You obviously have strong opinions about me. And I’m sure I’ve said plenty in this thread that any number of people could object to. But kindly point out where I “explicitly said that a poor, disabled person deserved to die.”
Sorry my questions impress you as “dumb and provocative.” I’ve had similar responses to at least 1 or 2 threads I’ve read over the years. In the past, when I have started threads asking, “What do you think?”, mods have told me that threads ought to (apologies for forgetting specific words) adopt one position or another. So I try to do so. I don’t think I do so in a manner that misrepresents my feelings or attempts to provoke. But I’m not quite sure how to take a position on some topics that would not potentially provoke someone.
I admit to some confusion as to how these boards operate lately. I’ve started what I considered innocuous threads out of the Pit, only to be told they belong in the Pit. I have also been told by responders that Pit threads I have started vent insufficient spleen. And I remember when the Pit was a much more wide open place. So as a result, I guess that even tho I think the skier and non-evacuees stupid, I could easily have posted this elsewhere without using that term. But since I thought the Pit the correct place, I thought I didn’t need to pussyfoot around.
One reason I ask questions here is because they do seem to involve strong reactions from people which I either disagree with or do not share. I seek different views from different sources. Sometimes I change my opinions/actions, other times I don’t.
Yeah, but @Dinsdale is probably coming from the same POV that I would, also having lived in a hurricane-prone area, and in my case, having had multiple generations live in that same area.
While there are absolutely people who have poverty or mobility issues, they’re not the usual run of cretins who discount the fury and power of hurricanes and stay home, and then are SHOCKED! and wail piteously about the consequences of sticking around after the hurricane wrecks everything.
I mean, I feel sorry for the poor and/or medically fragile who are very limited in their ability to evacuate, but for the rest? Not much sympathy. Hurricanes don’t sneak up on you, and there’s NO excuse for being unprepared especially in a place like Florida or the rest of the Gulf Coast.
No, never saw it. My dad impressed upon us kids the need to be willing to drop everything and run from danger when we get adequate warning that the fecal matter is about to impact the rotational cooling device. I walked away from a job and lost it when I lived in Virginia Beach in the mid 80s and a hurricane was wending its way to the area. I have no problem cutting and running. I personally want to stay alive. If I am alive, I can replace items.
When I link to a story where a poor disabled person died, because his shelter was not sufficient and the friends who were helping him could not physically rescue him, your literal response (that I even quoted for fucks’ sake) was, “Boo fucking hoo.”
I lived on Guam for years. I also lived in a hurricane-prone area (well, “typhoon” since it’s in the Pacific). I went through 2 typhoons, one that got to Category 4 when it hit us, another that just barely missed the island but still caused extensive damage. And many tropical storms and depressions.
So yes, I am in the same boat as you two. We were extremely prepared, we had a “typhoon closet” with weeks’ worth of supplies, our house was built by the military (we lived on base) so we were lucky enough to be very prepared.
(Not the actual house I lived in, but the house was basically the same; all concrete, flat and squat, plexiglass windows, and so on.)
Not everyone is as fortunate. Some people barely get by from paycheck to paycheck, and struggle to feed themselves and have any kind of roof over their head. They just can’t prepare or properly protect themselves from something like a hurricane.
Then you are not Dinsdale.
There are the usual “Darwin Award” types of people. Folks who have the means to do something about their situation and don’t. They decide to drive their car into floodwaters, they go outside to play in gale-force winds, they just ignore the news and figure that everything is being dramatized and they will be fine. I have little sympathy for those people. But those aren’t all of the people. Dinsdale has expressed no sympathy for anyone hit by this disaster, though. Including people who can’t help themselves.
Again, he literally had zero sympathy for a story I linked to, where a disabled person died because he could not be rescued. His response was that the person did not join a “Special Needs Program” ahead of time, the death only warranted a “Boo fucking hoo”.
How many times do I need to repeat it? Why are you white knighting this behavior?
Also, again, his OP indicts everyone who died. Every fucking person. And when I asked about people who couldn’t help themselves. no sympathy. Are you not reading this thread?!
But what Hilaree did wasn’t ridiculous or stupid for someone with her advanced skills and experience. 30 years of successful descents indicate she was a good judge of the risk & her capabilities. We don’t yet know what went wrong so it’s entirely possible it was an equipment failure, not a mistake on her part. What’s ridiculous is people who are afraid to get off the couch thinking they are somehow superior to anyone who doesn’t play life as safe as possible.
