No please do, very funny.
Mad magazine burnt some into my brain, too.
Like “hello, Deli” (to the tune of Hello, Dolly)
Hello deli
This is Joe, deli
Would you please send up some nice corned beef on rye.
A box of ritz, deli
And some Schlitz, deli
Some chopped liver and a sliver of your apple pie.
Turkey legs, deli
Hardboiled eggs, deli
with tomatoes and potatos you french fry
Oh please don’t be late deli
Cuz I can’t wait deli
Deli, without breakfast I will die!
(all done from memory, sadly).
Something I came up with when I was bored (to the tune of “Battle Hymn of the Republic”)
I know it’s a phallic object, 'cause it’s longer than it’s wide
In your hotdogs and your obelisks male dominance does hide
If you disagree with me it’s 'cause you’ve bottled it up inside
And that’s what Freud said.
Glory, glory psychoanalysis!
Glory, glory psychoanalysis!
Glory, glory psychoanalysis!
And that’s what Freud said.
Everything you do has sex in mind no matter what you say
If you disagree with me the orthodoxy’ll make you pay
I have no facts to back me up, but I’ve jumped in the fray
And that’s what freud said.
(chorus)
I love to use the subconscious because nobody can see
That I make stuff up as I go along - my services aren’t free
And doomed is the iconoclast who dares to challenge me
And that’s what Freud said.
(chorus)
Eh…it killed enough time, anyway.
athelas, that’s a lot like this song http://freespace.virgin.net/robert_ian.smith/Songindex/Psychotherapy.htm
More Mad stuff:
No one has mentioned the fabulous Allan Sherman yet. There was of course Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah (to the tune of Ponchielli’s “Dance of the Hours”), but there were many others equally as able to permanently alter your brain cells. A couple of my favorites:[list=0]
[li]You Went the Wrong Way Old King Louis (to the tune of "It’s a Long Way to St.Louis). The introduction, to the tune of the “Marseilles”, goes:[/li]Louis the Sixteenth was the King of France in 1789.
He was worse than Louis the Fifteenth.
He was worse than Louis the Fourteenth.
He was worse than Louis the Thirteenth.
He was the worst . . .
Since Louis the First.
[li]Hungarian Goulash No.5 (to the tune of “Hungarian Rhapsody”) which starts:[/li]If you like Hungarian food,
They have a goulash which is very good.
and contains the unforgettable lyrics:
Borscht is what they’re eating in the Soviet.
Wait, I think we’ve got some on the stove yet.[/list]
Every time I’m at a sporting event, and that national anthem (shlould that be capitalized?) plays, I can’t help but sing the version from The Naked Gun:
Oh, say can you see
By the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming
Who’s bright stripes and broad stars
In the perilous night,
O’er the rampart’s we watched
As the da da, da, da, da, da
And the rocket’s red glare
Lots of bombs in the air
Gave proof to the night
That we still had a flag
Oh say does that spangle banner wave
Over all-l-l-l-l that’s free
Over the home
Of the land
And the land of the free!
Hey !!! It’s Enrico Palazzo !!!"
Cheer, cheer for ol’ Notre Dame
You take the Notre, I’ll take the Dame,
Send some freshmen out for gin
Don’t let a sober sophomore in.
We never stagger
We never fall
We sober up with wood alcohol
While our loyal faculty lies drunk on the barroom floor.
Yes, Mad Magazine wrote some great song parodies. One of my favorites was “News” set to the tune of “Love Is Blue”
News, news it’s time for news
Cronkite is here, so what can we lose?
News, news world leaders’ views,
Premiere Brezhnev’s and Georges Pompidou’s
Alan Sherman (as someone previously mentioned) was great at parodies.
One of his best was:
“Won’t You Come Home Disraeli ?” (Sung to the tune of “Won’t You Come Home Bill Bailey?”)
Fight on for old 'S.C.,
The halfback wants his salary.
The ends refuse to play,
Until they get their weekly pay,
From old 'S.C.
Pay up for old 'S.C.!
Pay up!
I came across that issue of MAD recently at the comics shop. The same article had such gems as:
You may prefer a Character
Like Mickey Mouse or Dumbo
But this guy’s real
A true Sclhemiel
And they call this clod Columbo
and
Kung Fu
For highbrows it’s groovy
Like some new-wave movie
But much more mystic instead
Kung Fu
For lowbrows there’s killin’
They’re watchin’ the villain
Get several kicks in the head
The one I know starts off with “She’s a mean old bag!/She’s a nasty old bag!” but the version I found in Totally MAD has different artwork with it, not the one that I remember.
Sung to the tune of “God Bless America”
Please bless my underwear
My only pair
Stand beside them,
and guide them,
through the washer and the dryer back to me.
Another to On Top Of Old Smokey:
On top of old Smoky;
All covered in blood
I stomped my poor teacher’s
Face in the mud.
And from Mad, sung to Clemintine:
*In the cabinet;
in the bathroom;
O’er the sinks whos faucets shine.
Stand a funny litte bottle
And they call it iodine.
Oh you funny;
Oh you funny;
Oh you funny iodine.
You don’t taste good with a cookie
But for booboos your just fine*