My father-in-law was just diagnosed with Grave’s disease. He’s been feeling really, really lousy for a couple of months now, and the fear was that his Hep-C was finally catching up with him. The Hep-C was contracted back in the 70’s during a stay in the hospital for minor surgury. Obviously, we are all troubled over this.
FIL & MIL have been talking about buying a new home, as their current home (a McMansion) may soon be too expensive to maintain. You see, FIL has to disclose the Hep-C in order to get life insurance, and disclosing Hep-C renders him uninsurable. Catch-22. He has an envyable salary, but no real retirement plan. Like many other investors & 401K holders, he took a beating the last couple years financially.
I think they’re trying to stage a Contingency Plan. My wife asked me last night if I’d consider renting an apartment from her parents, as the house they’re looking at has a 2000 square foot in-law suite. She loves the idea, and her selling points are as follows: more housing for less rent; which ties into quicker savings to buy our own home; baby-sitters near-by; nicer neighborhood; and the all-round warm & fuzzy feelings about having her folks closer (they live about 40 minutes away from us now).
I love them, and I feel compassion for them, and I hate to sound so damn cynical, but I think I’m being very subtly manipulated. For the record, my parents are long divorced, and very early in our marriage, my wife and I discussed the eventual possibility of having my mother in an in-law suite. My wife pretty much dismissed the idea, as she and my mother don’t get along. I though about throwing this into the mix yeaterday, but didn’t bother.
Keep in mind that if you go this route you should do what I didn’t: Make a contract, a simple one. With stupid things like “I promise to always knock on the door and wait for a response before entering”, “The children are allowed to receive gifts under $60 on special occasions, otherwise monetary gifts should be made into a college fund” and “So-and-so is responsible for the upkeep of the house”. Just things that you could forsee as getting ugly, before they do.
Is she an only child? When the time comes (the passing of the in-laws) are there other siblings that will fight for the property you are renting from? If you are an only child and your mother eventually needs somewhere to live, what then?
My MIL lives with us and I can’t say that it’s mentally easy, especially when we argue (usually about the kids). I wish to God that I had created a contract before she moved in with us. The thinking then and now is that since my spouse is an only child, I know that we would be caring for her eventually, so why not have the benefits of an extra adult eye around the kids while they’re young. The thing we need to watch out for is her spending, because eventually we would be responsible for that too.
Oof. Any kind of “Contract” would be met with swift and certain disapproval, as my inlaws are both very generous and extraordinarily sensitive. My FIL is particularly easily offended. I like that idea, though, generally speaking.
I’m an only child. My wife has a sister. SIL is very caught up in the whole “wealth thing”, as is her hubby. They’re both nice and decent people, but very materialistic and greedy. BIL walks around the in-laws place practically drooling over what he figures is his inheritance. The point, though, is that there will most likely be no inheritance, other than MIL. And it looks like we’re getting her when the time comes.
And yes, I am an only child, so the issue of my mother will come up again sooner or later.