More very hate-able commercials

This one has been playing multiple times a day and I want to strangle somebody every time the guy says he wants his business card “to invoke all the things that [company name] stands for.”

“I have moderate to severe Crohn’s disease…”

You didn’t ask your doctor to narrow that down for you?

Speaking of nasty intestinal disorders…why to drug companies find it necessary to have an actor describe irritable bowel syndrome in lengthy, graphic detail? On the flip side, why is a freakin’ cartoon necessary to illustrate the sluggishness induced by opioid drugs on the gastrointestinal tract?

I am not in the market for a pickup truck, but if I were I would never buy one from that smarmy wiseass dog walloper who calls people “pal”. I am not nor will I ever be your pal, you valueless piece of recycled toilet paper.

I would buy one from the Peoples’ Republic of Korea before I would consider buying a Ford F-150 as long as you are trying to sell me one by calling me “pal”, you smegma-devouring dingleberry.

Notice that the cards say “Diamond, Luxury Healthcare”. Luxury Healthcare? Dude, you’re a doctor.

That reminds me: I think the Miralax commercial should win some kind of prize for Most Realistic Turd in Ad History. It may be purple in the cartoon, but that is one authentic-looking log!

This may explain why Gelett Burgess grew to hate his own poem “The Purple Cow.”

A new Key Bank commercial. A 30-ish professionally dressed woman is about to buy a cup of coffee from a street vendor and her coworker walks up and says “If you use that card for your coffee, you’re going to overdraft.” And she says “Over-whaaat?” And everyone within earshot says “Eesh” with a pained look.

How in the world does a woman that age, who is stretched so thin that a single damn cup of coffee is going to put her in the red, not know the word “overdraft”? And how the Hell does that guy know so much about her financial situation?

That IS a thing. Google “Concierge Medicine”.

No kidding! I keep expecting the Charmin bears to drift into this territory…they’ve already shown toilet paper bits clinging to a little bear’s furry bottom.

Is that different from the cartoon intestines that seem to have a fixation on the fish tank in the restaurant?

Still distracted driving, according to research showing that hands-free really doesn’t help. Just quit playing with the stupid precious phone and PAY ATTENTION TO THAT TON+ OF METAL YOU’RE OPERATING!!!

Yuck. The models in those ads never look like their hair’s been CLEAN any time recently.

This one isn’t really hateable, but always elicits a “WTF?” response from me. It’s for that postmenopausal vaginal hormone cream. When they start rattling off the “do not use if…” conditions, one of them is “if you think you might be pregnant” (or something similar). If you are postmenopausal, how much of a chance is that?

If it’s the one(s) I’m thinking of, that’s Denis Leary. If you’ve ever seen any of his stand-up act, that’s the way he is. He’s probably not going to change his personality for a commercial.

It’s like when Daniel Tosh says he was asked to do a graduation speech and he was asked not to come back, he said something to the effect of: “You expected me to be serious about this?”

I believe that in one case, the device responds to the text by telling them you are driving and will get back to them. And lets you know it’s waiting for you.

But Texting is evil and stupid anyway.

Not a hateable commercial, but I was curious if anyone can identify this commercial. It is recent, say no more than three months ago. It advertises a cell phone or a feature on a phone. The ending shows a man and a woman sitting at a restaurant. The man wants to do something on his phone and she says something. The guy then asks how she did “that”? The woman replies something along the lines of “I just checked here”, pointing to her phone.

She has shortish hair.

Any help would be great!

I’ve missed that one! Sounds horrifying.

If they’re the same ones I’m thinking about, they kinda look like a little pink turtle.

The spouse and I think they hang out with the ambulatory bladder from the other commercial when they’re not working.

Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jVMaY5CKxI