. If he can voice his opinions, there’s no reason for yours to be suppressed just because they don’t agree with the majority. Whether or not you let him know ahead of time is the tough question.

Let them print it.

You are an individual and are entitled to have and express your opinion. Among other things, that is what the First Amendment is about.

Print! Print!

Speech! Speech!
The fact that you are worried about telling your hubby sort of worries me. I assume that both of you know where you disagree politically, and I assume that you have a relationship where you respect each other’s beliefs and right to express them. You should NOT let fear of his family’s disapproval, or his disapproval, stop you. But if you’re a scaredy Gr8Kat, why not cut the piece out and show it to him the day it comes out?

Thanks for a well-written piece that solidly refutes all of those who try to use the Founding Fathers to support their narrow points of view.

Oh, and thank goodness for women’s suffrage. Imagine our country today if the old “women’s votes don’t matter because they will just vote the way their husbands do anyway” attitude still prevailed.

That eloquent and well thought out column should deninitely be published! I hope that your marriage is honest enough and strong enough that it wouldn’t even be a problem. Don’t let anyone silence you. Your husband’s family aside, HE should be someone you trust to respect your right to your point of view. If this unfortunately isn’t the case, could you just withhold your name from the column?

I’d like to say that you write brilliantly.

Obviously these editors that want to print your work know what they are talking about and I think that you should go ahead and let them print it.

I would hope you husband wouldn’t have any objection to it being printed, as that would reflect very badly on his attitudes and views. Just because someone believes one thing doesn’t give that person the right to suppress all other viewpoints.

If I were yer hubby, I’d be proud - even if I didn’t agree with your viewpoint.

If you decide not to publish this in your local paper, will you publish it in mine? I’m a wimp myself and I don’t think my writing could even touch yours, but something needs to be said in our community.
I definitely think you should do it…even if your husband and his family disagree with you, how could they help but be proud of your intelligence, integrity, and guts?

Thanks for your support, everyone :slight_smile:

I called the paper this morning and told them to go ahead. The finished product won’t be exactly like what’s above, if for no other reason what’s above numbers about 560 words and the maximum allowed is 500. But the gist is the same.

I did tell my husband last night and we did go around about the issue, but I think everything was smoothed over in the end. As always, we just have to agree to disagree. I just don’t want everyone to think I’m a godless heathen; I forget they already do :wink:

<Re-reading thread> Goodness, I do believe I’m getting a swelled head! I first cut my letter-to-the-editor teeth eight years ago on the OCA’s anti-gay ballot measures; maybe I need to take another whack at them: The OCA sent me gay porn!

Gr8Kat, wherever you and your husband each fall on the issue is irrelevant to your letter. He writes letters to the editors arguing his opinions, you get to do the same! Why should you even feel nervous - can’t he take a good debate?

Have fun with the OCA.

bravo! Y’did good kid.

I am Christian, a Lutheran. I Don’t believe prayer should be excluded from schools, nor do I think it should be mandated.

I think the root of the matter isn’t one of religion per se, but one of a lack of morals, and in worse cases, an inculcating of situational ethics.

I believe there would be far less stridency on both sides of the issue if the Golden Rule was firmly adhered to and taught.

religion aside, I believe you reap what you sow, and right now and for the last decade or so, we have been reaping what we sowed in the '60s & 70s.
“If it feels good, do it” is an insidious and destructive aphorism adhered to by far too many people.

Again, I thank you for your charity, but I must point out that the only “brilliant” words in my letter came from other people. If you want to read truly brilliant writing, then hurry to and bookmark these sites:

Thomas Paine

Thomas Jefferson

Benjamin Franklin

The World Union of Deists has more articles about the FF, their essays, correspondence, and quotations.

These are all fascinating, if for no other reason than they give us a first hand account of that era, even if you don’t agree 100% with the philosophies they expound. It boggles my simple little mind to contemplate living in a country or a period where one could be jailed for not going to church, or going to the wrong church, or for pointing out that King So-and-so will jail anyone who does not go to church X while he himself goes to church Y, or even writing a silly letter like I did. Read some of the links I visited, then read Jesus’ criticisms of hypocrites. Replace the word “Pharisees” with “Monarchy” and see if they (the criticisms) don’t still ring true. (Replace it with a few other words, too, it’s fun!)

Anyway, this isn’t GD, it isn’t even IMHO, (and if I keep this up, someone is bound to point out that I’m a hypocrite because I enjoy Christmas as a state holiday) so I’ll just tip my hat, thank you for your kind words, and bid you all a fond good night. Cheers :slight_smile:

Hey, where’d my other links go??

I also tried to includ

Thomas Paine: Thomas Paine – Internet Infidels

Thomas Jefferson: Thomas Jefferson – Internet Infidels

and Benjamin Franklin: http://www.vt.edu/vt98/academics/books/franklin/FranklinIndex.html

Happy reading :slight_smile:

Update: I got a call from the newspaper today. They want me to come down to get my picture taken for the article. They also wanted to know more about where I work. So, you know, the fire-bombers will be able find me easier.