Mortal Combat: Margarine vs Butter?

No, not the old video game - I needed that phrase for this title, figuring there could be mass bloodshed between these two entities.
A friend once mentioned about some dude who, upon autopsy, revealed a huge, hardened, cyst-like ball of what turned out to be margarine in his stomach. Whether this story was apocryphal or not, it’s always niggled at me, and recently I looked down at my alarmingly larger-than-I-expected paunch (while thinking about buddy with margarine ball) and suddenly decided, after 51 years of margarine consumption, to switch to butter.
Because butter needs to refrigerated, (or at least definitely more so than margarine does) I’m discovering what a pain in the ass it is to butter the rock-hard shit on toast in the morning (being on day five of this, lol).
Also annoying how each new study comes out saying butter’s better, then the next one says the opposite.
A bit of tough-guy subject here, if you think you have the cojones to chirp about it.

Our butter stays out without problem. Unless it takes you weeks to use one stick, don’t worry.

Butter and real margarine are equally caloric. The light margarines are half water and will soggy toast and popcorn and can throw off recipes.

Bull and shit.

As for butter, there are spreadable whipped butters that include some other oils.

But margarine isn’t a thing. It’s a category that includes dozens of different oils and combinations of them, with varying amounts of other ingredients, which may or may not include milk. Trying to compare margarine and butter is futile.

I don’t refrigerate my butter, it sits out for weeks.

Worse than that - I’ve seen cases where the entire small bowel and colon were distended with a rock-hard cast of margarine, weighing over 200 pounds.

(in Elvis’ case, the bowels were loaded with hardened peanut butter, from all those peanut butter and banana sandwiches he ate). :eek:

Butter’s better in my opinion.

Just leave a little out at a time in a butter dish for spreading and it’s all good.

Butter. It tastes tremendously better. Most people don’t eat enough butter or margarine on a daily basis for it to really effect health, so who cares about that. You can keep butter at room temperature for weeks.

Since I don’t see an actual question in the OP, and this is about food, let’s move it to Cafe Society.

Colibri
General Questions Moderator

Salted butter, yes. Unsalted butter, no.

Margarine is … something. Cheaper I guess. Life is much too short for fake food. Years ago, in the midwest at least, maybe other Dairy states as well margarine by law could only be sold “in the white” or undyed. Yellow packets of food coloring were included so the end user could mix it up and have something that at least looked a little more like dairy butter and not something more suitable for repacking wheel bearings.

Personally, I like butter better than margarine… but I don’t like it four times better. The difference in flavor isn’t worth the price.

My uncle ate margarine all his life. By the time he was seventy, he was an oleo golem. We used to swipe bread across his forehead before putting it in the toaster.

Margarine has no place in my life, except possibly as the oily component of Buffalo wing sauce (because of textural issues). Margarine has no flavor, or rather the flavor it has is not one I desire. Butter does. It’s not exactly expensive, either, so it’s always unsalted butter in the house. One stick is kept in a butter dish at room temperature, the others in the fridge until the butter dish butter runs out. Never had a stick go rancid on me, and generally an unsalted stick of butter will last 1-3 weeks at our house before it’s used up. A good piece of crusty toasted bread and some butter (preferably cultured) is one of my favorite “simple joys” in life. Seriously, there are few things that make me happier.

I once saw a stick of unsalted butter tear the spine out of a tub of margarine in a back alley in front of its kids. True story.

Where does a puddle of olive oil fit into this battle?

As others have said, you can leave butter out on the counter for several days. However, it does degrade a little bit, and if you live in a warm climate that might not be ideal. So, get yourself a butter bell. Butter stays at spreadable temperature for many, many days with no degradation in quality. You can thank me later.

Don’t forget, margarine is only one molecule away from plastic!

:stuck_out_tongue:

Anyway the game was called Mortal Kombat. :stuck_out_tongue:

Margarine doesn’t melt right, or taste right, in most of my applications. There’s also canola spread, which doesn’t seem to do anything right. I pick spreadable butter every time.

Margarine is like a tiger, and butter is like a lion. And we all know how that ended, don’t we?

the “hardened ball of something” in the stomach is a known phenomenon, it’s called a bezoar. as far as I can tell, margarine is not known to cause them.

your “paunch” is visceral fat. that comes from poor diet in general, not margarine.

old-style margarine was bad bad bad, with its partially hydrogenated oils. modern margarine is made from a blend of fully hydrogenated oils (which supposedly contain no trans fat) and liquid vegetable oil.

but still, IMO, unless you’re vegan there’s no reason to use margarine over butter.