It’d be the cat. The cat KNOWS it can’t read the damn paper. If humans want to read the paper, let them get it.
Of course the dog is a total sucker. He’ll do anything you tell him.
Not to diss all you cat people, but when is the last time you heard of a seeing-eye cat? Hell, they’ve managed to train ponies to do that shit before they can get the cats to do it! They tried, but the cats would only ever lead people to the fish market. 
Blind cats can get along quite well using their whiskers and other senses, they just don’t get why people can’t do that and they figure if you need to be led around then they’re going to take you where they want to go.
Of course the cat can read the paper, he/she waits for the stupid dog to go out in the rain and fetch it.
Meanwhile the cat has a bite to eat, sniggers at Fidos stupidity and then has a nap
Not only can the cat read the paper, it can read it with its butt!
I think the fact that sums up cats best for me is that cats really can see color; they just choose not to.
They can also fetch sticks, balls and other sundry items. They choose not to.
Why? Because the stupid dog will run its tripes off fetching and carrying
Sooooo…I should name my next cat Bartleby?
What a fine hero. He’s a cat, a king of the world.
Dogs are completely superior to cats, no question!
Of course dog owners are inferior to cat friends, as all they (dog owners) want in a pet is obedience and worship…
Besides… you can “own” a dog (that is what it lives for), but at best, you can be friends with a cat…
If you have the heart mind and soul to do so…
regards
FML