Morals of sleeping with a married person

[Barrington]

FWIW, I’m divorced, having been married for 19 years.

@Diogenes

I think the key word in all of that is “kinks.” We’re not talking about sexless marriages, but about going outside of marriages solely to satisfy some unimportant desire for a particular act or costume or whatever. “Kinks” do not rise to the level of emotional needs.

Good to see so many people still thinking we wanted to get together real-life to satisfy our oh-so-fascinating kinks. A healthy imagination can be a wonderful thing - don’t let me stop you by pointing out the boring truth yet again. I’m sorry, I haven’t the time to help you indulge in your own fantasies. All I can say is, if you want to imagine live chickens being shoved up anuses, head-first might be a good idea, I guess. I don’t know.

I must say, though that it’s hilarious to watch a thread degenerate so rapidly based on peoples’ collective fantasies and their discussions of these fantasies. If anyone comes to this thread late, and is interested in the actual, real situation, please just read my posts first to find out what actually happened.

@Diogenes

If anyone care sto answer, I’m still genuinely curious as to what constitues “virtual sex” in Second Life. Are there explicitly pornographic animations involved or is it all text or what?

That’s a better response, and one I’ll address.

Zeriel pretty much hit the nail on the head - it can go to frightening levels, although I only know about this second-hand. Mostly, it’s about simulated sex between consenting couples who would, if they could, do exactly the same to one another if they were physically in the same room. The quality and variety of animations make for a surprisingly realistic experience, whatever your tastes. That’s as far as I’ve taken it, and as far as I’m interested in taking it. At this level, it functions pretty much as mutually-agreed animated porn - she makes her avatar lie there, you make yours lie next to her, and then the animations take over and they cuddle, kiss, hug, fuck - whatever you’ve both decided. As well as that, you can simultaneously type to one another or use a mic to talk in real time. All the rest is purely psychological, but it can be very intensely personal.

But, quelle surprise! - people take it further. There’s simulated torture, extreme control, Gorean, even people pretending to be children. I avoid all that, and so do the vast majority of Second Life players.

[DSeid]

You met out of a mutual desire to have a fairly noncommited virtual sexual dalliance. You describe this kind of sex as follows:

@Barrington

Mostly, it’s about simulated sex between consenting couples who would, if they could, do exactly the same to one another if they were physically in the same room. The quality and variety of animations make for a surprisingly realistic experience, whatever your tastes.

But you then dismiss its significance by saying

it’s a bit like me falling in love with a woman I met in a bookshop …

(I guess I missed that section in Border’s!) And by saying that

After all, it’s just pixels on the screen, etc, etc. I don’t see any particular definable dividing boundaries between, say, pornography and online sex

You may be pissed off that we readers see the sexual motivation for the initial encounter in an environment that at some level you view as very very real as significant, but many of us fail to see how you cannot see that it is. Chickens up anuses have nothing to do with it. This was a married women having an casual sexual encounter with training wheels that turned into an emotional relationship strong enough that she wanted to take the training wheels off. The sexual aspect of the initial meet was not immaterial. The alleged kinks may be. Because there are people and lives affected on the other side the ethics of virtual sex with married others who may be doing so without their spouses consent are a shade more interesting than those of covertly viewing online porn and trashing the cache and history line. And meeting in that context is different than meeting to discuss motorcycles. Unless you are really freindly with yopur motorcycle!