I was listening to Billy Joel and I heard this:
“They were all impressed with your Harlequin dress
And the people that you knew Abby Lane”
But nooooo, it’s really:
They were all impressed with your Halston dress
And the people that you knew at Elaine’s
An oldie but a goodie.
Hubby listening to Top 40 Countdown with Casey Kasem and I start to sing along–
Are you wheeling in the cheese?
Stowing away the Tide?
Do you had enough of these?
Have you had enough of mine?
Truth is, I KNOW the name of the song is Reeling In the Years but even if I remember to sing the first line of the chorus correctly, I still sing the rest this way.
Edited to Add: We were listening to the Top 40 over the long 4 day weekend last week.
that’s hilarious! 
Did Colonel Sanders win the Pullet Surprise?
I led the pigeons to the flag…
…one naked individual…
I’ve got two chickens to paralyze/Pack your bags we leave tonight
Wee dee dee dee…the liar tweets tonight…
Hit me with your pet shark//Fire your maid
These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise.
Its five-year mission: to explore strange new girls . . .
Your Hershey highway,
I want to ride it all night long.
I swear I once heard Whitney Houston singing Climb Every Woman.
When my wife listens to Don Henley’s “The Boys of Summer” she hears:
“I can see you
Your bra still drying in the sun…”
(actual line: your brown skin shining in the sun)
I love “Kid Charlemagne” by Steely Dan, have since its first release.
But it was only 3 days ago that I learned the lyrics were not:
“Did you realize
That you were italian in their eyes?”
But rather:
“That you were a champion in their eyes?”
But, but… wha…?
(It doesn’t sound like “champion”… However, looking at a lyrics website just now, I’ve learned that later on the lyrics are “All those dayglow freaks who just to paint the face”, which I’ve always heard as “all those dago freaks”, and which I figured tied into “Italian”. )
From Hamilton:
But when I fantasize at night it’s Adam Sandler’s eyes
We hold these truths to be self-evident that almonds are created equal
and of course
Twerk twerk, Anglica, twerk twerk Eliza, and Peggy
I was listening to a pest control commercial today. Instead of “a nest of insects”, I thought I heard “a nest of incest”. 
lobotomyboy63I’m so glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read yours or there would have been liquid coming out of everywhere. I texted those to my BIL. He will get a huge kick out of them.
I’m always collecting them. I believe that the hot-dogs go on (some may be NSFW lyrics).
19th Nervous Breakdown: this isn’t really a Mondegreen, just a homophone. I always wondered why her father was “still perfecting ways of making ceiling wax.”
Who the hell waxes their ceilings?
There was a commercial for some skin care produce that purported to contain “Nutrium Moisture”*. Unfortunately for them, the two M’s in that phrase tend to run together, so I always hear “nutria moisture”, nutria being rat-like critters that live in wetlands.
*Which I assume is just some made up thing to make them sound different from competitors.
Sepultura: Isolation
I thought the lyrics were “In the Cage, In the Cage, You will Behave”
Could have sworn it. Turns out it is “You will Remain”.
80s song Gold by Spandeau Ballet
Gold! Always believe in your soul
You’ve got the power to know
You’re indestructible
Always bulimic
A commercial for . . . some kind of nutritional drink for kids (?) where the little kid says “mom was worried about my growth”, but he doesn’t speak clearly and every time (like 20 times a day) I hear it as “mom was worried about my grill”.
Over the years (pre-YouTube) I had heard “Long Cool Woman In A Black Dress” on the radio from time to time, but the only words in the whole song that I could make out were “But I wanted to have it all.”
Standing alone, that sounds like a likely line to have in such a song, and I tried to imagine what the rest of the song might be about to fit it around that line.
(The actual line, of course, is “That long cool woman had it all”.)
I’ve got two ticks and a pair of lice
Don’t you know that they’re just parasites
I’ve got two ticks and a pair of lice
I’ve got two ticks and a pair of lice
Take my hand, I’m a stranger with a pair of dice.
…set an open course for an emergency.