I do enjoy watching extreme skiing & other very challenging sports, not because they might die, but because they almost certainly won’t – these aren’t suicidal amateurs, they’re advanced athletes. I accidentally watched the selfie by the kid who hung off an 80-story building & was unable to pull himself back up. It was not the same at all – that was haunting, not exciting.
Not only that , but they consider it to go without saying that they’re entitled to help when their own bad choices lead to bad outcomes. That’s what rankles me the most.
I think there’s a difference between not playing as safe as possible and seeking out danger. Which doesn’t mean I think people shouldn’t be allowed to do so if that’s what makes them tick. But then the risk of death and/or life-changing injury kind of comes with the territory. I remember Jacques Villeneuve saying something to that end when asked if he was afraid on the F1 circuit , having lost his father in a crash and being an F1 driver himself. It’s not the risky behaviour, it’s the awareness and responsibility. At least for me it is.
And the natural human preference for “just world theory”, which reassures frightened people that they personally will be safe because they didn’t “bring it on themselves” by making such “stupid choices”, tends to erode empathy.
If I had a job like Dinsdale’s where I was constantly confronted with people who were either deliberately trying to scam the system or honestly seeking help in personal catastrophes to which we are all much more vulnerable than we’d like to think, I might find it comforting to retreat to a “they brought it on themselves, so why should I care” mindset too.
There are several different types of compassion, most of which require empathy. Basic compassion is being concerned, not neutral; moved if someone is suffering. One might recognize most people are similar and essentially in the same boat.
Compassion fatigue is a thing, but for most people it bounces back with rest or replenishment. It’s absence is always a sign of hurt or suppression of hurt. It’s absence is glaring in anyone, and if chronic can be rightly associated with severe flaws. It is definitely not pity - looking down on others from some perch, helping no one.
Is it so in another thread you were talking about relatives in Florida? Is it possible this is affecting your views? No doubt the news covers many items of little interest. No doubt some people make inaccurate judgements. No doubt many in the path of a disaster should do more. Might they be limited by information, resources, disability, transportation, money, jobs, duty, social ties? Might they have reason to believe things might not be so bad, or they can move later if required, or should these things always be judged before or after the fact? Were you in the same situation would you judge yourself more kindly than you judge others?
We live in toxic times, arguably, where it might seem tough to affect nonchalance or advocate harsh policies or limit your compassion to an immediate circle to avoid fatigue. Does compassion move us, as Chekhov claimed, from beyond numbness to healing? Mindfulness, self-compassion and compassion can all change your physiology, your mental and physical health, and even increase your lifespan and health span. Is there a price to pay for eschewing these?
Ooh, I like this idea. I’m going to use this as a way to lessen my annoyance at those people.
Next time someone is acting like a jerk, I can take a deep breath and lower my blood pressure by thinking “Oh good, another experiment. Let’s see what Asshole Number Four So Far This Week is going to say next, and how every different person here responds…”
.
I might be the guy who does exaggerated imitations of others. We’ll be out drinking and I’ll just be quietly lampooning the politicians or celebrities being discussed. Eventually, I get around to parodying everyone at the table.
It is a good test of empathy and observation. So thankful that I spend time with people who don’t take themselves too seriously.
You mean, like kids on a playground shouting at another kid “This is you!” and proceeding to caricature the other kid’s stutter or limp or something?
Hey, if you and your friends enjoy that, it’s nobody else’s business (until you make it their business by spontaneously telling them about it, of course).
Of observation, certainly, although it’s weird to hear a habit of deliberately making fun of other people’s behavioral peculiarities described as involving “empathy”.
Agreed. If you ever have to hang out with anybody who isn’t part of this very accepting circle of friends, I strongly advise against trying out your party trick of “mocking caricature of other people’s behavior” with them.
Ah, good point. There is one friend who takes any kind of joking as an affront to his ego, so we’re all more controlled if he’s there.
But I’m sorry if I gave the impression of a “mocking caricature of other people’s behavior”. I said “imitating”, and it has much more affection in it. We all love each other, and that shows.
Example: I made a pun on a title from Dickens one night, and a friend looked at his watch, and in an exaggerated version of my voice said “Oh no, it’s 10pm and I haven’t made a clever comment yet. Hmmm, Dickens always works…”
That’s a lot more fun than talking about the weather, and a long ways from “This is you!..”