Morons at Costco

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I don’t know what was going on but clearly this was intentional so I’ll share this experience and you can make of it what you will.

I was at Costco on this sunny Sunday afternoon. I was in one of my normal, ‘I don’t really give a fuck’ moods which means I’m not going to get upset but if you fuck with me, I’m going to call you out on it and not even think once about it regardless of who you are. I’m 6ft in my running shoes, and over 200lbs with a lot of that in my upper body so even much bigger guy think twice before they get in my face. Although I think this is mostly irrelevant to the story, but you never know.

Anyway, I’m looking for some brush head replacement for an electric toothbrush over in pharmacy. I ask a guy who says that they’re on the other side of the store with the actual base units of another type of brush.

I tell him that I checked and they’re not there but he insists, so I trundle over with my overflowing basket to check this out. I’m pretty sure he’s full of shit but I can’t imagine that he would send me on a wild goose chase, right?

I get there, no brush heads. But beforehand, I park my basket. The store is completely fucking packed so you don’t want to be navigating with one you can barely see over.

I go up and down each adjacent aisle just be to be sure - nothing. I go to retrieve my basket, and it’s gone. Another one is parked in it’s place.

Clearly someone had taken mine and moved it - right?

Now, you’d think I’d be pissed off. Au contraire. I’m on some powerful mood stabilizers (topiramate), max dose I think. So pretty much nothing actually pisses me off. I WILL still tell you to fuck yourself, but I won’t be upset when I do it. It’s kinda weird. It’s said more as helpful advice than as an epithet. That’s the best way I can describe it.

Anyway, the items in the cart were some big ass things that it would take me all of 5 minutes to replace, so it was no big deal. I figured, I may as well finish my search for the brush heads so I return to the pharmacy area.

Well, there is my cart. I grab it start down the aisle with the dental products. About half way down I turn around and notice a group of people who seem to be looking in my direction. I just start laughing. I’m not sure why. I guess I figured if it was in fact an intentional deception, I suppose they thought I would never come back to where I started and where the person who gave me the bad advice had been, so the joke was on them.

The other possibility is that someone legitimately took the wrong basket, but I find that extremely difficult to believe. I mean I had a fucking 1000lb capacity hand truck in there, a huge box for an electronic kitchen garbage can and a box for a Galaxy Note 2 tablet. These are all pretty obvious and hard to mistake. And that’s not to mention the family size bottle of Bailey’s.

Anyway, no harm no foul I guess. But it did really worsen my mood such that somebody in the parking lot was staring at me for my music being too loud. Oh, too fucking bad. For 2 minutes it will take you to get out of the lot, deal with it shit head. :frowning:

2

Kind of a weird situation and if I didn’t know better I would say your medication caused you to forget where you left your cart. Happens to me and I don’t take anything but vitamins. Costco is not the kind of place where I see mischievous imps moving carts around. “Seem to be looking in my direction” is not a scathing indictment. Were they looking and snickering or just kind of looking?

3

I can’t dismiss that possibility, except I’m not prone to hallucinations. That’s not part of any of my Dx’s of dysthymia, OCD and ADD, nor is it a side effect of any of the meds.

Also I clearly recall not only pushing the basket all the way across the store but also parking it in a very specific place.

As to the people, I don’t know and don’t care. I suck with faces and make no effort to remember people, their names or how they look.

4

I think you need to get over yourself.

5

That’s really not an issue, but feel free to believe what you want.

6

Really? Sounds like a tough guy spoiling for a fight.

7

Yes, I was aware of that when I wrote it and was disinclined to include it for that reason. However my physical appearance is, oddly enough, often the reason people WANT to fuck with me. Go figure. :confused:

8

Literature comprehension is not my strong suit, so maybe you can help me out here. Who was the moron in this story?

9

Possibly no one, possibly everyone.

10

People at Costco.

11

I read the OP as Mormons. That would have been a better story.

Also, I second Chefguy’s original opinion.

12

I’ve seen those people!
They like to go into Costco, hide the tooth brush heads, wait for a tough guy to abandon his cart, and then move it.

They are easy to spot, even in the parking lot. They hate loud music.

13

Actually, I’m one of them. I’ll take a nip from your Bailey’s as well.

14

I’m hardly a tough guy. I have 2 graduate degrees and was an outcast for virtually my entire time in primary and secondary school. I skipped my senior year of high school simply because there was no reason for me to stay.

It was only many years later that i got into body building and that only last for a few years, it’s just that I happened to make extraordinary progress during that period by using certain supplements (no steroids) and I’ve managed to maintain those gains over the years.

However I do apparently seem “scary” to some people I suppose. I have scars up and down one arm from self-inflicted wounds. I’m unshaven virtually always with very long hair and baggy clothes. And although I WILL tear your head off if you fuck with me, I’m otherwise exquisitely polite and respectful.

15

It sure seems like the simplest explanation is that after getting directions at the pharmacy, you accidentally grabbed the wrong cart and took that over to the other side of the store. The neatly explains why another cart was where you left it, and why the real cart was where you were before. If you’re grumbling about the wild goose chase, it seems plausible that you’d legitimately not notice.

16

That is the best explanation so far. The problems I would raise however are that there were no line of sight issues with the substituted cart and that cart was ladened with many more goods, especially what looked to be grocery items - the sort of thing I would have noticed.

When I say ‘line of sight’, I could easily see over the second cart but not mine. The hand truck was loaded so that it stuck up in the air at an angle. That was find. but then the box with the garbage can was on top of that which which raised the line of sight at least 3-4 inches above my eyes. That’s something I would or at least should have noticed immediately.

Granted there ARE days when I’m not altogether with it, but generally avoid going out in such cases except when it is a dire necessity and then only to the extent necessary. I would NEVER brave the crowds at Costco or anywhere else in such a condition.

But thank you, that is a very plausible scenario.

edit: also, I had my cart in hand when talking to the gentleman who gave me the bad information and proceeded across the store immediately.

17

Topiramate, aka Topamax, isn’t nicknamed “Dopamax” for nothing. :slight_smile:

18

Some people have that response but for others, it’s basically little more than a placebo except for the mood stabilizing effects.

Same for Gabapentin. Some people have horrible reactions to it. I take a few grams per day with virually no noticable effect - even mood wise (need for other neurological reasons)

19

I suppose now I’ll wait for all of the people to chime in about I’m a drug addled psychopath and that’s the most likely explanation.

Feel free. Try to be original and humorous.

20

Next time go to Walmart. We won’t need to wait for your post here because it will be on the evening local news, complete with video.