Okay, first of all, I’m a guy…a heterosexual guy, which probably makes this wrong in a number of ways, or at the very least somewhat embarrassing.
A little over a month ago my SO (damn her to bloody Hell) began watching a DVD she received as a gift of a show called Hello Morning. For those of you unversed in things Musume, Hello Morning was a weekly TV show starring the then current members of the Japanese idol singing group Morning Musume. From time to time, the show would also feature other groups who were managed by the same agency, as well as other guests.
One day a couple of weeks before Christmas, I heard my SO cackling in the living room, so I went to see what was so funny. She rewound the DVD (does one rewind a DVD?) to the beginning of the segment and pulled me onto the couch to watch. At first I didn’t understand what the heck was going on. There was a lot of activity on a stage containing just about every color of the rainbow, and mainly late teen and young adult women talking to each other at a frenetic pace, laughing, and watching, while two others, who were blindfolded and shrieking in panic, were trying to identify something that was being lowered onto their heads from above, suspended by a string. The girls buzzed in when they thought they knew what the item was and, upon successful identification, received a point for their team, prompting another set of contestants. Although I admit I did laugh during the segment as it was quite funny, the entire presentation, with its bright colors and bouncy, pop-y, background music, seemed something a 13-year old girl would be into, not a grown-assed man.
Over the course of a few days and a few episodes, my SO explained to me who each of the members were but, although most of them were cute in my estimation, she could see she was losing me fast. At this point I thought they were just a young comedy group of some kind as they also did skits as part of the show, which were entertaining, funny, and showed the girls actually had some talent. However, when I first took real notice was during one of their seemingly infrequent (at the time) singing segments.
After a few days I began to look forward to the next episode. If I’m honest with myself I was probably already hooked by then, but what definitely ensnared me was when we were told about Utaban (short for uta bangumi), a Japanese variety show, hosted by Ishibashi Takaaki, that, from time to time, had Morning Musume on as guests. In the episodes we were able to find Takasan was relentless in his teasing of some the members of Morning Musume, especially Iida Kaori and Yuko Nakazawa, which resulted in hilarious interaction. Utaban is what got me interested in the members of Morning Musume as real people, with faults, and vulnerabilities, and unique talents, rather than plastic, cutesy, pop stars. Thus began my descent into Musume mania.
I began reading up on the group and each member’s biography. I found and watched every video I could, and then, one day last week I found out about the graduations and my heart sank. It turns out Morning Musume has generations of different members, and all the members I’ve invested my fandom into were of the first through fourth generations who have all left the group. Talk about being devastated. When a member leaves the group in good standing they are given what’s called a graduation ceremony, which has to be one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. It actually consists of a dual ceremony; one among the members themselves, and one on stage for the fans. Both are painful for any true fan to watch, as each member expresses her gratitude, through tears, for the graduating member. Yuko Nakazawa, one of the founding members of Morning Musume and turns 37 this year, was one of the first prominent members to graduate in 2001 at the age of 28. My other favorites, Natsume Abe (aka Nacchi, Abechan, and Abesan), Goto Maki (aka Gocchin, Gotchan, and Gotsan), Tsuji Nozomi (aka Tsujichan, Nonchan, and Nono), Kago Ai (aka Aibon and Kagochan), Kaori Iida (aka Iidasan and Johnson), Yasuda Kei (aka Keichan), Yaguchi Mari (aka Yagutsan, Yaguchan and Yaguch), and Yoshizawa Hitomi (aka Yossie) are all gone now.
I still watch episodes of Hello Morning, as well as its latest iteration Haromoni, along with the specials, concerts, and sports events. I still get a kick out of every episode, although it’s somewhat tempered by the fact that everything I’m watching now happened at least three years ago.
As far as their music is concerned, I will say that I find most of their songs so saccharine I think I actually feel my teeth rotting in my skull. Two cases in point are Love Machine and The Peace. Don’t get me wrong, the songs are not bad, just a little too sweet and peppy for my tastes. I have grown to like The Peace better with each viewing/listen. One of their songs I actually do like quite a bit is I Wish, but I hate the conflicting emotions I feel when listening to it, since the members tend to use it as their graduation song.
I can’t get into the newest members of Morning Musume. They don’t seem as talented as the older members, and are just a little too cute. In fact, it seems their main purpose is to be as cute as possible, which becomes draining very quickly. I know just about everyone loves Tanaka Reina, but she doesn’t hold a candle to Yossie’s strength and athleticism, Iidasan’s ambition and vulnerability, Tsujichan’s caring, innocent optimism, amazing arm-wrestling ability and her two Guinness World hula-hoop records, Kagochan’s angelic voice and team spirit, or Yaguchan’s unbound exuberance, all of whom could also act and sing.
In March there’s going to be a mass graduation of all elder Hello!Project members ( Hello!Project is the umbrella organization for many Japanese idol groups, e.g.: Morning Musume, Coconuts Musume, Country Musume, Tanpopo, MiniMoni, etc…), but I’ll worry about finding a way to watch that when the time comes. For now, I’ll continue with the current batch of my SO’s Hello Morning episodes.
By the way, my SO has lost interest, but I’m still hooked. Weird? Me?
HO! ho ra yu kou ze, souda minna yu kou ze. SAAA! ho ra uta ou ze, souda minna uta ou ze. HO! ho ra chika ou ze, souda minna chika ou ze. SAAA! ho ra ai souze, saikoukyuu de ai sou ze!
Maybe. (heh)
I’ll pass. Thanks anyway.
