I recently was invited to a Mormon wedding, and I attended.
In accordance with the LDS church, it was not a temple sealing–I understand that if it was, I couldn’t go to the temple, as I am not LDS. This marriage was held in a civil area, and was officiated by a Mormon elder, who was licensed by our province to perform marriages. Still, all attendees–Mormons and non-Mormons alike–were happy to see our friends united in marriage. It was a happy day for all, and I was honored that my buddy (the groom) invited me to help celebrate his marriage.
As I expected, the LDS officiant made a brief statement about the importance of marriage, then launched straight into the vows. Once the couple agreed to them, he said, “I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The couple signed the required provincial government documents, and were presented to us as Mr. and Mrs. _____."
My question: Are Mormon marriage ceremonies usually so short? This one must have taken about five minutes–even my own marriage, in a Protestant church, took about twenty minutes, allowing for hymns, a Bible reading, and the questions and vows.
Regardless, in the end, my buddy married a fine girl, and I wish them both many happy years together. I’m just curious as to how long LDS weddings typically take.
LDS non-temple weddings are definitely the red haired step children in that world. There is so much of a push for temple weddings and they really try to get people to go that way.
It really depends of the person officiating, which typically would be the bishop, a lay person, in charge of a single congregation, or a branch president for a smaller congregation. When you say “elder” do you mean a missionary? It’s not typical to refer to someone other than a missionary as an elder.
But back to Mormon non-temple weddings. I had one, back for my first wedding. We got married in Salt Lake, and I felt pressure from my mother to let the bishop, a good neighbor do it. It was at a B&B and it lasted about 5 minutes. We also had a ceremony in Japan and that was much longer.
My sister had one as well and I’ve been to another couple. They were all pretty short.
They usually just aren’t eared for non-temple weddings so they typically don’t have hymns or Bible readings. Mormon services usually don’t have Bible readings, either.
There’s some discussion on the ex-mormon fora suggesting that the reason the church downplays non-temple weddings is to socially pressure people into going to the temple for their wedding.
I’ve never been to a mormon wedding that I recall. I’ve been to plenty of receptions after the happy couple returned from whichever temple they were married in. Those generally consist of streamers on the basketball hoops in the gym, those shitty wedding mints, a bowl of mixed nuts, and maybe some cake. No music, no food, you pop in for 15 minutes, eat cake and head out. I don’t even recall any sort of fanfare made over gifts either. Generally speaking, mormon celebrations kind of suck but I’m sure some mormon will pop in here and offer some outlier examples to shoot me down with.
To be fair, a lot of Mormons think that the temple marriage ceremony sucks as well. Such threads on Mormon related boards generates a lot of comments on this topic.
Those weddings also do not have hymns and such. I’ve never attended one, but I’ve heard about them.
The reception in the ward gymnasium is fairly standard. You go through a line to meet the wedding party then have the “shitty” mints, a tiny portion of mixed nuts and some koolaide punch.
At least the cost of the wedding and reception are really low.
I’ve been to Mormon weddings both inside and outside the temple and the reception is defiantly the big part of the wedding. As stated above there is no hymns inside the temple but the sealer will usually give a somewhat longish speech about what marriage is and gives advice on how to have a successful marriage but usually it takes 10 - 20 minutes. Usually you’re waiting to start in the temple longer than the actual ceremony. Unlike what was said above I wouldn’t say it sucks and in-fact can be a very sweet and touching ceremony.
Outside the temple is more of a mixed bag. The officiator, usually a bishop which is a lay leader of a local congregation, does not have a lot of experience marrying people, as opposed to the sealer mentioned above who does probably a dozen or more every Saturday and more during the week, and there isn’t any particular form he’s supposed to follow so other than the actual marriage vows there isn’t much for him to do. Neither costs the couple any money and neither the sealer nor the bishop receives any pay for performing the ceremony so there is no sense of “getting your money’s worth”.
Receptions in the church cultural hall, what was referred previously to as the gym although all sorts of activities go on there, are very common except for very well off couples, I’ve been to maybe 2 located in other locations. This is in keeping with the thrifty nature of the church and it’s members since having their reception there is free and usually will provide a sound system with microphones and the ward members will often times donate food and drink and maybe even bake the cake for the couple.
I’ve never been to one without music and they usually have better food than what was as mentioned above. Generally we’re not a very formal group of people and though those who went to the temple will dress up I’ve had people there at the reception in t-shirts. The wedding itself although important compares little to the importance of the life the bride and groom will be leading and there is no reason to spend a lot of money for a big party.
IIRC LDS couples who have a non-temple wedding ceremony have to wait a least a year before they can be Sealed in the temple; the only exception is when a civil marriage services is required by local law.
Back in the late 70s, the church choir I sang in was hired to sing at a Mormon wedding in, one of their non-Temple facilities. I don’t remember much about the service (although I think I recall the bride singing “The First Time (Ever I Saw Your Face)” to her new husband at one point), but one thing that stood out for me was that when the officiant was doing the leading questions business, he said something along the lines of “[Do you make these vows] AS IF YOU WERE IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD?”
That one was a new theological wrinkle for me, and I asked one of the more learned members of the choir why the officiant would imply that God wasn’t omnipresent. He told me that LDS believe that you’re not in the presence of God unless you’re in the Temple.
Thanks, folks, for the replies. Based on your replies, and replies received from other sources, I conclude that Mormon non-Temple marriages tend to be short. Shorter than any other I’ve experienced, anyway.
I was married by a rabbi in my mother-in-law’s house and I don’t think the ceremony took more than five minutes. I walked up to the huppah (kind of tent), my FIL brought his daughter, the rabbi read a couple of prayers. Do you… I do. Do you…I do. Sign this. Off to the reception in the same house.